They’re crashing in your guest room, reading Nietzsche by candlelight. Their bikes don’t have brakes, because friction is for The Man. They’ve tried to pay for hummus with a song.
They are hipsters, and they’re taking over the NFL.
Relax. They’re not actually taking over the league—but imagine if they did. Imagine if every football fan in America were morphed into a bearded pseudo-intellectual swathed in scarves and stilted opinions.
Picture stadium concourses filled with coffee shops called “The Stanza” and “Grind House” instead of concession stands. What if vendors sold quinoa (queeno) instead of footlongs?
Now that we’ve all purged into the sink, let's wipe our mouths and indulge in the reality of the situation—hipster-ized NFL logos.
Indeed, David Rappoccio of Kissing Suzy Kolber has crafted a line of hipster logos for NFL franchises. Rappoccio has taken the traditional, meat-and-potatoes franchise seals and given them a liberal spritzing of patchouli oil.
Take the New England Patriots logo, which probably hits a little too close to home for a number of fans in the Cambridge area.
The Jaguars version is now sporting an earring, black frame glasses and a foppish comb-over. He’d care about the team’s record, but he’s a nihilist and they’re so underrated.
Here’s a guy who would be beaten senseless on any given day at the Coliseum, but fits quite well in this new, postmodern league.
Hipster Panthers logo wears stolen 3-D glasses from the movie theater because he’s just too much.
Green Bay hearts fixies, hates friction.
Please go look at the rest of Rappoccio’s handiwork. It’s incredibly well-done and highly deserving of your time. I wish I could forecast the league initiating an annual hipster day sometime in the future. The sight of Washington Redskins fans wearing "Not a Native" shirts would cause the Internet to break.
Let's post pictures of our free-range chais on the Internet.