Tim Tebow Has a New Fighter in His Corner: Chuck Norris

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Tim Tebow Has a New Fighter in His Corner: Chuck Norris

Tim Tebow’s legend simply will not die.

A mythology has sprung around the fabled winner of all things football. He has a fervent and loud following—one that has sprung up a new and unlikely supporter: Chuck Norris.

The American Ninja has written a diatribe, castigating the NFL and media for keeping Tebow from his rightful place on the throne of history. Below is a breakdown of that article, courtesy of NewsBusters, a nonprofit conservative website.

"America has the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) and the UCP (ultimate clutch players). One is mixed martial artists, and the other is quarterbacks of the NFL. They all are athletic warriors who are extremely determined to win.

"My favorite in the UFC is Georges St-Pierre. My favorite in the UCP is Tim Tebow. I know what you are thinking: Tebow has been in the NFL for only three years. True, but Tim's 2011 season with the Denver Broncos was one of the most remarkable in football history."

Broncos president John Elway decided to trade Tebow and a seventh-round pick (No. 232) to the New York Jets for their fourth- (No. 108) and sixth-round picks (No. 188) that offseason. He seldom played for a that 6-10 squad, and was released on April 29, 2013.

Said Norris:

Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

"What sportsman ever could forget how that amazing second-year QB came back from a 15-0 disadvantage to the Miami Dolphins to lead the Broncos to an 18-15 overtime victory and then led Denver to six wins in its next seven games and into the playoffs, beating the highly favored Pittsburgh Steelers in a wild-card game?"

What sorcery is this? Tebow came back from an insurmountable 15-0 deficit to defeat the mighty Miami Dolphins in overtime on the road? Why is the media covering anything else? Should we hold an annual celebration? Where is his purple heart?! 

And why was he not awarded the Lombardi Trophy on the spot when he beat the Steelers? Forget that Ben Roethlisberger was playing on one leg—that was simply the power of Tebow. I demand a recount.

Norris continued:

"Akbar Gbaja-Biamila, an analyst for NFL.com and NFL Network, explained in his article "Tim Tebow's history as a proven winner should not be ignored: "'Training camps are still a few months away, and already, every team in the NFL has made a major mistake: They've overlooked the winning record of Tim Tebow.... Pundits have tried to erase the success Tebow had in 2011 with the Denver Broncos, but make no mistake: It all happened. He did mount multiple fourth-quarter comebacks and notch four overtime victories; he did rush for 118 yards and throw for two touchdowns in one game; he did complete 66 percent of his passes and throw for two touchdowns in another.'"

Hey, Tebow threw for 66 percent that one game! Because statistics. Stop, wait, don’t look Tebow’s career statistics up. I said wait!

Year G Cmp% Yds TD Int Y/A Rate Sk Att Yds TD
2010 9 50 654 5 3 8 82.1 6 43 227 6
2011 14 46.5 1729 12 6 6.4 72.9 33 122 660 6
2012 12 75 39 0 0 4.9 84.9 2 32 102 0
Career 35 47.9 2422 17 9 6.7 75.3 41 197 989 12

Would you look at that? Seventy-five percent passing in 2012. Chuck Norris rests his case.

Norris: "Forbes just released its 2013 list of the most influential athletes, and Tim Tebow leads the pack, with the No. 1 ranking."

See? Forbes is on Tebow’s side. That fine sports publication knows exactly what it takes to win football games: influence. And magic, according to Norris:

"I've heard the critics say Tebow has poor technical skills, but the truth is that Tim is a natural leader, an amazingly gifted football player, an inspiration to his team and the possessor of intense determination and strategy to bring any team to victory—no matter what the odds."

Jeff Golden/Getty Images
Chuck Norris: Trolling with the best.

These wizards that coach in the NFL might say he’s got terrible mechanics, but don’t listen to them—listen to Hall of Fame NFL coach Chuck Norris. Just look at those intangibles—they’re just so...tangible.

Tebow's sheer will overrides all obstacles, especially the ones that involve him not being on a team.

"Tebow is a player who rises to the occasion and delivers big in critical moments."

Is he, now? Let's strike those losses from the record; apparently, we're just wrong.

That playoff game in Foxborough didn’t count, everyone. We need to go back and replay it, for keeps this time. Spin up the time machine, it’s time to go back...to the dystopian future!

"The same is true of the former Heisman Trophy winner: When pressure mounts and the game is on the line, Tim's turbo turns on. It has been said, 'If a quarterback came through with a clutch, final-minute victory, he pulled a 'Tebow.'" And that is why he is the ultimate clutch player."

It’s true, Tebow leads the league in clutch. It’s an official statistic, like UCP.

"So what team do I feel should give Tim the opportunity to excel as a quarterback and usher it to Super Bowl status? My present pick would be the Jacksonville Jaguars."

My, what an original idea. This has never been discussed. Get me Shahid Khan on the phone.

Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images

"Plus—and this has no reflection on the current quarterbacks—Tim is from Florida, where he bears a victor's legacy and an extensive fan base, to boot, from his days with the Gators, whom he led to two national championships and with whom he became the first sophomore ever to win the coveted Heisman Trophy."

What? Tim Tebow played in Florida? How come I’ve never heard of this? If the Jaguars sign him, do they automatically get two championship added to their collection?

"Only one thing stands in the way, as Gbaja-Biamila wisely retorted: 'Here's the truth as I see it: Many coaches let pride or fear of media and fan scrutiny affect the decisions they make about star players.'"

Yes, the NFL in its entirety—from Dan Snyder down to the Raiders towel boy and everyone in between—is afraid to have Tim Tebow on their team simply because it will bring media attention. The threat of winning football games at historic levels is too much to bear, so they all just blacklisted him instead.

"So let me respectfully challenge Khan to consider these words from Dr. King: 'There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.'"

If Tim Tebow was the No. 1 most influential person in sports, why would the position be unsafe or unpopular? Never mind, logic is nowhere to be found on this plane of existence.

"Tim Tebow is a winner—plain and simple!"

Are you buying what Chuck Norris is selling?

Submit Vote vote to see results

Yes, a winner, pesky losses be damned. Vince young is 31-19 as a NFL quarterback, where is his army of irrational supporters?

We should all be taking copious notes from Chuck Norris. The trained martial arts expert also happens to be an expert on all things football. It's a wonder he retired from NFL coaching.

On a semi-serious note, would it be the worst idea in the world to give Tebow an honest shot? Just let him start for a team so that the “you didn’t give him a chance” crowd can find something else to be bitter about. Then again, the well is poisoned—he will never get a fair shake in the eyes of a vocal few.

Someone is pounding on the front door, yelling something about Chuck Norris. 

 

Note: Poll question via ChuckNorrisFacts.com.

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