Behold, the “Seattle Shower.”
The Seattle Mariners might’ve lost to the Houston Astros 8-3 Wednesday night, but one fan carved out a moment for himself that transcended the game, catching a ball in his cup and chugging the contents as if George Washington and the rest of the founding fathers were standing witness to it all.
Don’t think about all the different resins, dirt and hand skin that the ball was covered in when it splashed down into his $10 beer. Think about the wherewithal this guy had in immediately chugging the rest of his drink with the ball still in the bottom.
Now, I know you’re thinking it looks like he managed to pour the brew everywhere but into his mouth, and that he’s going to smell like a ballpark trash can by the time he and his buddies get home.
All of this is true, and generally, wasting sweet hoppy nectar is a crime worthy of exile in the eyes of most baseball fans, but in this case, the guy has an excuse—the ball split his cup.
Rather than an attempt to further glorify the moment and play up the catch, this fan’s decision to start pouring the beer near and/or around his face was actually just quick-thinking. If you look closely, the beer is pouring out of a crack in the cup before he even puts it to his face, and when he goes to throw it on the ground (of course) the split is evident.
So if it seems impossible to chug a beer any worse, that’s because he was doing it with damaged goods. If one had to guess, he might’ve managed to get 25 cents worth of booze out of his chug.
Regardless of the amount of beer this man actually managed to put down his gullet, the Seattle Shower catch ‘n’ chug is the completely inverted Bizarro World version of the very timid reaction we saw from a fan at a Diamondbacks game earlier this April.
So props to you, random bro, and congratulations on inventing the Seattle Shower. It always goes down semi-smooth.
I’m taking a coffee Seattle Shower right now: Dr__Carson