Jordany Valdespin got hit in the groin with a Justin Verlander fastball that clocked in at 94 miles per hour. Somehow, he lived to joke about it.
Yahoo! Sports does a tap dance of sorts in reporting on yet another baseball injury that might interest fans.
Indeed, some of the quotes and tweets are both hilarious and a tad NSFW, so consider cyber earmuffs if you need them.
The Mets utility infielder had apparently homered off Verlander earlier in the game, so you know he was feeling pretty good about himself as he entered the batter's box the next time around.
We'll let Verlander do the play-by-play thanks to a quote he provided to Tigers beat writer, Chris Iott.
Justin Verlander: "Right out of the hand, it's like, 'Oh, (expletive). That is right at his balls."— Chris Iott (@Chris_Iott) March 11, 2013
Chuckles continue when we finally got word from the man who took one too many fastballs to the junk today, as well as a very specific placement of said fastball, via Mike Puma's Twitter.
Valdespin says he is OK ... Asked where he got hit: "My dick," Valdespin said.— Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) March 11, 2013
Yes, this is a funny story, but it's a little overblown when you consider he was wearing a cup. I mean, you have to be an idiot to enter a game without one.
Wait, what? He wasn't wearing one?
Mets aren't happy with Valdespin's judgement - he wasn't wearing a cup, I was just told.— Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) March 11, 2013
Well, this just makes Valdespin both dumb and legendary. They will one day write poems in honor of his most special of places that stood in defiance to a 94 mph heater.
Hell, I had to rummage through some old boxes and put on my cup just to write this thing. As we all know, baseball players aren't the brightest when it comes to being safe, but this has to be the offseason winner for bizarre injuries.
Valdespin: "â€œEverything is good, working good, normally, everything is great.â€— Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) March 11, 2013
Not to worry, despite not wearing a cup and taking one in the groin, Valdespin is doing just fine.
That will teach him to hit a home run off Verlander. Actually, that will teach him about the dangers of not wearing a cup.
There seems to be a lot of life lessons being taught at the moment, all of them of extreme import.
Hit me up on Twitter for more sage wisdom.