Welcome to California Don't Drink The Water

Barry Bonds, David Beckham, JaMarcus Russell, Al Davis—four of the most high-profile sports figures in the Golden State.

I've heard that you shouldn't drink the water in Mexico...but maybe the water north of the border is just as dangerous.

Bonds Deserves the Boos

All season long, it's been about Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's record.

Should anyone care?

Absolutely not.

I for one am more excited about Craig Biggio chasing 3,000 hits and Alex Rodriguez hitting his 500th home run. In all honesty, people would much rather want A-Rod or Ken "Kid Dynamite" Griffey than Bonds.

No matter what Bonds does, everyone in Dodger Stadium should boo the holy hell out of the juiced-up Giant this week. He deserves all the hate he gets.

Al Davis Should Just Die Already

Every Raiders season ticket owner will most likely agree with this statement: Al Davis should keel over before the season starts.

The Raiders go by the motto Commitment to Excellence. How ironic that they can't seem to find excellence's address.

Since the infamous Snow Job in Foxboro, everyone has forgotten the Raiders. Insert Lane Kiffin. Kiffin is an offensive guru who left a very secure job with USC. Unfortunately, he took a job with quite possibly the most dysfunctional franchise in the NFL.

The Raiders drafted JaMarcus Russell hoping for a savior. Too bad he hasn't signed yet. Somewhere, Raiders fans are hoping someone takes Davis off life support.

Russell and Brady Quinn Should Shut Up and Play

What's worse than being an athlete holding out for a better deal?

Being a holdout who's yet to prove himself on the field of battle.

JaMarcus Russell and Brady Quinn have never set foot on an NFL field, but they're both demanding more money before they sign on the dotted line.

I remember watching Russell while he was at LSU. Honestly, I think he got lucky to be the top pick in the draft.

Quinn is refusing to play because he wants job security. Hey Brady! These guys traded a pick away to pick you up. Isn't that enough job security for you?

Be realistic boys. You may be first-rounders, but the fact that you're holding out shows that you're not thinking about the frustrated fans counting on you to give them something to smile about.

Sign the deal, earn your spot, and above all else...SHUT UP AND PLAY!!! 

Get Bent, Beckham

David Beckham was supposed to be the man who saved American soccer.

 

Too bad he's a broken-down retread.

 

The English had had enough of their aging star, so they threw the scraps to Los Angeles. Of course, there's only one superstar in LA...and until Kobe gets traded, Becks ain't him.

 

As I see it, someone should donkey punch Mr. Beckham in the bluebloods...just so he'll have a real injury to complain about. 

 

Sorry, California—with all due respect to the Ducks, the Golden State is heading south very quickly. Hopefully the Angels and Dodgers can bring some good vibes to Los Angeles.