Don't let your eyes deceive you, because Mario Chalmers is extremely sexy. In fact, he may be one of the sexiest men alive.
According to a very real list by a very real magazine, Mario Chalmers is an extremely hot commodity. Oh, and so is that other guy Tom Brady.
CBS Sports spotted a wonderful list we would have normally ignored if not for the Super Mario inclusion to this year's breakdown.
You can view the marvelous list at People Magazine's official slideshow, where you will notice that it's a geographically-based rundown.
You will also notice Tom Brady, who takes the sexy cake for the state of Michigan. It makes sense because the man has swagger for days and the ladies have been saying as much for pretty much his whole career.
Even when he is being awkward.
Washington has Apolo Anton Ohno, who you will remember from the brief two-week period he is relevant every four years during the Winter Olympics.
Alaska, however, goes to the apparently very sexy and very erratic-shooting Mario Chalmers. Ladies, the line starts to the left.
This isn't to say Mario Chalmers isn't a good-looking bloke. But you have to admit this is like opening a bag of Doritos and finding a lone Ruffles chip in there.
It's a little jarring to the senses.
Hold your head high and shoot whichever shot you want, Mario. You are one of the 50 sexiest men in the country (if the list is broken up by state and you come from the one that houses roughly 15 men, none of which are famous).
California went to Adam Levine and not myself. I will go ahead and consider this a gross oversight and no real measure of my personal sexiness.
Follow me on Twitter because like Michelangelo, I'm a party dude.
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