Fantasy Football 2012: The Greatest Traditions
Fantasy football is a dear tradition to millions of red-blooded men everywhere.
However, traditions within leagues and cliques vary differently. Each league, it seems, thinks their practices are the best and subsequently love to brag about them. With fantasy football starting to heat up and new drafts happening every day, here is a collection of some of the best traditions I've heard...
Feel free to add some of your own in the comments section!
Vegas, Baby! Vegas.
Location is crucial for a fantasy football draft.
Vegas: the mecca for fantasy-playing men to host their fantasy football draft. I've heard a wide array of drafts taking place in Las Vegas—ranging from renting out penthouses, hiring showgirls to man the draft board and determining draft order through poker games.
Truly, the manliest of all traditions.
Can't do Vegas? Runner-up locations include: sports bars, man caves, Hooters.
The All-Important Draft
I've heard insane stories about leagues trying to replicate some of The League's ways to determine draft order which include racing through an airport security line and betting on a children's race.
Also, I've heard some rather far out and complicated ways though:
- Decided by NCAA March Madness brackets
- Chili cook off with random judges
- Guessing the correct amount of fallen change
I like the enthusiasm; however, I am not a fan of any method where someone can throw their draft position, because in many drafts, last pick is a pretty sought after.
UPDATE: Jim Johnson of the Baltimore Orioles told the MLB Network that his league, comprised of other Orioles including last year's winner Matt Wieters, decides their draft order in true Maryland fashion: racing crabs.
Though our draft is run fairly normally, we do have an awesome rule we call Daily Doubles. Each player submits two to three NFL players to be worth some gross food item. The players remain a mystery until someone drafts a person on the list and a bell rings. To the unsuspected owner, this moment is bittersweet—getting the player you were gunning for, but eating something unpleasant.
The NFL players chosen are completely up to the players in the league. Recently incarcerated players, people who hurt their owners a year before or simply the Raiders.
At any fantasy football draft, the previous winner and loser have an extra chip on their shoulder. Yes, I won my fantasy football league last year and it was amazing, but the glory of victory—as good as it feels—pales in comparison to the utter defeat of losing
Above is the banner we are having made to show the champions through the ages. Trust me, it feels GREAT to be the champion.
I've heard a slew of draft traditions involving the previous champion and loser. Here are my favorite:
- For new leagues, the winner gets to the name the champion and loser trophies
- The above picture is a mock up of a banner our league had made up for the champions. Every year a new name is added
- Get to pick an outfit for the loser to wear the following draft (opposing jerseys, toilet seat necklaces, chicken suits, etc.)
- Sit on a "throne" at the draft
- Choose the theme for team names
- Forced to buy the food and drinks at next years draft
- Automatically have the last pick in the draft
- Have to cook dinner for the winner
- Perform the Pledge of Allegiance before the draft
Weekly Winners and Losers
For head-to-head fantasy leagues, each week provides you with small victories (or losses). And when smack talk just won't cut it, some leagues have higher penalties.
- Loser makes a sandwich for the winner
- Monetary payouts
- In The League, the loser takes the winner out to a nice dinner
- Laundry and/or household chores
And my favorite of all, an unabashed Facebook ego-boost. This involves the loser posting a status praising the winner and how wonderful they are.
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