MLB's All-Awkward Team: Picking the Goofiest-Looking Players of All Time
As much as we fans love watching baseball, one thing we seem to love doing on top of that is commenting on certain players' appearances.
I don't know what it is, but the way some players look instantly turns some fans into a bunch of gossips whom I would imagine watch TMZ on a regular basis.
In one particular instance, while I was growing up, I remember how my dad would always refer to journeyman outfielder Otis Nixon as "Bony-Face" because of his...um...pronounced facial features.
Similarly, among today's generation of players, some of us like to make fun of Hunter Pence's ridiculous babyface and how young he looks despite the fact that he's pushing 30.
That said, I have decided to create another "all-time" team for your opinions and enjoyment. Now that I've taken another trip down Baseball History Drive, I present to you the All-Awkward team, be it goofy-looking players or guys who are just plain weird.
Catcher: Yogi Berra
Definitely weird-looking as a player, Berra has found himself as a fan favorite for his colorful sayings. Yet, despite being entertaining, the way his famous quotes are worded seems just a little bit off.
I can't do the man's words justice, so just check out this commercial he did a few years back. Then, you'll fully understand what I'm talking about.
First Base: Brett Wallace
Matthew Stockman/Getty Images
Well, it's not necessarily a bad thing. For all we know, he could be asking the ball to "squeal like a pig" each time he slugs it hard.
WARNING!! LATTER LINK COULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW
Second Base: Robinson Cano
I love Cano, but he's weird looking. Seriously, folks, each time I look at the man's face, I can't help but think that he looks like a giant bird.
Yet, I'm not going to knock him for being awkward-looking. Rather, how can he go on The Tonight Show, a program viewed by millions upon millions of people, go up against actor Denzel Washington in New York Yankees trivia....and LOSE?????
Shortstop: Mario Mendoza
photo credit of oosl.net
Well, now we know why Mendoza only hit .215 for his career. Instead of going to the AV Club as he originally planned, he must have shown up for baseball tryouts by accident!
Third Base: Mike Schmidt
Just listen to how creepily enticing Schmidt sounds in this commercial. To be honest, I don't think it would have the same effect if he didn't have that creepy porn 'stache...
On top of that, doesn't he look like he's enjoying beating the pickup truck with the bat a little TOO much??
Left Field: "Shoeless" Joe Jackson
photo courtesy of shoeless-joes.com
Well, I think the face says it all with this one. Don't you?
Center Field: Otis Nixon
Andy Lyons/Getty Images
It's too bad that Steve Urkel's parents were never seen on Family Matters, because Nixon could easily have played his father. From the skinny build to the just plain weird face, he could have had a phenomenal second career on the small screen!
Right Field: Hunter Pence
Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images
Poor Hunter Pence. Not only does he look like he's 14 years old, but he can never go back to Philadelphia again.
Thanks to his ridiculously lanky and awkward 6'4", 218 pound build, he had one of the biggest base running fails in baseball history not too long ago. Now I think we know why he was REALLY traded from the Phillies to the Giants...
Starting Pitcher: Pascual Perez
First off, Perez must have never received the memo that Jheri curl is, quite possibly, the worst hairstyle to ever grace the planet.
Yet, the hairstyle is probably what makes this interview so funny. Clearly, Perez doesn't understand French and his deer-in-the-headlights look throughout the clip just makes you feel bad for him.
Closer: Jonathan Papelbon
I know I'm going to tick off a lot of people who have man-crushes on the guy, but Jonathan Papelbon looks like someone you'd come across in prison and would make you his "plaything," for lack of better word. He just has this caveman look about him and though I love this commercial he did with Nick Swisher of the New York Yankees a year ago, just look at the All-Star closer in it.
Doesn't he look like he's enjoying the shave a bit TOO much?