Tuesday marks the dawning of a New Era (oh wait, that's the hats) in the National Football League, as Nike prepares to begin a five-year run as the official apparel manufacturer for the National Football League by unveiling new uniforms for all 32 NFL teams.
Aesthetic changes to the uniforms will likely be minor, and it's highly unlikely that any NFL club will receive the University of Oregon treatment, but that doesn't mean we can't channel Mr. Blackwell a bit by ranking all 32 uniforms, from the ugliest of the ugly to the team that will be the most nattily attired this fall.
The Seattle Seahawks appear to be the team that got the biggest makeover from Nike. I actually like the combination of blue and gray in the Seahawks uniforms, and they'll reportedly be sporting a gray alternate jersey in some home games this season.
However, neon green has about as much place in the National Football League as Rush Limbaugh did.
Bright side? If there's a power failure you can still see the swoosh.
The New York Jets could use the diversion of today's unveiling, if only so they could get five minutes of peace from the media circling the team like jackals since they acquired Tim Tebow.
Unfortunately, it appears that the diversion will be short-lived, and soon enough the Jets will be taking the field in more or less the same ugly uniforms as last year.
2012 will be the last season for the Jacksonville Jaguars in their teal home jerseys, as the team will be making the switch to black as their primary home color beginning in 2013.
That day can't come soon enough, as I've never been a fan of the Jaguars' teal attire.
The Arizona Cardinals are the oldest professional football team still in existence, and other than a 2005 update to the logo, their uniforms haven't changed a whole lot over the past century.
However, that may be part of the problem, as even with a "more aggressive" logo the Cardinals' helmets are still awfully plain and could use some spicing up.
I may well be in the minority on this, but the traditionalist in me longs for the days when the Bengals helmet was a simpler design.
I could just never wrap my head around the tiger stripes on the helmet and shoulders. It's just too...stripey.
The Kansas City Chiefs uniform has basically remained unchanged since the team was founded in 1960, with the same red and gold color scheme being present throughout the club's history.
Unfortunately, that same red and gold color scheme matches a certain fast food restaurant, and every time I watch a Chiefs game, I get a sudden craving for Chicken McNuggets.
I'll give the Baltimore Ravens credit for the use of black, which always looks good, but that's about all I can give them credit for.
Whether it's the purple jerseys or the less than intimidating logo, the Ravens, for all their success on the field, aren't winning any fashion contests with that outfit.
The Tennessee Titans have come a long way, both on the map and in their uniforms, since their days of powder blue jerseys and oil derricks as the Houston Oilers.
I like the two-tone blue look on the Titans uniforms, but the logo may be the worst in the National Football League.
If there has been a change to the Washington Redskins uniforms this season I don't see it, because it looks like the same ol' same ol' to me.
That's part of the problem though, as the Redskins are an NFL team that's in need of a face-lift and maybe even a new logo.
The Houston Texans uniforms remain mainly unchanged entering the 2012 season, as the team tries to build on the first playoff appearance in franchise history.
The Texans uniform and logo are fine, but that's really all I can say about them, and I'll confess that the red striping looks a little clunky to me.
The Colts horseshoe logo has been around for many, many years, but unfortunately the Colts spartan uniforms give that same impression...dated.
An overhaul doesn't appear to be coming to their uniforms this year either, although the roster is certainly receiving one.
The Dallas Cowboys uniforms may be the most recognizable in all of the NFL, so it's no surprise that Nike didn't tinker with it much.
That said, the fact that the blue on the jerseys doesn't match the navy on the helmets has always bugged me, and it continues to.
As a Browns fan, I love Cleveland's uniforms, but even I will freely admit that orange and brown is a color combination you don't see very often outside a group of duck hunters.
That said, I'm glad Nike didn't mess with it. Now if we can just get rid of those awful orange alternate jerseys.
The uniforms of the Buffalo Bills are fairly simple, which I actually like in this particular instance as I think it suits their color scheme of red, white and blue.
However, I'm one of the few people on earth who actually misses the red helmets that the team gave up last season, and that costs them a few spots in these rankings.
The Miami Dolphins get extra credit points for being able to pull off the teal jerseys, as while Jacksonville fails in that regard. For whatever reason, it looks better on South Beach.
However, the Dolphins logo is desperately in need of an upgrade, and until that happens their uniforms are mired in mediocrity.
The new uniforms for the San Diego Chargers look fine, but Nike and the Bolts missed out on a golden opportunity here.
If you're going to stick with the white helmets, why not also rock the powder blue jerseys? It would look better with the white than the navy ones do.
The Denver Broncos biggest change for the 2012 season is that they will be returning to orange as their primary color for home games.
I prefer the navy blue, but that has as much to do with three AFC Championship games in the 1980's that I don't like to talk about as any criticism of the uniform itself.
The San Francisco 49ers uniforms haven't changed a whole lot over the past 25 years, although the team has vacillated back and forth between red and burgundy jerseys.
If this photo is any indication, the team may have given up and just decided to go with both, as the socks appear to be a different shade than the jersey.
The St. Louis Rams have been playing in their current uniforms since 2000, when the team replaced yellow with gold as their secondary color following their victory in the Super Bowl.
The team hasn't sniffed getting that deep into the playoffs since their first season in the new threads, so at this point maybe they should have thought about switching back.
The New England Patriots have sported their present uniforms since 2003, and it appears that the Nike version is nearly identical to the Reebok one.
I'll confess that I'm not a fan of the shoulder stripes, but overall the Patriots uniforms look pretty good.
For decades, if you mentioned "Honolulu blue" to a diehard football fan the first two words out of their mouths would undoubtedly be "Detroit Lions", as the color and the team have been associated for years.
I'm not a huge fan of the color and actually think that the Lions could benefit from a modernization of their uniforms, but I can't really fault the team for sticking with tradition.
The jersey of the Philadelphia Eagles has undergone a number of tweaks over the years, with the most recent major change being the switch to "midnight green" in 1996.
It doesn't appear that outside some striping changes there's much of a difference in this year's getup, so the Eagles will remain a team whose uniforms I don't hate, but don't love either.
I can't say that I really have any problem with the Atlanta Falcons uniforms, as the color scheme and design are fine.
That said, there's a nostalgic part of me that yearns for the days of the red helmets, which I think would look great paired with either the red jersey or black alternate.
Other than cosmetic changes that included striping and the addition of the Viking logo to jersey sleeves, the purple and gold regalia of the Minnesota Vikings has remained basically unchanged since the team began play in 1961.
Some folks may not care for the color combination, but for whatever reason it's always worked for me.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers switched to their present uniforms in 1997 after two decades spent in the third circle of uniform hell.
Just about anything would have been an improvement over those monstrosities, and the club's current red and pewter design is pretty sharp.
The Panthers don't have the rich tradition of some NFL teams, but I'll admit that I've always been a fan of their color scheme of black, silver and blue.
It doesn't appear that much has changed other than a minor tweaking of the logo, and the all-black helmet that made the rounds on the Internet Monday is apparently either an alternate or a fake.
The New York Giants have one of the most simplistic and classic designs of all National Football League franchises, which may be why I like it so much.
The Giants were another team that Nike wasn't apt to tinker with much, although I'd like to see the old "GIANTS" helmets make a comeback, even if only in the occasional throwback game.
There may well be no team in the National Football League more steeped in tradition than the Green Bay Packers, and the team's fans likely would not have responded well to an overhaul of their uniform.
You may not be a huge fan of green and gold (yellow, whatever), but few helmets say "football" more than the yellow dome with the big "G" on the side.
There are few more iconic uniforms in the NFL than the black and gold of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and there's little to no chance that the blue-collar franchise will change it any time soon.
It pains me to say it, but that's for the best. There's no point in fixing what isn't broken.
Given that the Bears are one of the most storied franchises in the NFL and that their uniform hasn't changed much over the past half century, it's no big shock that their uniform remains the same, although it's strangely comforting nonetheless.
It's been a very rocky offseason for the New Orleans Saints, as a player bounty scandal has led to multiple suspensions and casted a cloud of doubt over the team.
However, the off-field distractions haven't taken away from how good the Saints look when they do take the field, as their black and gold uniforms are among the spiffiest in the NFL.
There are just some iconic looks in the National Football League that you just don't mess with, and the silver and black of the Oakland Raiders are one of them.
Besides, the last thing Phil Knight wants is the ghost of Al Davis banging around Nike's offices looking for someone to sue from beyond the grave.