Surely you've heard the speculation about Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow's name being mentioned for the next season of ABC's televised diabolical dating plague on humanity—better known as The Bachelor. Apparently the hubbub started as a joke by host Chris Harrison, but the story soon took on a life of its own.
And you thought Tebowmania would die in the offseason! Tebow was quick to dispel the rumors via a statement on Twitter. True to form, Tebow was funny and gracious about the whole stupid circus. He has a gift for saying just the right thing.
Obviously, it's not going to happen, but if it did there are plenty of new viewers who would tune in out of morbid curiosity. But Tebow doesn't actually have to appear on The Bachelor to know what would have happened, because every season of that living reality nightmare is exactly the same.
Having been a (very ashamed) regular viewer of the show for awhile, I can tell you exactly what would have happened had he agreed to participate in this national embarrassment.
Let's get started.