7 Reasons You Must Watch Kevin Durant's 'Thunderstruck' Movie

It may not be a big-budget summer blockbuster, but Kevin Durant's Thunderstruck (in theaters August 24) may be the next best thing for a basketball junkie with nothing to do for another couple of months.

You're probably thinking this kind of movie is below you, and you'd probably be right. But, you also have to admit there's something ever so delightful about watching basketball players take a shot at acting.

From Space Jam to Kazaam, the NBA's very best have a long and sordid history acting like actors, and Durant is the next victim of Hollywood's favorite practical joke.

We probably won't really know if we're laughing with KD or at him, but we owe it to him to find out. In the film, Durant magically trades his superstar talent to a 16-year-old ball boy and in turn acquires said 16-year-old's horrible skills.

Yes, it's the plot that keeps on giving.

The Miami Heat have reportedly signed this fictional ball boy and will have him on retainer until the NBA Finals roll around once again.

But, in all seriousness (because how can you take a tour de force like this lightly?), here's the authoritative argument for going to see this movie.

You Have Nothing Better to Do

There won't be another NBA game until October 30, and you have just about another month until NBA 2K13 comes out on X-Box and Playstation. You can't even wait around for Dwight Howard to be traded anymore.

The basketball universe has screeched to a numbingly boring halt. When the biggest news of the day involves former Sacramento King Donte Greene signing with the Brooklyn Nets, you know it's time to abandon non-fiction and say hello to a ridiculous premise that will make you forget all about the personal problems LeBron James knows you have.

So really, what else are you going to do with yourself? If it involves the word "productive," just stop.

It's the weekend!

It Sounds Hilarious

The thought of Kevin Durant becoming a terrible shooter and bringing the world to its knees in utter confusion is pretty funny.

C'mon, admit it.

Sure, it won't be nearly as funny as Semi-Pro, but there will never be another Jackie Moon. That's like hoping for another MJ.

And, look at it this way: When will you ever have an opportunity to watch KD miss so many shots? Lakers and Spurs fans should attend this film in droves and use it as a collective healing experience. If only Durant had met this kid before the 2012 Western Conference playoffs.

We could all use a good laugh right about now. After honing his craft with the hilarity that was the epic "Doodle Jump" commercial, Durant is surely ready to test his comedic chops in a full-length film.

It can't be that hard, right?

Good Family Fun

It's hard to find a movie you can take the kids to these days. That means you've either avoided having such kids in the first place, have to find somewhere safe to put them while you go out on the town...or you have to suck it up and take them to a movie you really don't want to see. 

Movies like Thunderstruck are the training wheels parents depend upon. It's not animated, and it doesn't have talking animals, so the kids that have outgrown all that nonsense will be thrilled to watch a movie with real people in it.

At the same time, something tells me this PG flick won't be riddled with sex, drugs, profanity and gratuitous violence.

While I agree with you that all of those things would have made this movie exponentially more awesome, we have to remember the children.

They are our future.

NBA Cameos Never Get Old

Remember 1996's Eddie starring Whoopie Goldberg?

Of course you do.

It ranks right behind The Natural, Field of Dreams and Moneyball among the all-time great sports films, and that's why it got an average of 4.7 out of 10 stars from IMDB users, 4,657 of whom inexplicably took the time to rate this movie.

What made Eddie so "good"?

The basketball cameos, of course! For some reason, seeing people play themselves in movies is entertaining. Never mind that you're probably used to watching those very same people on television. They're exponentially more interesting to watch when you don't expect them.

The Shaq-Chuck exchanges in Thunderstruck look to be classic. 

Kevin Durant Needs the Money

Kevin Durant may have made $24.5 million last season between his contract with the Thunder and various endorsements, but he still made less money than Amar'e Stoudemire.

That is unacceptable.

In these difficult economic times, it's not uncommon for some to take on a second or third job in order to maintain a certain standard of living. We all saw it happen to Michael Scott, who eventually started working at a call center when he wasn't managing Dunder Mifflin.

So, we shouldn't be surprised that KD himself has had to take on a third gig. When he's not playing basketball and filming commercials in which he's usually playing basketball, now he's made a movie that probably required him to play even more basketball.

All just to get by.

The Novelty of It All

Novelty is a powerful thing.

It is, for example, the only reason anyone thinks James Harden's beard is cool. Deep down, we all know it's actually not cool. But, hopefully so does Harden. That's why we can all join together in pretending something is cool, when in fact it's really just kind of random and bizarre.

"Random and bizarre" are also words you could use when describing Thunderstruck.

As the St. Paul Pioneer Press' Chris Hewitt puts it:

"

"Thunderstruck" isn't especially funny or exciting, and its muddled lesson is about as convincing as Marv Albert's luxuriant russet wig. But it's not terrible. It's just so indistinct that afterward, all I could remember was the movies it burgled.

"

You hear that?

"Not terrible."

If you were expecting it to be "funny or exciting," well you're in the wrong business. At the end of the day, seeing this movie isn't really about enjoying it. It's about being able to say that you saw it. One day, you'll thank yourself.

Even if it's not the day you actually paid money to see Thunderstruck.

You Have to Have a Free Movie Pass Lying Around Somewhere

Granted, you're probably already convinced you should see Thunderstruck after the litany of compelling, airtight arguments with which you've been presented.

I've even convinced myself.

But, you might not be sold just yet. You might even be thinking, "For the amount of money I spend at the movies on tickets, popcorn and soda, I could put one of my kids through a whole year of college." And, you're probably right about that, give or take a few thousand dollars.

It's even harder to justify a movie outing when it's so easy to watch them at home a couple of months later.

That's where the free movie pass comes in.

Don't have one? Keep looking. It's there somewhere, probably buried under some stuff.