Liverpool's 2013/14 Away Kit and the 20 Ugliest Shirts This Century
This week Liverpool FC unveiled their away kit for the upcoming 2013/14 season and, by the looks of it, it must have been designed by an Everton or Manchester United fan.
Even Liverpool fans have been slating the kit that looks like it's based on a screenshot from a smashed-up Nokia 3210.
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers, however, doesn't think the kit's as bad as the seeing world thinks it is (or at least he isn't allowed to say that he thinks it is). According to the Daily Mail, Rodgers says:
"The fact that glimpses of the club’s history appear in this kit is a really nice touch from Warrior."
We can only assume that he means it captures Liverpool's history by starting off quite bright, but ends up shattering into darkness.
We've all laughed at the ugly strips of the 70s, 80s and 90s, like Hull City's tacky tiger print kit, Manchester United's "invisible" kit or Steve Bruce's face, but kit manufacturers haven't learned their lesson, as demonstrated by Liverpool's latest hate crime of an away kit.
So in this article, we're bringing you the 20 worst football kits since the turn of the century.
20. Cameroon 2002
This is the lesser of 20 evils, because it actually does have the potential to not be a bad shirt. There's nothing wrong with what's there.
It's what isn't there that's the issue. It was missing sleeves.
Nobody likes that guy who wears sleeveless tops socially and nobody likes that team who wear sleeveless tops in international football matches. Especially FIFA.
This kit has the dishonor of being banned. Cameroon were told by FIFA that they weren't allowed to wear the sleeveless kit for the 2002 Japan and South Korea World Cup.
19. Cameroon 2004
If it wasn't for Samuel Eto'o, Cameroon's greatest impact on the footballing world would be really dodgy kits.
Again it's not the color scheme, or placement of badges that we object to in this kit.
It's the fact that it's:
a) Skintight—which might be OK for a strapping winger, but for your average out-of-shape fan—not a good look.
b) All-in-one. The shorts and shirts were attached. It was basically football's answer to a onesie.
Once again, FIFA wasn't happy, claiming the strip breached the regulations on kits. Never mind goal-line technology, all they seem to be doing at FIFA is worrying about what Cameroon will wear.
18. Manchester United 2012/13
Football kits should look like football kits. Not shortbread wrappers.
Manchester United fans can be quite defensive of their tartan kit as it is said to be in honor of their retiring Scottish manager, Sir Alex Ferguson. But there are better ways for them to honor the great manager than ugly kits.
Like chewing gum or checking your watch or not speaking to the BBC.
17. Reading 2007/08
Grey and black.
It just makes you feel a little empty inside, doesn't it?
This rates quite low because it isn't hideous. Just enough to bring on a bout of depression.
16. Braga 2012/13
This kit is another one that doesn't feature that highly, because it's not in-your-face hideous. It's just smouldering, swampy, hideous.
If hangovers were football kits, they would be this Braga, snot-green, away shirt.
15. Olympique Marseille 2013/14
Don't worry, Liverpool, you're not the only club realizing a terrible away kit for next season.
Marseille have decided to release a denim kit.
A denim kit.
We don't feel like you're getting this. Denim.
It even has a jean style pocket on the right-hand side of the chest.
And you thought signing Joey Barton on a permanent deal would be the worst thing Marseille could do this season.
14. Fulham 2010/11
Fulham's third kit in the 2010/11 season was a dire number, even for a club who were formerly sponsored by PizzaHut.
It embodied the spirit of old bits of copper that have been at the bottom of a pond for a few years.
13.Recreativo De Huelva 2012/13
We've heard of football clubs being called "a right Micky Mouse outfit." But last season's Recreativo de Huelva was a right Minnie Mouse outfit.
Fans of the Spanish Segunda Division club hated the hummel abomination so much, they even organized a protest rally in disgust.
12. Olympique Lyonnais 2008/09
The last time Lyon won Ligue 1 was the 2007/08 season.
In the 2008/09 season they chose this Umbro number, which looks like it should be worn on a building site, and they haven't won the league since.
11. Everton 2010/11
Have you ever looked at one of those fluorescent pink highlighter pens and thought "I wish I could wear that."
Well someone who was involved in the design of Everton's 2010/11 Le Coq Sportif away kit had.
It's a bad kit if you don't like garishness, but good if you rate high-visibility in the dark.
10. Athletic Bilbao 2003/04
For Athletic Bilbao's centenary in 2004, the club commissioned a local artist, Dario Urzay, to design their home kit.
Urzay was obviously inspired by a spillage at a blood donation bank.
9. Sheffield Wednesday 2002/03
In the 1990s the mere mention of the name "Kevin Pressman" shook every striker in English football with fear.
However, in 2002/03 it was his goalkeeper kit at Sheffield Wednesday that not only scared forwards, but it made them want to vomit uncontrollably.
It definitely doesn't inspire you to want a Chupa Chups, just a glass of water and a sit-down.
8. Reggina Calcio 2012
Serie B side Reggina Calcio commissioned this kit especially for a game in the 2011/12 season against rivals Crotone.
The kit was intended to make the players look like ancient Greek statues. Due to them being powerful and muscular-looking, not to signify their lack of movement on the pitch.
7. Newcastle United 2009/10
It wasn't easy for the former Premier League high-flyers to spend the 2009/10 season in The Championship, and adidas didn't make it any easier by giving them a kit that was in the color of what can only be described as a vanilla ice cream and urine cocktail.
We don't even think Premier League badges on the sleeves would have made it any better for the Toon Army faithful.
6. Barcelona 2012/13
For last season's away kit, Spanish giants Barcelona seemed to wear a kit that was in homage to Microsoft Word's WordArt feature.
This is surely the most 90s-looking thing outside of the 90s.
5. Derby County 2012/13
Championship side Derby County's third kit this season looked more like something you'd see in the Tour de France than a football kit.
If the bright blue, skintight kit wasn't bad enough. The giant sponsorship ripping at your face and trying to get you to "buy mobiles" just caps this off as comprehensively hideous attire.
4. Partick Thistle 2009/10
Unless you're involved in actual warfare, camouflage is never a good look. Just ask Mario Balotelli's Bentley.
But pink camouflage? On a football kit?
It must take an inherently evil mind to think that up.
We're still not sure in what battle-zone situation you would need pink, grey and black camouflage? Paris Hilton's bedroom?
3. Shimizu S-Pulse 2011
Japanese J-League side Shimizu S-Pulse have a long and rich history of difficult-to-look-at kits.
But this 2011 effort, inspired by an atlas carved into a butternut squash, is particularly strenuous on the retinas. A blue text and number here, a black, red and grey logo there.
There have been paint factory explosions that have had more refined color schemes.
2. York City 2002/03
We have to apologize for the picture quality, but there aren't many pictures available of York City's home kit for the 2002/03 Division Three season.
That's probably because everyone tried to burn any evidence that it ever existed.
If the red kit with a giant white "Y" wasn't bad enough, the right sleeve (just the right not the left) in black and white checks, like a racing flag, really makes this a visual disaster.
There's more going on in this kit than there is in New York City during rush hour.
1. Jaguares De Chiapas 2001
We are all aware of the horrible Hull City 1992 tiger print kit.
Well, don't think animal print clothing was something consigned to the 90s and the English county of Essex.
Mexican club Jaguares de Chiapas went one better and not only had a jaguar print kit, but stuck a bit of old jaguar head in there too...
...with sponsorship from a company with "BIMBO" in the title the cherry on the completely inedible and probably toxic cake.
This has to be the ugliest football kit of the 21st century.