50 Greatest Golf Quotes of All Time
There is an old adage about sports writing that goes something like this: The smaller the ball, the better the writing.
When you have one of the oldest sports of all-time—if not the oldest—you get a lot of time for some truly great quotes.
There have been some fascinating characters in the world of golf over the years. From Old Tom Morris, to Walter Hagan, to Arnold Palmer; the sport has had its share of interesting ambassadors.
The thing about golf is that you don't have to be a professional golfer to love the game.
In the next 50 slides you'll find quotes from authors, actors, comedians, presidents and even a king, among others.
Winston Churchill
1 of 50
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."
John Updike
2 of 50
"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five."
Arnold Palmer
3 of 50
"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: It's called an eraser."
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Ted Ray
4 of 50
"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I can't play it."
P.J. O'Rourke
5 of 50
"Golf combines two favorite American pastimes; taking long walks and hitting things with a stick."
Unknown Author
6 of 50
"When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit."
Bob Ryan
7 of 50
"A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand and water."
Pete Dye
8 of 50
"The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top."
Lee Trevino
9 of 50
"If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron."
Gerald Ford
10 of 50
"I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators."
Lee Trevino
11 of 50
"My swing is so bad, I look like a caveman killing his lunch."
Tommy Armour
12 of 50
"Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result."
Paul Harvey
13 of 50
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five."
Chi Chi Rodriguez
14 of 50
"Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off."
Bruce Lansky
15 of 50
"On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied."
Mark Twain
16 of 50
"It is good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling."
Billy Graham
17 of 50
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
Bob Hope
18 of 50
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."
King George V
19 of 50
"Golf always makes me so damned angry."
Although King George V is not shown in the photo, we thought a picture of fellow-countryman Lee Westwood would be a nice alternative.
Ray Floyd
20 of 50
"They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken."
Gary Player
21 of 50
"The more I practice, the luckier I get."
Chi Chi Rodriguez
22 of 50
"I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English."
Ben Hogan
23 of 50
"The most important shot in golf is the next one."
Lee Trevino
24 of 50
"The older I get, the better I used to be."
Arnold Palmer
25 of 50
"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger."
Heywood Hale Broun
26 of 50
"Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitude's of measurements, it invites the attention of perfectionists."
Bob Hope
27 of 50
"Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?"
Fred Funk taking a little rest in the photo.
Percey Boomer
28 of 50
"If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf."
Ian Poulter in the photo, a golfer who definitely wears his emotions on his sleeve.
Unknown Author
29 of 50
"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle."
Sergio Garcia with one of those occasional miracles.
David Brenner
30 of 50
"I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering."
Harry Vardon
31 of 50
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty."
John Updike
32 of 50
"The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things."
Tiger Woods shown in photo, who has been trying to unload his suitcase of late as he reinvents his swing.
Dave Marr
33 of 50
"Golf's three ugliest words: Still your shot."
A not-so-happy Darren Clarke in the photo.
Jack Nicklaus
34 of 50
"The older you get, the stronger the wind gets; and it's always in your face."
Bobby Jones
35 of 50
"I never learned anything from a match that I won."
Patty Berg
36 of 50
"The more you play it, the less you know about it."
William Wordsworth
37 of 50
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
Paula Creamer in the photo.
Sam Snead
38 of 50
"If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death."
Unknown Author
39 of 50
"Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic."
Martha Beckman
40 of 50
"Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible for a hole in one."
Bernhard Langer in the photo.
Unkown Author
41 of 50
"Golf is life. If you can't take golf, you can't take life."
Anna Rawson in photo.
Old Tom Morris
42 of 50
"We were all born with webbed feet and a golf club in our hand." (Referring to people born on the east coast of Scotland.)
John Daly
43 of 50
"I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein."
Carl Spackler
44 of 50
"Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me and up and throw away the key."
Chris Perry
45 of 50
"The worst club in my bag is my brain."
Jack Benny
46 of 50
"Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf."
Robert Lynd
47 of 50
"It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf."
Horace G. Hutchinson
48 of 50
"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."
Peter Hanson in the photo, trying to reshape his putter.
Jack Nicklaus
49 of 50
"I think I fail a bit less than everyone else."
Mark Twain
50 of 50
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
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