50 Greatest Golf Quotes of All Time
There is an old adage about sports writing that goes something like this: The smaller the ball, the better the writing.
When you have one of the oldest sports of all-time—if not the oldest—you get a lot of time for some truly great quotes.
There have been some fascinating characters in the world of golf over the years. From Old Tom Morris, to Walter Hagan, to Arnold Palmer; the sport has had its share of interesting ambassadors.
The thing about golf is that you don't have to be a professional golfer to love the game.
In the next 50 slides you'll find quotes from authors, actors, comedians, presidents and even a king, among others.
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."
"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five."
"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: It's called an eraser."
"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I can't play it."
"Golf combines two favorite American pastimes; taking long walks and hitting things with a stick."
"When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit."
"A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand and water."
"The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top."
"If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron."
"I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators."
"My swing is so bad, I look like a caveman killing his lunch."
"Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result."
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five."
Chi Chi Rodriguez
"Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off."
"On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied."
"It is good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling."
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."
King George V
"Golf always makes me so damned angry."
Although King George V is not shown in the photo, we thought a picture of fellow-countryman Lee Westwood would be a nice alternative.
"They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken."
"The more I practice, the luckier I get."
Chi Chi Rodriguez
"I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English."
"The most important shot in golf is the next one."
"The older I get, the better I used to be."
"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger."
Heywood Hale Broun
"Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitude's of measurements, it invites the attention of perfectionists."
"Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?"
Fred Funk taking a little rest in the photo.
"If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf."
Ian Poulter in the photo, a golfer who definitely wears his emotions on his sleeve.
"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle."
Sergio Garcia with one of those occasional miracles.
"I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering."
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty."
"The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things."
Tiger Woods shown in photo, who has been trying to unload his suitcase of late as he reinvents his swing.
"Golf's three ugliest words: Still your shot."
A not-so-happy Darren Clarke in the photo.
"The older you get, the stronger the wind gets; and it's always in your face."
"I never learned anything from a match that I won."
"The more you play it, the less you know about it."
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
Paula Creamer in the photo.
"If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death."
"Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic."
"Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible for a hole in one."
Bernhard Langer in the photo.
"Golf is life. If you can't take golf, you can't take life."
Anna Rawson in photo.
Old Tom Morris
"We were all born with webbed feet and a golf club in our hand." (Referring to people born on the east coast of Scotland.)
"I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me and up and throw away the key."
"The worst club in my bag is my brain."
"Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf."
"It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf."
Horace G. Hutchinson
"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."
Peter Hanson in the photo, trying to reshape his putter.
"I think I fail a bit less than everyone else."
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."