We haven't heard enough from Diego Maradona lately.
Sure, the other day he lashed out at a fellow coach in the Middle East. But that's small potatoes.
When D10S is publicly melting down, all of our lives are much more entertaining.
That's why we thought we'd put together a list of Diego's most ridiculous moments of all time. After reading these, you'll feel much better about everything.
We guarantee it.
Maradona served as Argentina's manager during qualification for World Cup 2010, as well as during the final tournament.
Much of this slideshow comes from his tenure.
This is the first of many outrageous moments we'll share from Maradona's time as Argentina's coach. It won't be the most ridiculous.
If you're wondering, it's ridiculous because of the fake German accent Maradona uses at the end. Hint: It's not meant as flattery.
Yeah, Diego? Thomas Müller is not a ballboy.
Next time, it might be good to actually know who you're playing. That way, you might avoid a blowout at the hands of the Germans.
Look at that face!
Here's the background: In an Argentina training session before the 2010 World Cup, Maradona let the winners of a game shoot at the losers.
He joined in with the losers.
Maradona ripped UEFA chief and former French legend Michel Platini during the World Cup.
His screed went something like this: "We all know how the French are, and Platini is French, and he believes he is better than rest."
Uh, OK, Diego.
From that same article, we get this famous gem:
Pele should "go back to the museum."
Pele and Maradona have had a difficult relationship through the years, which is understandable considering they're the two best players—and possibly have the biggest egos—of all time.
But this one was over the line.
A few years ago, after Pele criticized Maradona's coaching skills, Maradona responded with this stunner:
"What do you want me to say? He debuted (lost his virginity) with a lad (a man)."
That's really none of Maradona's business, and it comes off as a bit homophobic.
Argentina had a tough time qualifying for the 2010 World Cup.
After they finally did, this is how Maradona addressed his critics.
Say what you will: It was wildly entertaining.
During that difficult World Cup qualifying campaign, Argentina grabbed a dramatic win over Peru thanks to a late, late winner from Martin Palermo.
After the winning goal, Maradona belly-flopped across the pitch in a moment of pure joy.
Sliding on the rainy pitch made this next one actually seem possible.
In the weeks before the 2010 World Cup, Maradona promised/threatened to run through the streets of Buenos Aires naked if his team won it all.
Thankfully (or not?) it didn't happen.
Right before he announced his roster for the 2010 World Cup, Maradona ran over the foot of a journalist.
Look at that stretcher! That guy must be practicing his dives for the pub league.
These days, Maradona coaches Al Wasl, a nouveau-riche club based in Dubai.
He still brings the crazy, as this clip shows.
Let's get back to Argentina's 2010 World Cup campaign.
For that campaign, Maradona surprised just about everyone in the world by selecting Ariel Garce, best described as a 30-year-old journeyman defender.
Garce had been capped only twice (in 2003) before his selection to the World Cup squad, and he didn't make it into any games in South Africa.
So why did Maradona pick him?
Apparently a dream was prominently involved.
This isn't ridiculous as much as it is really, really cool.
Maradona, not surprisingly, allowed his players to have sex during the World Cup.
Speaking of sex, Maradona had this to say about being a father.
"My legitimate kids are Dalma and Giannina. The rest are a product of my money and mistakes."
You stay classy, (San) Diego.
Back in 1998, Maradona earned a suspended sentence of two years and 10 months in jail.
The offense? Shooting at journalists.
In 1991, Italy's football authorities fined Maradona the equivalent of $70,000 for various offenses.
What's not mentioned in the story is that the misbehavior had a lot to do with Maradona's growing cocaine habit.
For his trouble, Maradona earned a 15-month ban.
It wasn't the last time cocaine came up with Maradona.
Maradona played two games at the 1994 World Cup in the United States.
The picture you see is from his celebration of a goal.
If Maradona looks like a crazy dope-fiend, that's because he was a crazy dope-fiend. His use of ephedrine, a performance-enhancing drug, got him kicked out of the tournament.
Years later, Maradona claimed he had a deal with FIFA, on which the organization later reneged, that allowed him to take the drugs legally.
In December 2000, Maradona won an online fan vote for FIFA's player of the century.
The organization later decided it would present trophies to both Maradona and Pele in a single ceremony.
At the ceremony, Maradona accepted his award and left before Pele got his.
Maradona was already plump as a player. After retirement, he became obese.
He had gastric bypass surgery in 2005 and supplemented it with a crazy diet of liquid food.
Nobody liked the Jabulani at last year's World Cup.
Except that he actually did.
Just watch the video.
You've seen it a thousand times. Later, Maradona would say this about the controversial goal:
“The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, a little by the head of Maradona.”
So, who does Maradona think God is?
You know how bad can sometimes mean good?
That's the kind of ridiculous we're talking about here.