El Clasico, FC Barcelona vs. Real Madrid: Will the Empire Strike Back?

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El Clasico, FC Barcelona vs. Real Madrid: Will the Empire Strike Back?
Jasper Juinen/Getty Images

Some liked it, some didn’t, either way I simply don’t care. Here’s the sequel to my Star Wars themed FC Barcelona/Real Madrid series. Although I do hope that George Lucas doesn’t sue me.

Last week the imperial troops, led by Jango Fett (Emanuel Adebayor) all but squashed the uprising from the Ewoks (Tottenham Hotspurs).

While the Ewoks infantry could count on the services of deflected Empire trooper Rafael van der Vaart, their quest for glory was dealt a serious blow.

To overcome their four goal deficit, the brave rebels must not only defend well but also attack in equal measure. One has to wonder whether or not they can accomplish this task without the use of the “dark force."

Even when the Empire chooses to rest their imperial guard, there’s an epic clash with FC Barcelona this weekend. It can still count on the services of General Grievous (Kaka) amongst others.

While the Tottenham resources are stretched to the maximum, the coffers of the Empire are apparently so steep that it can easily afford to field two full-strength battalions at any given time.

One can only feel sorry for Tottenham; just as they were announcing themselves as the fourth force in English football, their ambitions are/will be derailed by an evil competitor, the Trade Federation (Manchester City).

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The Trade Federation’s treasury is even more filled than that of the Empire! But whereas the Federation holds the financial advantage, the Empire offers the lure of the “dark force," sometimes even both.

Nevertheless, the Jedi Knights (FC Barcelona) are well-positioned to deliver the final blow in not just one, but three different fronts.

The Jedi, however, must fight the first of four (possibly) battles against the Empire deep behind enemy lines, in the fortress of Evil aka the Santiago Bernabeu.

It would be foolish to assume that Darth Vader (Jose Mourinho) would allow his troops to get ambushed by the Jedi juggernaut again. Even though Darth Vader is Emperor Palpatine’s (Florentino Perez) prized pupil, no one’s is safe from Darth Sidious' wrath. Another (embarrassing) defeat, especially in the heart of the Empire would almost certainly guarantee Darth Vader’s marching orders.

After all, the Empire has a self-perception of greatness and the complimentary illusions of grandeur; two years of lurking in the shadows of Obi Wan Kenobi and his Jedi are just about enough.

Besides, Count Dooku (Jorge Valdano) is still waiting and scheming to regain the favor of Emperor Palpatine.

Once again, if you aren’t into Star Wars, lack humor or the serious type—this is not for you. For the Prequel click here.

Check out Barca Blaugranes and follow me on twitter.

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