Arsenal vs. Barcelona at Camp Nou: 5 Stunning Second Leg Rumors
Tomorrow’s Arselona Super Clash decides the fate of each club’s season.
For Barcelona, advancing means the opportunity to win La Liga and the Champions League, among other things.
For Arsenal, advancing means the opportunity to end its trophy drought, and possibly go on to a double.
The fate of each team will be decided by the tactics it employs. Here are five things to expect from the match.
Experts believe that both teams will pass.
Apparently, this strategy helps move the ball up and down the pitch and will prove integral in the upcoming Super Clash.
If the rumors are to be believed, Arsenal will try its best to pass the ball toward Barcelona’s goal, while Barcelona will attempt to pass the ball toward Arsenal’s game.
Players are expected to use their feet to do so.
Rumors are afoot that players on both teams will employ a controversial tactic known as “diving.” This entails throwing oneself to the pitch and feigning injury in a crass attempt to draw a penalty.
Diving is particularly popular in the Iberian Peninsula. Some radical reports go so far as to suggest that Iberian footballers like Cristiano Ronaldo and Cesc Fabregas receive training from professional actors to perfect realism in their dives.
Agonized wails and desperate pleas to God, Jesus, the Virgin, the mother of the fallen player and the goddess Mari are common verbal accoutrements in the art of diving.
Players dive as much as possible in the penalty area. If successful, these dives—often referred to as cheating – result in penalty kicks.
Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola and Arsenal gaffer Arséne Wenger are card-carrying members of the International Higher Council of Accredited Ninjas, Contemporary Professions Division.
These men are known for their supreme ninja approach to football matches. The upcoming match at Camp Nou will prove especially ninja esque, as each will be dying to out ninja the other.
Passing is expected to figure prominently into this ninja strategy. Each team is expected to pass the ball in such a way that the other team will have a difficult time getting it. These passes will hopefully lead to goals.
Insiders report that both Arsenal and Barcelona players will wear uniforms for Tuesday’s match.
They will not appear naked nor will they appear in street clothes. Rather, they will all appear in jerseys, smart little shorts, socks and football boots.
According to these insiders, Arsenal’s uniforms will be the color of freshly regurgitated mustard.
Barcelona’s uniforms will look like your colorblind uncle’s Christmas sweater.
Unorthodox though it may be, Pep Guardiola will field Argentine Leo Messi on Tuesday.
Messi’s contributions to Barcelona have been negligible. Because of this, Wenger may not expect Guardiola to field Messi. Thus by fielding Messi, Guardiola may attempt to out ninja his nemesis.
Messi proved particularly useless in Arsenal’s victory over Barcelona at the Camp Nou last year. However, reports indicate that he has been training tirelessly since that unfortunate performance and is ready to make amends to the Barcelona faithful.