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Arsenal vs. Manchester United: Simulating Premier League Tie Using FIFA 14

Arsenal's Santi Cazorla raises his arms as his team is beaten 5-1 by Liverpool during their English Premier League soccer match at Anfield Stadium, Liverpool, England, Saturday Feb. 8, 2014. (AP Photo/Jon Super)
Jon Super/Associated Press
Nick AkermanFeatured Columnist IVDecember 17, 2016

Arsenal and Manchester United fans will be fearing the worst heading into the Emirates clash on Feb. 12.

The Gunners, fresh from their 5-1 humiliation against Liverpool, need three points to continue their charge for the Premier League title. United arrive after yet another abysmal result, this time coming in the form of a 2-2 draw against Fulham, and they need a positive score to keep their hopes of fourth place burningjust about.

While the away supporters' sense of dread is certainly justified, hope can be taken from United's 1-0 win over Arsenal earlier in the season.

We excitedly decided to simulate the match using FIFA 14, but boy, did we make a mistake.

Matt Dunham/Associated Press

 

Arsenal vs. Manchester United: FIFA 14 Highlights

1'Decent start from Arsenal, who control possession and slowly move forward.

22'Smart play on the edge of United's area sees Mesut Ozil flash a shot at David de Gea's goal. The Spaniard meets a powerful strike with a smart save.

40'No action to report whatsoever. United barely exit their half, while Arsenal look content to keep the ball without threatening.

HALF-TIME: Arsenal 0-0 Manchester United

55'More of the same in the second half. United make a rare journey into Arsenal's box, but Ashley Young's weak effort drifts wide.

67'This is a terrible, terrible (virtual) game of football. Jack Wilshere, Ozil and Santi Cazorla set up a tea party on the halfway line and tell the rest of their teammates they aren't allowed to play.

Jon Super/Associated Press

79'A digital pigeon has just flown into the Clock End. Probably. Elsewhere, the writer of this article can be heard screaming from afar.

85'Lukas Podolski meets a Cazorla cross, but he nods the ball softly into De Gea's hands. That was kind of the German.

FULL-TIME: Arsenal 0-0 Manchester United

LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 18:  Mesut Ozil of Arsenal in action during the Barclays Premier League match between Arsenal and Fulham at Emirates Stadium on January 18, 2014 in London, England.  (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
Clive Mason/Getty Images

Now, usually when there's a lack of action I would bring you a highlights video from the entire game. Unfortunately, Ozil's first half shot was the only moment of note throughout. Join me in weeping, please.

Instead of overrated videos (who needs them?), here's a selection of statistics to drill home the tedium.

Arsenal vs. Manchester United Match Statistics
ArsenalManchester United
0Goals0
4Shots2
3Shots on Target0
59%Possession %41%
0Yellow Cards0
0Red Cards0
0Offsides0
2Corners0
FIFA 14

Skybet currently offer 10/1 for a 0-0 draw, but will you take it? Let us know your comments below.

P.S.—Apologies for an abysmal sim.

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