The English Premier League's 5 Job Swaps That Have to Happen

Charles LawleyContributor IFebruary 22, 2013

The English Premier League's 5 Job Swaps That Have to Happen

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    Reports claim that Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho and Paris Saint-Germain manager Carlo Ancelotti are due to undertake a job swap in the summer.

    The alleged agreement will apparently see Ancelotti as the Bernabeu boss and Mourinho as the PSG manager.

    Below is a list of other football job swaps I feel need to happen in the Premier League.

5) Roman Abramovich and Roberto Di Matteo

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    Something Carlo Ancelotti and Jose Mourinho both have in common is they have both joined the unemployment line at the hands of Roman Abramovich.

    In fact, at this rate, by 2040 13 percent of the Earth’s population will have been fired by Abramovich.

    Roberto Di Matteo is the latest casualty of Abramovich’s vendetta against anyone who claims to be a football manager.

    It seems Abramovich loves firing managers so much. It is only a matter of time before he starts hiring joint-managers to control Chelsea so he can fire two at a time.

    The first football job swap to happen should be Matteo becoming the billionaire owner of Chelsea, a club that he loves, This would put Roman out of a job.

4) Arsene Wenger and Roberto Mancini

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    Both Arsene Wenger and Roberto Machini are two managers facing pressure from the media and fan bases alike. But, both Wenger and Macini are two managers who virtually every other club in world football would welcome with open arms.

    So, to relieve the pressure on both of them, why don't they swap jobs? Is there a Manchester City fan that wouldn’t want Wenger as manager?

    Equally, is there an Arsenal fan that wouldn’t mind Mancini being Wenger’s replacement?

    Everyone’s happy! Apart from Wenger, who has never smiled.

3) David Moyes and Pep Guardiola

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    For all his fantastic work on a shoestring at Everton, David Moyes deserves a chance at a big club with good resources and world class players. And after 11 years of continuous loyal service to Everton, he deserves some time off.

    Give Moyes the rest of the season off and, in the summer, he can take the reigns of Bayern Munich. Moyesy has done his time with the likes of Per Kroldrup and Alessandro Pistone and has earned the right to have Robben, Gomez, Schweinsteiger, Ribery, et al. playing for him.

    Equally, after decades of being in Liverpool’s shadow, Everton deserve to clearly break ahead of their neighbours and become the top dog on Merseyside by mounting a serious title challenge. The best man for that job has to be Pep Guardiola.

    And for all his plus points, Moyes isn’t the easiest manager. After over a decade of an angry looking Scotsman in the dugout, the Toffees deserve a suave Spaniard in a suit and a 5 o’clock shadow pacing the Goodison Park touchline.

2) Christian Benteke and Corporal Luis Fernandez (Pele)

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    For those of you who aren’t aware of the 1981 film Escape To Victory, it is a film about a group of Allied prisoners of war who play a game of football against their Nazi prison guards.

    The film stars footballing greats like Pele, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles who play in the prisoners' team. With Pele playing the part of Trinidad and Tobago corporal, Luis Fernandez.

    I think we would all like to see a monster like the 6’3” Christian Benteke terrorizing a backline full of Nazis. 

    And having Pele leading the line for Aston Villa could possibly bolster their fight against relegation this season.

1) Harry Redknapp and Kanye West

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    Queens Park Rangers have very generous resources with the world’s 21st richest man Lakshmi Mittal owning a 34 percent stake.

    If relegation is going to happen, why bother spending it on trying to prolong the inevitable drop when the money can be spent on other, more hilarious, areas?

    Step forward, Kanye West.

    West is a man who is ridiculous enough to spend money on getting diamond teeth–imagine what he’d do to a Premiership football club. Strippers dressed like airline pilots serving Cristal champagne to all the fans at halftime, a helicopter landing pad on the roof of the South Africa Road stand made entirely from platinum and swagger, anything is possible.

    Also Loftus Road is just down the road from Westfield London—one of Europe’s largest shopping centers, meaning girlfriend Kim Kardashian, has somewhere to shop if she gets bored on match days. And West has somewhere to shop if he gets bored on match days, too.

    Plus, who wouldn’t buy Harry Redknapp’s debut rap album, Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems With HM Revenue And Customs?