Jamie Redknapp's Silliest Quotes

Charles LawleyContributor IFebruary 15, 2013

Jamie Redknapp's Silliest Quotes

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    In 2004, something beautiful happened. Injury-prone footballer and son of the manager Harry Redknapp, Jamie Redknapp decided to start dabbling with being a studio-based soccer pundit. After he retired, he went on to make a career out of punditry.

    It was a move that turned out to be a great thing for fans of tight trousers, but a very dark day for fans of the English language.

    It’s very easy to make fun of some of the stupid things Jamie Redknapp has said...

    ...and as no one likes a difficult Friday, let’s make fun of some of the stupid things that Jamie Redknapp has said.

    Here’s a list of what is literally the silliest things Jamie Redknapp has said...

Jamie Being Confusing

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    "Steven Gerrard makes runs into the box better than anyone. So does Frank Lampard."

    That one makes my brain hurt.

     

    “I wouldn’t rule Barcelona out against Shakhtar.”

    Do you think they've got a chance, Jamie, yeah?

     

    And, while talking about AC Milan’s Pato, during an AC Milan game: 

    “I'll be honest, I know nothing about him.”

    Don't worry, you're only a professional football pundit, Jamie. No one's expecting you to have done any research on one of the team's best players.

     

    "When you play for England you're all representing that curry... er, your country”

    Actually, I have some sympathy for Jamie on this one, I always stop listening to myself talk and start thinking about food.

     

    “[Everton are] a team of men”

    Yeah, has anyone noticed how few females are in the Everton squad? Perhaps David Moyes is a misogynist.

     

    "Peter Schmeichel will be like a father figure to Kasper Schmeichel"

    Being his actual father, he literally will. Which brings us nicely onto our next slide...

Jamie Literally at His Best

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    There are so many great individual rivalries in sport; Ali/Frazier, Nadal/Federer, Hogan/Andre The Giant.

    But for me, the most entertaining is the feud between Jamie Redknapp and the use of the word “literally”.

    Firstly to fully appreciate these quotes, it’s best we’re all clear on what the word literally means. Dictionary.com states:

    1.  in the literal or strict sense: What does the word mean literally?

    2.  in a literal manner; word for word: to translate literally.

    3.  actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy: The city was literally destroyed.

     Now we’re all on the same page, sit back and enjoy:

     

    “He literally chopped him in half in that challenge”

     

    “The ball literally gave him a haircut.”

     

    “Alonso and Sissoko have been picked to literally sit in front of the back four.”

     

    “He’s literally just eaten the fourth official.”

     

    "He’s literally turned him inside out."

     

    “[Michael Owen] literally turns into a greyhound”

     

    “Scholes has such a great footballing brain. He’ll see a picture in his head and literally paint it in front of you.”

     

    “Center forwards have the ability to make time stand still. And when Chopra got the ball, it literally did just that.”

     

    “He had to cut back inside onto his left, because he literally hasn’t got a right foot”

     

    “He’s literally sold the defender a dummy”

     

    'These balls now - they literally explode off your feet.'

     

    “The crowd behind the goal are literally going insane.”

     

    Anyone else starting to think that Jamie doesn’t fully understand the word “literally”?

Jamie Being Wrong

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    “The perfect result for United today is a draw.”

    Yeah, winning is overrated.

     

    "Roy Hodgson has never worked with top, top players."

    I think Roberto Carlos, Javier Zanetti, Paul Ince, Gianluca Pagliuca, Giuseppe Bergomi, Aron Winter and Youri Djorkaeff (who had all worked under Roy at the time of the quote) might have something to say about that, Jamie.

     

    “Real Madrid aren’t in the same league as Barcelona.”

    They literally are, Jamie.