But with that cannon of a right leg, he's got a shot most strikers could only dream about.
It's early in the European club season, but 2012-13 already has a strong candidate for goal of the season. It happened this weekend, and it came courtesy of Jiranek, our Grizzly Adams defender with the leg of gold.
The goal can be seen in the video above. It's the Set Piece Goal of the Weekend (with apologies to Demba Ba's volley and Fabrizio Miccoli's 50-yard lob). But before you watch, make sure you sit down with a nice glass of brandy—or something else more to your liking—because this one just absolutely oozes class.
Take a look at the goal from every angle (the money shot starts around the 0:45 mark). Not only did Jiranek hit that ball extraordinarily hard, but he also put some nasty backspin on it with the outside of his boot. The keeper really had no chance.
A little background info: Jiranek is indeed a central defender. He's 33, a former Czech Republic international and he currently plays for Terek Grozny in the Russian Premier League.
Jiranek, who has also played for Spartak Moscow and Slovan Liberec, among other clubs, joined the club in 2011. And eagle-eyed readers might remember seeing him play for Birmingham City in their 2011 Carling Cup final win over Arsenal.
Jiranek couldn't inspire his team to victory this weekend, wonder goal and all. Terek lost the match 2-1. But it's safe to say we can all pretty much agree that they took home all three style points anyway.
[h/t 101 Great Goals]