15 World Football Duos Who Need a Reality TV Show
What makes football so exciting is the unscripted nature of it—you can't predict what's coming next.
Your feelings towards a footballer can be impacted by his personality.
Like love for someone as humble as Gianfranco Zola—or hate for someone like El Hadji Diouf.
Let's take an off-beat look at world football by hypothetically listing 15 world football duos who'd make a hit realty TV show.
Joey Barton and Mike Ashley
During his contract dispute with Newcastle United, Joey Barton questioned the club's strategy (at the time it seemed flawed) and lack of ambition.
That was a fair question but then civility was thrown out the window when Barton attacked Ashley's personal appearance.
Barton's gripe with Ashley stems from the club's stingy economic policy, even to the senior players and the performing players.
Channeling the fan's discontent with Mike Ashley, Barton left Newcastle in a blaze of glory. Though given Queens Park Rangers are just floating above the relegation zone, maybe Barton shouldn't have left Newcastle.
Arsène Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson
The once volatile relationship between Arsène Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson has mellowed in recent times.
Though it would be fascinating to see how Wenger does spend his extra time. Perhaps more complaining with Ferguson acting as the stand-in shrink.
Craig Foster and Robbie Slater
Florentino Pérez and José Mourinho
Just try to imagine what type of conversation would take place between José Mourinho and Florentino Pérez after another Barcelona win.
Mourinho loves to test how confident the board is in him and this can be traced back to his days at Benfica.
Having just achieved his dream job of managing a big Portuguese side, he resigned after his requests for a contract extension were not granted.
The Special One walked out of Stamford Bridge after losing the cold war with Roman Abramovich.
After expensive signings Mancini and Ricardo Quaresma epically flopped, Mourinho had the audacity to request more money from Massimo Moratti.
At Real Madrid, Mourinho has flexed his muscles by pushing out Jorge Valdano and signing Fábio Coentrão for an inflated transfer fee.
Pérez, however, rejected Mourinho's request to sign Maicon.
Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane
Given that both Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane aren't managing right now, both could make a bit of pocket money by starring in a reality show.
Here is Keane's infamous rant:
Mick, you're a liar ... you're a f___ing w__ker. I didn't rate you as a player, I don't rate you as a manager, and I don't rate you as a person.
You're a f___ing w__ker and you can stick your World Cup up your b_______.
The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country.
You can stick it up your b_______.
Diego Maradona and Julio Grondona
Julio Grondona wants to name the Argentine Premier League after a ship that was sunk by the British—and Diego Maradona is bona-fide crazy.
Two crazy people generally makes for entertaining viewing.
Samir Nasri and William Gallas
Pepe and Elizabeth Lambert
Both Pepe and Elizabeth Lambert get more satisfaction from hurting others than scoring goals.
If you're unaware of Lambert, here is a video of her literally terrorising her opponents.
Both are hacks playing a beautiful game, and it could be love at first sight.
Francesco Totti and Mario Balotelli
Mario Balotelli could have a reality TV show just about him and the ratings would be sky high.
Add in Francesco Totti, who assaulted him in a Serie A game, and you'd probably have a fight.
Keep in mind, Balotelli has scuffled with Marco Materazzi, Jérôme Boateng and Micah Richards. Totti wouldn't have to do much to provoke a reaction from Super Mario.
John Terry and Wayne Bridge
From making light of 9/11, assault, alleged racial abuse, John Terry is a classless individual.
I lost all respect for him as a human being when it was revealed in the British media that he cheated on his wife by sleeping with Wayne Bridge's former girlfriend.
Bridge's refusal to shake Terry's hand indicates how much he loathes the Chelsea captain.
Mohammed Bin Hammam and Sepp Blatter
All Mohammed Bin Hammam needed to do was to continue playing the game.
Sepp Blatter ruthlessly took out Bin Hammam and erased the Qatari's relevance in the footballing community after the Qatari foolishly attempted to usurp Blatter.
Pep Guardiola and Zlatan Ibrahimović
The nonexistent body language gave us hints that Pep Guardiola and Zlatan Ibrahimović weren't exactly friends, but who'd have thought it was a feud.
Ibrahimović confronted Guardiola:
You bought a Ferrari but drive it like a Fiat ... you have no balls ... you can go to hell ... you are s____ing yourself.
When Ibrahimović went ballistic, Guardiola remained civil and calm—a testament to his classy nature.
Lionel Messi and Pelé
Pelé is exaggerating when he says he scored over 1,000 goals—he officially scored 757 goals in 812 games.
The rest of the goals were scored in friendly games and so-called tour games.
When he says he won three FIFA World Cups, that's a half-lie, because he was injured for the 1962 FIFA World Cup and watched Garrincha single handily win the tournament for Brazil.
Pelé's jealousy of Messi is disappointing to watch from someone I thought was a class act.
Carlos Tévez and Roberto Mancini
Carlos Tévez is one of the most selfish footballers off the field (ironically he's such a selfless player on the field), whilst Roberto Mancini is a 'my way or the highway' type manager—as Craig Bellamy found out.
Mancini's feud with Tévez has been a riveting story line this season.
Luis Suárez and Patrice Evra
Currently, the flavour of the month is Luis Suárez and Patrice Evra.
Suárez has never been the standard of professionalism, but Evra always cries foul.
This is a man that believed Senegalese people were racially abusing him, when he is Senegalese by birth.
Let us not forget the real Evra:
You motherf____r Hasselbaink. Suck my pu__y Lampard. Motherf____r ni__ers.
Given the way Evra and Suárez crave attention and controversy, both would be perfect to star in a reality TV show.
Please read Most Forgotten Superstars XI.
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