San Francisco Giants: 5 More Underwhelming Moves the Giants Could Make
If nothing else, Brian Sabean is a man of his word.
But talk is cheap. Apparently, so are the San Francisco Giants.
Now that the team has non-tendered Jeff Keppinger, ostensibly decided to replace Carlos Beltran with Angel Pagan and announced their preference for Brandon Crawford as the team’s shortstop, it looks as though the Giants will not compete for a high-priced free agent.
It seems they will instead bank on the “odds” that the team of outcasts and misfits (with a few new misfits) will return to 2010 form.
To me, this sounds an awful lot like that guy at the casino who wins a fluke spin at the roulette wheel and decides to wager half his winnings on another spin with the same number. You know that guy. And you know where he lives—an alleyway dumpster somewhere on Market Street.
Regardless, this is not an article lamenting the fact that the Giants did not offer contracts to Albert Pujols, Jose Reyes, Prince Fielder, C.J. Wilson and Jimmy Rollins. Arguments abound, in fact, that none of the aforementioned players are either necessary or “good buys.”
This is an article projecting signings to come.
These projections are underwhelming and unrealistic.
But you know what? If I would have told you last season that Ryan Vogelsong would walk in and put up (by several metrics) the best numbers on the pitching staff, what would you have thought?
Yet look what happened.
1: Sign Eric Surkamp to a Multi-Year Deal
1 of 5Eric Surkamp came in last season and picked up right where Barry Zito left off. Surkamp underwhelmed in his admittedly-limited exposure.
His line: 6 games, 2-2, 5.74 ERA, 26.2 IP, 13 K, 17 BB, 1.838 WHIP.
Barry Zito’s line, in case you are interested: 13 games, 3-4, 5.87 ERA, 53.2 IP, 32 K, 24 BB, 1.398 WHIP.
The trouble with Surkamp is that he doesn’t appear to have, for lack of better terminology, “good stuff.” He has a weak fastball with little movement and a large swooping curveball. Sound familiar? His stellar strikeout-to-walk numbers in the minor leagues were clearly an illusion, driven higher by the lower awareness of the strike zone displayed by minor-league hitters.
A left-handed pitcher with mediocre “stuff,” who struggles to find the strike zone and gives up base-runners at an alarming rate? Sounds like seven years and $120 million to me.
2: Sign Bill Hall to a Multimillion-Dollar Contract
2 of 5If you’ve seen this commercial, you would know why Bill Hall deserves a multimillion-dollar contract.
Some music teacher named Brian Kingrey, despite possessing no prior knowledge of baseball, won a million dollars by playing a video game. His object? To be the first player to throw a perfect game. He struggled mightily against Bill Hall, but after striking him out in the eighth inning, confidently proclaimed:
“Once I got past Bill Hall, I knew I had it. If anybody’s going to hit the ball out, it’s going to be him.”
San Francisco Giants fans take heed: If anybody is going to hit the ball out, it won’t be Albert Pujols; it won’t be Prince Fielder; it won’t be Carlos Beltran—it will be Bill Hall.
3. Offer Assistant GM Position to Brian Kingrey
3 of 5Brian Kingrey obviously learned a thing or two about baseball en route to winning a million dollars. With his limited knowledge, I am supremely confident that he could “construct” a lineup within the confines of the San Francisco Giants budget that would be at least as good as the “brilliant moves” Brian Sabean and his crew have made this offseason.
In fact, I will take it a step further. I am confident that every reader of this article (yes, that means you) is at least as capable of doing the same.
.png?w=256)
4. Sign Neifi Perez
4 of 5About seven or eight years ago, I was at a game with my father between the San Francisco Giants and the Philadelphia Phillies in Philadelphia.
The game was atrocious, but it did feature a meaningless eighth-inning triple by Neifi Perez. I liked his hustle. I liked his passion for the game. I liked his Whiteside-esque ability to come through when it mattered the least.
If I were to underwhelm Giants fans a bit more, I would try a surprise signing of Neifi Perez. Granted, he has not played since 2007, but who knows? He might be the next Ryan Vogelsong.
Brian Sabean could one-up the Miguel Tejada signing by actually tendering an offer to a retired dinosauric shortstop. This type of signing would generate a tremendously underwhelming sigh from Giants Nation, and it would perhaps be all too fitting.
5. MC Hammer Moves
5 of 5A different type of move, to be sure, but the Brian Wilson sideshow continues to underwhelm.
Sure, he’s fun. Yes, he has a terrific sense of humor. Yes, he was extraordinary in 2010. But last year, he was all style and no substance.
Many San Francisco Giants fans have voiced their opinion on this matter. And it seems clear that, should Wilson’s antics supplant his performance this season, he will not be the fan favorite for much longer.
If Brian Wilson wants to keep doing Taco Bell commercials, he ought to step his game up.
.png?w=480)
.jpg?w=600 "Colts Release Kenny Moore")
