Francisco Liriano Injury: 10 More Mishaps That Could Befall the Minnesota Twins
Monday afternoon turned out to be another day of disaster for the besieged Minnesota Twins.
First, they announced that starting pitcher Francisco Liriano, who missed Saturday’s start and was replaced by Anthony Swarzak, has been placed on the 15-day disabled list with what is being called left shoulder inflammation.
Twins manager Ron Gardenhire told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune that he was hopeful Liriano would only have to miss one start beyond this Thursday.
Then, in the sixth inning of the game with the Detroit Tigers, right fielder Jason Kubel made an effort to catch Victor Martinez’ long fly ball, which ended up over the wall for a home run. Kubel said that he felt pain in his left foot when he first jumped, and then a shooting pain when he landed back on the foot.
Kubel’s foot has been placed in a walking boot, and he will be evaluated again on Tuesday. Kubel is hopeful that he will only miss limited time.
Um, Jason—considering the way the season has gone so far, hopeful might not be an option.
And then, finally, the Twins were done in when a ball hit by Tigers’ catcher Alex Avila bounded down the left-field line, hitting a fan in the process. The third base umpire, Gary Darling, ruled fan interference on the play, indicating that a man in an orange shirt had reached out to grab the ball.
Tigers’ runner Jhonny Peralta, who had just crossed second base at the time of the play, was awarded home plate, giving the Tigers a controversial 6-5 victory.
After viewing a replay, it seemed pretty clear that the fan in the orange shirt only reached out toward the field after he and another young boy had been hit by the ball, and Peralta should have only been awarded third base on the play, with Avila receiving a ground-rule double.
But, it’s 2011. Everything that could have gone wrong for the Twins has done exactly that, and more.
So, are there any more bizarre events, catastrophes, calamities, mishaps or tragedies that could befall the Twins?
We at Bleacher Report think there actually could be.
Here is a list of 10 more mishaps that could possibly happen to the Twins before this miserable season comes to a merciful end.
By the way, keep in mind that while reading this slideshow, understand that none of these events are actually real, they are a complete figment of the writer's warped imagination.
Doug Mead is a featured columnist with Bleacher Report. His work has been featured on the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, SF Gate, CBS Sports, the Los Angeles Times and the Houston Chronicle. Follow Doug on Twitter, @Sports_A_Holic.
1. Carl Pavano Matches Up Against Brian Wilson in a Classic MLB Face-off
1 of 10
Last year, two pitchers in Major League Baseball decided to grow some facial hair. Closer Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants started growing a bushy beard that became the genesis of the famous “Fear the Beard” campaign that helped spur the Giants on to World Series magic, and Wilson to unprecedented marketing success.
Pavano decided to grow a mustache, which presumably led to his 17-win performance last season. However, Pavano’s upper lip growth did nothing for the Twins’ playoff chances, meekly exiting once again in the ALDS in three straight.
On June 21, the Twins will travel to San Francisco to take on the Giants in an interleague matchup. By then, Pavano will have grown back his mustache in all its glory, hoping to reverse his seemingly downward spiral this season.
When Pavano meets Wilson for the first time, Pavano makes the mistake of mocking the beard, saying his mustache is much cooler-looking.
Wilson takes great offense at Pavano’s remark and clocks him with a roundhouse right, shattering Pavano’s jaw, requiring surgery. Pavano’s upper lip growth has to be shaved off during the surgery, and he is lost for the season.
Fear the beard.
MLB… Always epic…
2. Stadium Sponsor Target Implements Famous Bullseye Marketing Campaign
2 of 10
Target has become one of the largest discount department store chains in the country, realizing tremendous profits while offering oodles of great bargains on thousands of items.
The 25-year naming rights deal, signed in September 2008, is supposedly worth between $4 million-$6 million, so somewhere between $100 million-$150 million altogether.
Target has deemed that figure needs to be much higher, so they have decided to introduce a series of marketing events at Target Field, designed to further increase their brand awareness.
One of the marketing events is called Target Bullseye Night, in honor of their famous red and white logo in the shape of a target, complete with bullseye smack in the middle.
Target gives out logo T-shirts to all fans, imploring them to wear them during the game. The sea of red and white targets throughout the field induces the Twins to launch majestic hits during batting practice.
The problem is, none of the fans have gloves. The resulting injuries end up costing a small fortune, complete with a class-action lawsuit.
Target’s stock turns into a penny stock by season’s end.
3.Jason Kubel’s Boot
3 of 10
Jason Kubel was fitted with a walking boot after injuring said foot during Monday night’s game with the Detroit Tigers.
Kubel keeps the boot on for several days as a precaution, and in the process of taking off the boot, the doctor pulling off the boot realizes it’s on a bit too tight. The doctor pulls and pulls and pulls, to no avail.
The doctor calls in assistance, and they try to wriggle the boot free from Kubel’s left foot. Finally, after several minutes, the boot gives way. However, the boot comes off in a whoosh, propelling the doctor and his assistants through the glass door behind them, landing all three of them in the hospital with numerous cuts, abrasions and fractures.
Kubel’s foot turns out to be okay, but the doctor and his assistants sue the Twins, claiming Kubel and his foot were uncooperative and that their lives were unnecessarily endangered.
The Twins ended up footing the bill.
.png?w=256)
4.Michael Cuddyer Retires in Disgrace
4 of 10
For the past 11 seasons, Minnesota Twins first baseman/second baseman/third baseman/right fielder/designated hitter/chief bottle washer Michael Cuddyer has been a willing and happy servant.
However, one thing in particular has always bothered Cuddyer—people just can’t stop mispronouncing his name.
After years of hearing Cudd-ee-yer, Coo-die-yer, Cudjer, Coo-dee-er and a host of other pronunciations, finally one night in mid-season Cuddyer snaps. After a young boy approaches him with an autograph request—“Mr. Coo-dee-yay, can I have your autograph?”, Cuddyer takes over the public address system at Target Field and yells out to the crowd, “It’s Cuh-die-yer, for crying out loud, can’t you people get anything right?”
Needless to say, the Twins release Cuddyer outright the following day, and because of the fallout, Michael Cuh-die-yer retires in disgrace.
5.Justin Morneau Has a Concussion-Aided Epiphany Regarding Canadian Heritage
5 of 10
Twins’ first baseman Justin Morneau suffered a devastating concussion after a horrific collision at second base on July 7 last season in a game against the Toronto Blue Jays, ending his 2010 season. Morneau was having a typical Morneau-like season, hitting .345 with 18 home runs and 56 RBI.
Coming back this season has been a challenge for Morneau, hitting just .245 with two homers and 16 RBI through the team’s first 51 games.
Later on during the season, a light finally turns on for Morneau, but it wasn’t quite the light that the Twins had anticipated.
Morneau, finally free of all concussion-related symptoms and after-effects, had an epiphany. He realized that his concussion taught him that he must embrace his inner self.
So, Morneau embraces his Canadian heritage and works diligently to try to return the game of baseball to his home country. Morneau retires abruptly to work on his new venture, vowing to keep his nose to the grindstone and head to the stars.
The Twins thought he was seeing stars again when he suddenly announced his epiphany.
6.Twins General Manager Bill Smith Goes Back to His Roots
6 of 10
During the All-Star break, seeing that he had a few days off to relax, Twins’ GM Bill Smith was watching TV when he happened upon an episode of HBO’s Big Love.
Unaware of the premise of the show, depicting a fundamentalist Mormon family practicing plural marriage, Smith hears a name that perks his ears—Joseph Smith, Jr.
Bill Smith decides to research his genealogy and discovers that he is a direct descendant of Joseph Smith, Jr., the man who is considered the founder of the Latter Day Saint movement, which led to Smith Jr. creating the Book of Mormon.
Bill Smith now realizes he has a greater calling—move his family to Utah and practice polygamy, just like his dear old great-great-great-great grandfather.
Smith leaves Minnesota like a thief in the night, and Twins’ officials, after filing a missing persons report, give up the search by the end of the season.
7.Prospect Ben Revere Also Finds out About His Distant Relatives
7 of 10
Minnesota Twins prospect Ben Revere was called up by the Minnesota Twins for the first time in early May, filling in for the injured Delmon Young. Upon Young’s return, Revere was sent back to Triple-A Rochester.
Upon learning that Jason Kubel would be sent to the DL with a fractured foot, Revere returns to the Twins, looking to once again impress with his apparent skills.
While the Twins were enjoying their four days off during the All-Star break, Revere also decided to perform a search concerning his family’s genealogy.
After exhaustive research, Revere was shocked to learn that he was a direct descendant of American Revolutionary War figure Paul Revere, whose midnight ride became famous through the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Revere decided to honor his distant relative’s memory. Revere set out to honor relative Paul by ordering a very special set of bats. There was only one slight problem—all of the bats were made with pewter.
When Revere attempted to use the bat in the first game after the All-Star break, the umpires told him the bats were highly illegal. Revere wouldn’t budge—he just had to honor Paul. Due to Revere’s stubborn desire to carry on the family legacy, Revere was banned from baseball.
Twins fans could hear Revere saying as he left the park for the final time, “The Brewers are coming, the Brewers are coming!”
8.Delmon Young Learns How to Attack an Umpire in a New Way
8 of 10
Back in 2006, then prospect Delmon Young made a very poor decision during a minor league game. While playing for the Triple-A Durham Bulls against the Pawtucket Red Sox in an International League game, Young was called out on strikes.
Incensed at the call, Young stared at the umpire for several seconds before walking away, then flipped his bat back at the umpire, striking him in the chest. The umpire wasn’t injured, however Young was suspended for 50 games by the International League.
During Young’s major league career, he has not even come close to repeating that act. However, Young became increasingly frustrated with his paltry .217 average with just one home run.
During the All-Star break, Young was hanging out with his Australian teammate Luke Hughes, who teaches Young how to properly throw a boomerang. Young spends some time trying to get the hang of it before the season starts back up again.
Several days after the All-Star, in a game against the upstart Cleveland Indians, Young, who was suffering through an 0-for-3 night with two strikeouts, was called out on strikes for the third time.
Incensed, Young ran down to the dugout, through the tunnel and into the clubhouse to his locker. Rummaging through his travel bag, Young finds the boomerang that Hughes had given to him as a present.
Young marches back out to the dugout and prepares to throw the boomerang at the umpire, just like his friend Hughes taught him. However, in his anger, Young throws the boomerang improperly, the boomerang just missing the home plate umpire.
Young turned around in disgust, not noticing that the boomerang had begun its return journey. By the time Young turned back around, the boomerang caught him flush in the face, fracturing his cheekbone in several places.
Young was suspended for 18 months by Major League Baseball, and his boomerang was confiscated. No word on whether or not Hughes was charged with complicity.
9.Designated Hitter Jim Thome Takes Up a Worthy Hobby
9 of 10
The Twins realize that the only thing they really have left to play for in the 2011 season is to watch designated hitter Jim Thome become only the eighth player in the history of baseball to hit 600 home runs.
One of the local papers, who shall remain nameless, decides to ask Thome to write a personal journal describing his journey to the magical mark. Thome agrees, and takes pen in hand.
However, Thome gets completely caught up in the world of journalism, and begins writing furiously every day, piling up mountains of notes along the way. Thome is old-fashioned, he prefers to write his notes rather than use a laptop.
Unfortunately, that decision proves to be career-ending. Thome develops carpal tunnel syndrome, and is unable to grip a bat. He finishes his career with 593 home runs, and the Twins have nothing left to play for in the 2011 season.
All because Thome wanted to write a tome.
10.Twins Catcher Joe Mauer Takes Kevin Butler to School and Beyond
10 of 10
During the previous offseason, Twins’ catcher Joe Mauer became the face of MLB ’11 The Show—the video game promoted by Sony PlayStation.
The commercials were epic, starring Mauer along with Kevin Butler, who bullies and taunts Mauer throughout the commercial until Mauer hits a bomb at the end, resulting in Butler saying, “Well played, Mauer.”
However, during the All-Star break, Mauer, even though he is voted to the All-Star team while injured, decides not to go to Phoenix for the game and festivities, and instead visits Sony to take on Butler once again on MLB ’11 The Show.
It would be a decision that Mauer would rue for the rest of the season.
Mauer, who turned the tables on Butler and was beating him throughout the course of their video game rematch, suddenly has the tables turned when Butler slams a homer off him to win the game.
Mauer, instead of saying, “Well played, Butler,” says nothing and clocks Butler over the head with his game console.
Butler sues Mauer, Sony drops Mauer as a spokesperson, and Mauer is suspended for the rest of the season.
Well played, Mauer, well played.
.png?w=480)
.jpg?w=600 "Colts Release Kenny Moore")
