WWE a Christmas Carol

Let us all gather around the flaming 6ft very breakable table and enjoy a little holiday cheer.

That's right its one of the long lost WWE Christmas Specials.

Enough of Charlie Brown and Rudolph, its about time that we aired these long lost specials, here is the first of the joyous holiday specials. A Christmas Carol

Vince McMahon the Scrooge of the WWE while he may be running a succesful business and its making a lot of money, and he knows what he's doing (as stated in one of my previous articles) this here is a tale of how Christmas got to the WWE's chairman of the board.

Lets all gather around and listen to the WWE Christmas Carol.

Scene 1: The Office Of McMahon and McMahon.

It was the Christmas season and the rich miser Vince McMahon was hard working away at WWE headquarters writing weird plots, and figuring out how he could have the Nexus draw out for an entire year.

His loyal worker John Cena sat in the office adjoining to his writing new ways that he could rant about loving his company and the WWE Universe. But it being Christmas Eve he was hoping he wouldn't have to work all night long and could run home and spend some time with Tiny Rey the other lovable character of the WWE that never has to turn heel.

The sign out front still read McMahon and McMahon even though Linda had stayed away from the company for a while in hopes of getting elected to office, but Vince felt no need to change the sign, he liked his name up there twice. 

Vince begrudgingly dismissed John, but told him he had to make an extra 25 appearances and 4 more movies since he was letting him have Christmas off.

John threw on his John Cena holiday gear (soon to be available at wweshop.com) and ran out the door wishing Mr. McMahon a Merry Christmas.

Scene 2 Visited By Old Ghosts!

Later that night Vince was visited by the ghost of his one time rival Ted Turner!

Vince screamed "Ted! You Died!"

"No Vince I am the ghost of WCW and I am here to warn you. You need to go back to compelling television for wrestling, remember the good ol' days when you and I would feud as to who would be a better wrestling entertainment show, you need to get back that spark."

"But there was competition and I thrive in that, my goal was to take you over, and then I won, and then well we've been trying new things, and the PG thing is okay, and now there's just no competition." Vince said.

"What about TNA, Vince?" asked Ted.

......(pause)

BWAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA both men burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry, I tried saying it with a straight face, oh wow, hahahaha, okay, anyway you know the deal right, three ghosts, yada yada, learn a lesson." Ted wiped a tear of laughter from his face.

"Okay, okay, hahaha, wow, don't do that to me, I'm not as young as I used to be." Vince curled up in his giant bed stuffed with money and waited for the bell to toll 1 and be visited by the first ghost.

Scene 3 Ghost Of Christmas Past

The Bell tolls ONE!

Vince awakes: "Spirit?"

"Ohhhhh yeah. Dig It! Ghost of Christmas Past comin atcha!"

"Oh God. Your not here to take me to the 80s are you?"

"No Vince I'm here to take you when you were making a lot of money, had killer ratings and did have some blonde guy in a boa bossing you around. We're going to the 90s! A time of you getting your butt kicked and the WWE and the attitude era ran rampant."

"Well I'm trying to be more PG lately."

"Oooooh Yeah! Have you seen a PG movie lately?! Your working at more of a G level. The movie The Losers about a government black ops group was PG for crying out loud. No one is asking you to drop F bombs, Oooooh Yeah! But a little Hell Yeah wouldn't kill ya."

And Vince was shot back to his room and put back in his bed waiting for the next spirit.

Scene 4 Ghost Of Christmas Present

The bell tolls 2!

Vince awkens "Spirit?"

"Hello Vince I am the Ghost of Christmas Present!"

"Oh hello Johnny Nitro" said Vince

"No, thats my old name, we killed it because of WCW" said the Ghost

"Oh sorry, right, Johnny Blaze" said Vince

"Nope we killed that one because its the Ghost Rider from Marvel Comics" said the Ghost

"Which John are you now?" asked Vince

"Morrison, I'M JOHN MORRISON! I was a tag champ, ECW champ! Come ON! I've been here like forever!"

"Right, right, whatre you here to show me?" asked Vince.

"That you need to give new talent a pushhhhhhh. You can't have a glass ceiling any more Vince!"

"But Miz is champ, Daniel Bryan is US champ, Ziggler is IC champ, Nexus is tag champs, Wade Barrett is competing in main events...I'm confused." said Vince.

"ME! You neeed to give me a push! Seriously Sheamus King of the Ring?! What the Hell man! You know what, forget this, learn a lesson, don't, whatevs, I'm going to go do Parkour"

"Parkour? Hmmmm I'll have to have Michael Cole google that so I know what that is." said Vince.

And the spirit whooshed him back to his room.

Scene 5 Ghost of Christmas Future

The Bell tolls 3!

Vince calls out "Spirit Squad?"

The spirit stands there but says nothing.

"Oh my, you're the spirit I feared the most, the talent that I have yet to hire, probably should but most likely wont! Wait are you AJ Styles?"

The spirit doesn't answer.

"It says Styles on your robe." Vince points out

The spirit covers his robe

"You have a big AJ tattooed on your body. Its right there I can see it." Vince tickles his side.

"Cut it out, cut it out, hehehehe. Vince I am the talent that will come to you some day... please...oh and go find my friend Christopher Daniels, he also wears a cool hood."

"So you're here to tell me to pilfer talent from TNA? I mean I know a lot of great guys have gone there, like ummmmm, Jeff Jarett."

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"Stop! I'm not spoz to talk, I'm just all creepy and stuff. Anyway, get some new talent, get rid of the Nexus angle, let Cena evolve a bit and turn Rey evil, he'd make a great heel."

"Haahaha, okay, gotcha." Vince shakes his hand.

"Cool bro, please seriously, make it quick please, Ric Flair smells funny and he makes me rub Ben Gay on him after shows.'

Scene 6 Christmas Day

Vince woke up on Christmas Day logged into his Bleacher Report account and read the latest batch of Bleacher goodness. 

He did his usual ritual of marking Kingly One's articles offensive but paused for a moment on several other articles, listening to the predictions, wants and hopes and dreams of the IWC and the WWE Universe.

He then called up his loyal worker John Cena and told him he could stop wrestling the Nexus as they were breaking them up next week when it is revealed that evil Rey Mysterio is the leader of Nexus and John will have a feud with Rey.

He then went on to create 10 new tag teams and send emails to Christopher Daniels, AJ Styles and Samoa Joe offering them a home in the WWE universe.

He told Mic he could come back, he told Ric he could stay there.

He wrote two long feuds out for both the IC belt and and the US title involving Christian, Ezikiel Jackson and Santino, Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler.

He sent two lumps of coal with a note saying 'don't smoke this' to the Hardys.

He gave Edge the belt and had Chris Jericho return to go after him, only to be stopped by Shawn Michaels, as Edge's manager.

Stone Cold and the Rock became the General Managers of Raw and Smackdown

Jerry Lawler had a buried alive match with Michael Cole and JR threw on the first lump of dirt to Cole's grave.

Undertaker took on The Easter Bunny at Wrestlemania and kept the streak alive, but Easter was canceled forever after.

And he wished all a Merry Christmas!

The End?

"Happy Holidays stay tuned for some more great WWE Holiday Specials! And more holiday predictions. 

check out more funny goodness at my page www.theboompage.com" said John Kindelan

"Yo dude! What about me?!"

"Oh my gosh, John Morrison?! What're you doing here?!" John said surprised.

"Waiting for you to write me getting a title shot!" Screamed Morrison.

"Dude, I'm sure we'll find something for you in Santa's sack." John Kindelan said as he consoled John Morrison.

"Heh, you said Santa's sack." Morrison Chuckled.