7 NBA Players with Otherworldly Abilities
Basketball legend Darryl Dawkins shattered backboards and boasted one of the best all-time nicknames ("Chocolate Thunder"), but he also professed to be an alien who had arrived from the planet Lovetron. While Dawkins' intergalactic bona fides could never be confirmed, there are players in the modern NBA who seem blessed with supernatural abilities.
Whether enhanced by the yellow sun of Earth or merely a lucky accident of genetics bolstered by rigorous diet and exercise, numerous basketballers could plausibly hail from some other world where the natives harbor little respect for gravity.
This list examines current NBA players and their otherworldliness, so neither Derrick Rose nor Dwight Howard made it in light of their numerous injuries. However, there are plenty more "men" with alien abilities, from four-time MVP LeBron James to electric rookie Zach LaVine.
Zach LaVine, Minnesota Timberwolves
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Zach LaVine pulled out all the stops at the Slam Dunk Contest during the 2015 All-Star Weekend festivities in New York. Incorporating rappers Quad City DJs, LaVine strutted out to the theme of the movie Space Jam, a 1996 basketball-cartoon-crossover comedy starring Michael Jordan, Bill Murray and Bugs Bunny.
That showmanship succeeded in entertaining, but LaVine's hops needed no embellishment. The kid threw down a ferocious between-the-legs reverse slam with one hand, narrowly avoiding the rim with his head, and the smoothness of his dunk combined with a lightning-quick precision set him apart from the competition.
Presumptive Rookie of the Year Andrew Wiggins had assisted with some of LaVine's practice dunks in advance of the contest, and he told reporters Friday that he could hardly believe his eyes, via Brett Pollakoff of Pro Basketball Talk: "I can’t say nothing. Just know—I almost fainted. I’ve never seen a dunk like that. I’ve never witnessed it live before in my life. Just know."
Just know, it's entirely possible that LaVine is from another world. Aside from accomplishing the seemingly impossible at just 19 years old—namely, getting people to care about the tired charade the dunk contest has become—something else doesn't add up about LaVine. He was born in 1995, and Space Jam was released in theaters in 1996.
Moreover, the movie's plot involves a group of aliens intent on enslaving the lovable Looney Tunes after stealing the talent of NBA players for their own benefit. Suddenly, LaVine's stunning performance seems all the more conspicuous.
Gerald Green, Phoenix Suns
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Gerald Green is a specific kind of NBA player, the kind who perpetuates his time as a pro baller largely off raw athleticism and exceptional physical gifts. Merely being athletic and capable of jumping high cannot by themselves sustain an NBA career—just ask Shannon Brown or James White—but Green brings a little extra to the court.
Green has wowed fans and teammates around the NBA since getting drafted 18th overall in 2005, and he claimed the title at the 2007 Slam Dunk Contest. He bounced around the globe with stints in Russia, China and the NBA Development League before catching on with the New Jersey Nets in 2012. Since then, he has lit up highlight reels with dunks such as this even while averaging modest points and minutes.
Upon Green moving to the Indiana Pacers, coach Frank Vogel noticed something suspicious about the team's athletic new acquisition, telling Mike Wells of the Indianapolis Star, via Yahoo Sports: "Gerald Green is doing things every day I didn't think was possible for human beings to do."
The Pacers would eventually trade the superhuman Green to the Phoenix Suns, where he continued doing things other people cannot do, such as crushing a between-the-legs windmill slam without wearing shoes. Physics tells us that based on the low coefficient of friction between a sock and the hardwood, such a dunk should be impossible.
Andre Iguodala, Golden State Warriors
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Andre Iguodala is so cool, even Kevin Hart wishes he could do things like him. Long known as a physical freak and an athlete brimming with top-level talent, the adaptable Iguodala refuses to age like a normal mortal or yield to time in any way.
Playing for a Golden State Warriors team that has looked like the class of the NBA, the 31-year-old Iguodala has accepted a bench role on the team despite possessing more than enough skill to start on nearly any other roster.
While he may not be quite as spry as he used to be, his savvy and smarts combine with a persistent skill that makes him a nightmare to deal with, whether as a defender or with a head of steam in the open court.
"Wish my car had that Iguodala speed. He went from half court to the basket in 3.5 seconds.
— Jimmy Spencer (@JimmySpencerNBA) March 2, 2015"
And Iggy takes pleasure in routinely embarrassing his all-too-human opponents. Whether it be destroying Quincy Miller with a killer crossover, tiptoeing past Iman Shumpert and Kevin Love along the baseline on his way to dunking or simply making Matthew Dellavedova fall down like his shoelaces had been tied together, Iguodala does things no man should be able to do.
DeAndre Jordan, Los Angeles Clippers
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Science tells us that gravity accelerates objects on Earth at 9.8 meters per second squared, but this does not seem to apply to DeAndre Jordan. That daring young man on the Los Angeles Clippers flies through the air with the greatest of ease.
Teammate Blake Griffin is renowned for his dunking, whether it be over a mid-sized sedan or a defender trying to contest a Chris Paul alley-oop pass. However, Jordan is even bigger than Griffin, and his dunking is even more impressive. Not only can DJ propel his mass high enough for his shoulders to touch the rim, but he can also levitate.
For example, consider this dunk against the in-town-rival Los Angeles Lakers. When Jordan jumps to dunk over Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum, it appears the dual 7-footers have the rim well-protected. Jordan seems to reach the pinnacle of his jump with two hands in his face—until he continues rising and crushes the slam.
For further proof, examine the mechanics of his destruction of Brandon Knight on this alley-oop. The pass is thrown slightly late, and Jordan hesitates as he times his jump from outside the restricted area. It appears as if Jordan more or less jumps vertically and then loses some momentum after his body makes contact with Knight's. But then Jordan keeps going upward and unfurls him arm to slam the ball home, uncoiling like a striking python.
During the month of February, Jordan averaged 16.0 points and 17.2 rebounds per game, drawing comparisons to Wilt Chamberlain as the closest similar talent. Now if Jordan could only develop the technology to shoot free throws.
Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder
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It's possible that the 2013-14 NBA MVP, Kevin Durant, has actually been keeping teammate Russell Westbrook down. Durant aggravated the Jones fracture injury in his foot during the Oklahoma City Thunder's Feb. 19 win over the Dallas Mavericks. In Westbrook's eight games since then, he's destroyed opposing defenses.
After outings with 33 points and 10 assists followed by 21 points and 17 assists, Westbrook then reeled off five triple-doubles in a six-game span, something no one has accomplished since Michael Jordan. The one game in which Russ fell short of the statistical feat, he still racked up 43 points, eight boards and seven assists.
Oh, and he's played the last three games with a broken face.
Westbrook has continued his torrid play in March after an incredible accomplishment in February, as noted by the ESPN Stats & Information blog: "He’s just the second player in NBA history to average 30 points, nine rebounds and 10 assists per game for a calendar month with at least 10 games played. He joins Oscar Robertson."
As Royce Young wrote on ESPN.com, Westbrook has enjoyed a "run of unhinged offensive domination that has produced one of the greatest months in NBA history."
While the Thunder play better as a team with Durant on the floor—they were 3-3 during Westbrook's incredible flurry of triple-doubles—no player brings a ruthless assault on the hoop like Westbrook. His single-minded attacking style appears like cold-blooded, quasi-robotic programming, and it's distinctly possible that he was sent from the future into the past simply to record triple-doubles.
For a 26-year-old point guard who measures just 6'3" and 200 pounds, it's been an unbelievable run of personal success, and his superlative play makes it a distinct possibility that he's not of this world.
LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
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ESPN lists LeBron James at 6'8", 250 pounds, which makes him slightly bigger than All-Pro NFL linebackers Von Miller and Luke Kuechly. And yet, neither of those football players could possibly muster the lift to dunk over Tim Duncan.
James is a physical specimen who somehow blends size and power in a unique amalgamation that never lumbers. Instead, he glides to the hoop as defenders assail him with aggressive hacks. But his athleticism is only the foundation for his game, as he has the intelligence and overall basketball IQ to play any of the five positions, sometimes in the same game.
Magic Johnson remains the only comparable talent in recent NBA history, as both players could just as easily run the point or body up against an opposing center in the paint. Like Magic, LeBron has proved himself a deft passer with the court vision to find an open teammate as defenders flock to help against the perennial MVP candidate.
Now in his 12th season, all James has done is average 27.4 points on 49.6 percent shooting, 7.1 rebounds, 6.9 assists and 1.7 steals per game over his career. And he can take control of a game seemingly at will.
Notice how no one ever says that LeBron is the best player from this planet; rather, he's the best player on the planet—a sly hedging of bets that confirms we do not know for sure whether he's legitimately from Akron, Ohio, or a far-flung galaxy. But he's certainly the best basketballer currently located on the face of the Earth.
Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans
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Anthony Davis has a wingspan roughly equivalent to a wandering albatross, and he's slightly better at flying than that bird too. Just six years ago, Davis was 6'2" and 175 pounds. Add on eight inches and 70 pounds, and you have 2014-15 Davis, a living, breathing, shot-blocking machine who can drain an elbow jumper or flush a dunk from just inside the foul line.
With a visage so iconic that he trademarked phrases related to his thick unibrow, the NBA's newest young superstar conspicuously stands out from the pack.
Through 50 games of the current season, Davis has eight outings with at least 20 points, 10 rebounds and five blocks, including a night of 39 points, 13 boards and eight blocked shots in a win over the Detroit Pistons on March 4, only a week in advance of his 22nd birthday. As tweeted by ESPN Stats and Info, all other players in the league have combined for just six such games this season.
And if Davis' ability to do things no other being on the planet can do isn't sufficient proof, consider the fact that he has made one three-pointer all season, a double-clutch, buzzer-beating, game-winning shot.
"Anthony Davis hit a double-clutch 30-footer in 1.2 seconds to win a game in his 45th minute. Alien until proven human.
— devin kharpertian (@uuords) February 7, 2015"
Either he's an alien, or his unibrow gives him special powers like Samson's hair.
