To Derrick Rose, Larry Bird, and Others: "It's Not Your Fault."

Sometimes, the only solution is a hug.  It's like that scene in Good Will Hunting when Will Hunting finally breaks down emotionally and lets the tears flow.  What else is his psychologist, Sean, going to do except give Will a hug and tell him "it's not your fault"?

NBA stars (including managers) are people too. Sometimes, at the end of the day, all the analytical arguments we can make on their behalf will go absolutely nowhere.  Sometimes, all they need is a hug and reassurance that it's not their fault.  

Larry Bird, General Manager, Indiana Pacers

Your small-market Pacers organization never had a shot at signing an NBA superstar in the free-agent market over the last several years.  So, through half a decade's worth of  intelligent draft picks, trades, and free-agent signings, you put together a team with some of the best skill players in the league. 

Every player on your squad plays physical defense, gets to the foul line (third most in the league) and protects the ball (7th in the league in turnovers).  Your bench is ten men deep. 

And yet, at the end of the day, your team just got defeated soundly by a Miami Heat Squad that is front loaded on max contracts.  It took the Heat one summer to put together a championship squad, while it took you what seems like forever just to get into the playoffs.

Super PACs suck, and life is just not fair, Larry.

And so you lashed out and you called your team "S-O-F-T" after they lost game 5 in the playoffs.  What was that about?  I know... 

You're mad now.  But don't be mad.  It's not your fault, Larry.  It's not your fault.     

Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

You're the 2011 MVP and one of the best guards in the NBA.  You also happen to be one of the most humble, hardest working athletes in all of sports. 

When your Bulls' team loses, there is enough pain in your face that fans worry if you're going to eat and sleep for the next few nights afterward. If you win a championship ring, even the most die hard Bulls hater will find happiness in your victory. 

Going into the shortened NBA season, you were surrounded by the most complete team in the NBA.   But then there is the bad news... you only played 39 out of 66 games due to a host of injuries.  You probably needed more time to recover, but you had no choice— it was playoffs time, and you were playing. 

Forty minutes into the playoffs and you tore your knee ligament; a brutal ACL tear that will take up to a year to heal.  As a result, the Bulls got knocked out of the first round by the #8 seed Philadelphia 76ers. The series didn't even go to seven games. 

We know you, Derrick— you blame this Bulls loss on yourself. 

Don't. 

Guilt leads to bad decisions.  Take your time and heal to the fullest extent, even if that means missing a good part of next year's regular season.  Chicago's heartbreak is not your fault.  Heartbreak is an inevitable part of life.   It's not your fault.    

Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks

You averaged 19 ppg, 11 rpg, and two blocked shots a game.  You lead the league in defensive win shares.

You're the best player on an otherwise average Atlanta Hawks squad that went on to be the #4 seed in the Eastern Conference.  And yet you didn't win a single regular season honor and you weren't an all-star. 

The sports media just doesn't like you all that much.  You're cantankerous and moody and just aren't as charismatic as some other less deserving regular season honor winners, like Carmelo Anthony, Dirk Nowitzki, or Kevin Garnett.

So the quality of your performance gets marginalized as a result.  It's OK—this happens to millions of employees every day.  It's not your fault, Josh.  It's not your fault. 

Pau Gasol, Los Angeles Lakers

You're one of the finer human beings on this planet.  In the off-season, you go around the world to perform community service in impovershed regions.  The "NBA Cares" in large part because you care. 

There is no doubt that when you retire from the NBA, your selfless approach to life will lead to a beautiful contribution to this universe. 

And what do you get as a reward for this?  Having to deal with Kobe Bryant on a regular basis. 

Yeah, if it weren't for you, Kobe wouldn't have his fourth and fifth championship rings in 2009 and 2010.  And you're one of the best power forwards of your era.  But Kobe still hates on you.  Hard.

Since 2010, you and Kobe haven't been winning, and now the bitch-fest has taken on grueling proportions.  You have to deal with Kobe calling you soft in front of the media on the regular, and if I had to guess, him texting you a couple hundred times a week with childish messages like "E-F-F-O-R-T" and "Ever heard of boxing out?" 

When you go home at night, you just want to have some Descartes and a warm bowl of soup, but all you can think about is Kobe up in your grill for three hours straight in the locker room the next day. 

And why—because you missed a single pick n' roll against the Charlotte Bobcats, who you wound up beating by 20 anyway.  It's terrible, but some people are just egomaniacs.  It's not your fault, Pau.  It's not your fault.

Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers

You know everything, which makes your life a constant burden. 

Take your teammate Pau Gasol for instance.  If he's a professional basketball player, he should be focused strictly on basketball, right?  What the hell was Pau doing reading Nietzche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" on an airplane flight when you gave him 300 plays to review before a game against the Charlotte Bobcats? 

And why does Metta World Peace keep demanding nine cards in a game of five-card draw?

The only person in the room who seems to respect your knowledge is Andrew Bynum, but that's about stuff relating to you tying his shoes for him. And Mike Brown seems to be too happy no matter if he's winning or losing, which is just not acceptable.

Also, the media speculates that you might not break Kareem Abdul Jabbar's scoring record because you "won't have enough in the tank." 

Idiots. 

Don't they know you're going to be averaging 20ppg when you are 40 because you're game is so supremely intelligent that any potential compromises in athleticism will be properly compensated for?

This whole situation is ridiculous, and whenever you are speaking to anyone, you feel like you're talking to a wall.  You wait eagerly until the day's over, so you can go home and talk in front of the mirror instead. 

You were just born this way, Kobe.  It's not your fault, son.  It's not your fault.