Top 14 Goals of the Week

The Christmas cliches are just too seasonal to avoid so, as is standard fanfare, let’s begin by saluting the turkeys from the past week in football.

Bologna’s Marcello Castellini was in full giving spirit as early as last Wednesday night, happy, as the last defender, to retardedly dance with two left feet on the ball and handing Mirko Vucinic an early holiday present.

And on the same night in the UEFA Cup, Valencia’s custodian Vicente Guaita attempted to smother a weak cross when horribly wrong, boobing the ball out his own grasp, with Ilan popping up to slot the loose ball in the net.

At White Hart Lane last Thursday, Gilberto’s error for the first Spartak goal was so bad that Harry Redknapp farted, “There’s not really a way back for him here.” While, if Emmanuel Adebayor is comforting himself sitting around the Christmas tree, sipping a glass of eggnog and cursing Howard Webb, credit must be given to Dutch footballer Joost Volmer of De Graafschap, who was guilty of possibly the most blatant and dirty elbow seen for quite some time when he laid out Ajax’s Luis Suarez on Sunday (3.20 minutes into the video).

Now onto the crackers.

Felipe Caicedo (pictured) becomes the first player ever to make the top goals list for two different goals both scored with his heel, and former Liverpool bench warmer Sebastian Leto arguably scores the goal of the week by forgetting his teammates to score a sublime solo effort.

Of the remaining strikes, power denied any of the keepers a chance to save goals 2, 4, 7 and 9, while goals 1, 6 & 11 were the result of perfect placement rather than pace. Lastly, standing alone in the crowd is goal 10, proving there is still a lot of quality in the lower leagues.

As always, all we ask is that you sit back and enjoy!

1. Hulk (v Amadora, Dec. 17, 2008)

2. Cristiano (v Al Ahly, Dec. 18, 2008)

3. Felipe Caicedo (v Racing Santander, Dec. 18, 2008) (last goal on the video)

4. Mounir El Hamdaoui (v Utrecht, Dec. 19, 2008)

5. Gonzalo Higuain (v Valencia, Dec. 20, 2008)

6. Maxi Rodriguez (v Espanyol, Dec. 20, 2008)

7. Steed Malbranque (v Hull, Dec. 20, 2008)

8. Sebastian Leto (v Thrasyvoulos, Dec. 20, 2008)

9. Mohammed Ali Kurtulus (v Genclerbirligi, Dec. 20, 2008)

10. Joe Garner (v Southampton, Dec. 20, 2008)

11. Juan Pablo Pino (v Bordeaux, Dec. 21, 2008)

12. Alou Diarra (v Monaco, Dec. 21, 2008) (1.15 minutes in the video)

13. Felipe Caicedo (v West Brom, Dec. 21, 2008)

14. Robin van Persie (v Liverpool, Dec. 21, 2008)

Narrowly missing out on this week’s list were goals from Cristian Rodriguez, Paulo Machado, Tomas Guzman, Filip Holosko, Nabil Baha, Jose Javier Barkero, Kaka and Robbie Keane.