If Looks Could Kill: World Football's 15 Biggest Pretty Boys
The life of a footballer can be a glorious one.
The recognition, the fame, the wealth—the perks of playing the beautiful game definitely has its upsides.
Footballers are the greatest athletes in the world, and I have no problem saying that.
The hard work and dedication they put in to prepare themselves for game day is unmatched. They are among the most alluring individuals in the world, and are often the subject of lust and envy from fans alike.
But sometimes a lot of this can go to a footballer’s head. When this happens, the reputation of such individual becomes increasingly scrutinized, and when a player is performing at the highest level and is also physically adored by the masses, they can be labeled as a pretty boy.
I feel arrogance and self-confidence is a fine line most footballers walk, but there is a select few who take their good looks and pricey hobbies and embrace it to the fullest.
Here is a list of the top 15 footballers we would categorize as pretty boys.
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Not all footballers are pretty. That is the inevitable truth.
But while they aren’t the best looking on the pitch, more often than not they are considered the best performer on it.
Here are your dishonorable mentions. No offense guys:
Lionel Messi – The world’s best footballer two years running is beautiful with the ball at his feet, but his haircut, fashion sense and teenage personality say otherwise.
Luka Modric – That gigantic nose and buck teeth don’t take away from the fact the Croatian midfield maestro is among the best in the EPL.
Peter Crouch – Crouch is tall, lanky, above average technically and good in the air, which are about the only things pretty about him.
Wayne Rooney – His love for out-of-wedlock buggery is well known, but the powerful striker should not take his beautiful wife for granted—considering how unattractive he is.
Carlos Tevez – The skills Carlitos displays on the pitch most certainly do not match his disgusting petulance off it.
Franc Ribery – After experiencing a drop in form due to issues unrelated to football, the scar-faced winger is back to terrorizing Bundesliga backlines on a regular basis.
Luis Suarez – Liverpool’s newest no. 7 is a biter, a national hero, a ruthless striker, a dribbling wizard; and one hideous man.
15. Thierry Henry
The legendary forward has had a long, successful career that spans almost two decades and two continents.
Currently plying his trade in New York with the Red Bulls, the Frenchman does shy away from the spotlight, and has played for some of the biggest clubs in the world.
And now he can add to his love of fashion and famous friends now that the striker is a resident of one of the trendiest cities in the world.
14. Mario Gomez
Lethal in front of goal, the German international is a shoe-in whenever his club and country select the starting XI.
The FC Bayern Munich forward is in scintillating form, and scoring goals has become as easy as looking good for the 26-year-old.
Oft-maligned for his looks, perhaps his boyish appearance and chic hairstyle changes are a distraction for opposing defenses—not that that is a problem in his eyes anyway.
13. Mario Balotelli
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Super Mario is super insane, and whether he is on the pitch or off it, entertainment is sure to follow.
Having been labeled as one of the world’s next superstars, Balotelli is a colorful character with a reckless personality.
His radical hair and attire choices have no limitations, just like his footballing skills.
12. Alex Pato
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AC Milan has their striker of the future in Pato, who combines pace, trickery and an eye for goal in beating Serie A opposition.
Critics are quick to call out the young Pato based on his habits, and his pretty boy image will not subside so long as he continues his ways.
11. Francesco Totti
Roman born and bred, the iconic striker has achieved just about everything there is in world football.
And since Italy is the fashion capital of the world, Totti has been the center of many ads and campaigns for the biggest names in fashion.
His success parallels his charisma, demeanor and longevity, and he has aged well both on and off the pitch.
10. Marco Borriello
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A teammate of Totti, it seems that not only Italians get it right, but specifically ones from AS Roma.
And they share a lot of the same similarities when it comes to women and hobbies, but Boriello takes it to a whole different level.
The striker has been a nomad of sorts over his career, and he is known throughout the Italian community for his frequent girlfriend changes. Nothing compares to this story though.
9. Xabi Alonso
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Tough, gritty, and one of the purest passers in the game, Alonso at first doesn’t stick out as a pretty boy footballer because he is unlike a lot of the others on this list.
The former Red doesn’t command the spotlight like others, but female footy enthusiast have plenty of opinions regarding the Spaniard, and a majority is positive.
Now with Real Madrid, he is a lynchpin for their midfield and eye candy for their fans.
8. Iker Casillas
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The Spanish shot stopper has been the number one choice for his club and country for quite some time.
“San Iker” has climbed football’s summit, and after winning the World Cup last summer, he bagged himself a nice little prize.
Let’s just hope he stays focused on the task at hand and not on looking good for his girl.
7. Sergio Ramos
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There is a mutual hatred from just about everyone outside of Madrid for Sergio Ramos, and although I am a big fan, I can see why this notion is warranted.
A passionate footballer who isn’t afraid to speak his mind—namely about rivals Barcelona—the versatile defender’s long locks and clean face are a staple to his representation as much as his playing prowess is.
Whether you love him or hate him, he is far too pretty to be playing next to someone like Pepe.
6. Yoann Gourcuff
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Arsenal isn’t the only ones targeting the French playmaker.
His career has been mixed but when he is on, Gourcuff is an extremely influential midfielder who has the capabilities to lead his national side.
Fans are quick to judge his inconsistency, but his pretty boy status is set in stone.
5. Ricardo Kaka
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4. Cesc Fabregas
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The former captain of Arsenal may have left a sour taste in many mouths when he left for powerhouse Barcelona, but his class is irrefutable and he is one of the best midfielders the game has to offer.
As his popularity has soared, so has his exposure to endorsements, and he is face of Nike’s Tiempo line as well as many other brands.
While it has taken no time for Fabs to adjust to life at the Camp Nou, his pretty boy attitude is accepted by everyone, as long as he keeps winning.
3. Fernando Torres
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A notorious pretty boy, El Nino may have spent a little but too much time in front of the mirror when he came to Chelsea.
After a torrid start, Torres is starting to settle a bit at Stamford Bridge but is still not justifying his outrageous price tag.
In all honesty, he needs to start getting his head right and not so much his hair right.
2. David Beckham
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A veteran of good looks, D Becks is the personification of this list in the first place.
An originator in his own right, Beckham’s career has been extraordinary and on the brink of his first appearance in the MLS Cup Finals, the tattooed one is coming full circle.
Honestly, I feel he gets it from his wife Victoria though.
1. Cristiano Ronaldo
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Who did you expect would top this list?!
CR7 is every woman’s dream and every man’s worst enemy. He is tall, dark, handsome, rich and an ungodly footballer, something many can’t stake a claim to.