Top 12 World Football Managers Who Need to Retire Now
Players often bear the brunt of fan criticism, but managers take their fair share of vitriol as well. There's no discounting the effect a managerial change can have on a club: it can galvanize a sputtering side, instilling a quiet confidence that bodes well for the future.
While some managers jump from club to club without ever really settling down (Mourinho, Villas Boas to name a few...Portuguese examples), others enjoy a more stable lifestyle, staying at their club until they can retire on their own terms.
Some coaches stay long enough to win one thing, then bolt out of town before the good thing they created has the chance to turn sour.
No matter which category these footballing headmasters may fall into, here is a list in no particular order of twelve managers that should be taking the exit door to retirement sooner rather than later. They've done enough. In some cases, they might even be holding back a side.
Sven-Göran Eriksson: Leicester City
Since his time as the manager of the English national team, Sven-Göran Eriksson has failed to win more than 47 percent of his games at any club.
Currently with Leicester City, Eriksson has been pinballed around the world, taking his talents to Manchester City, Mexico, Ivory Coast and now Leicester City with a short stint at Notts County as well.
Its time to hang it up Sven, I much prefer you as a character from Special 1 TV. Get out before you unwittingly give another tell-all interview to an undercover investigative reporter.
Avram Grant: Recently Sacked
Since 2002 Avram Grant has plummeted down the ranks of Football managers in the World. The man who rivals current Spanish national team boss Vincente del Bosque for best "Eeyore" impression" has yet to find a new appointment after receiving the sack from West Ham at the end of last season's relegation.
Given his past nine years of falterings I do not see a prominent club taking a chance on him in the near future.
Taking over for Jose Mourinho after the Portuguese's abrupt departure in September, 2007, the Israeli Grant helped steer the Blues to second place in the final league standings, runners-up in the Champions League after a penalty shootout, and victory in the Carling Cup.
While he did a more-than-adequate job in a caretaker role, he can't take a whole lot of the credit for a squad largely developed by Mourinho.
From Chelsea he moved to Fratton Park to take over Portsmouth FC after Harry Redknapp left for Tottenham. His record with Pompey lasted a deplorable 33 games, with 10 wins, seven draws and 16 losses amounting to a dour 30 percent winning ratio and eventual relegation. He did take them to the 2009 FA Cup final, but lost there.
Last season he led West Ham to a similar fate as Portsmouth. At 56 its time to hang it up and pursue other things in life.
Luiz Felipe Scolari: Palmeiras
Yes Luiz Felipe Scolari won the 2002 World Cup with Brazil, but only Raymond Domenech could have fudged up a tournament with a squad that talented.
His moving about makes him seem more vagabond than world-class manager.
He can go from winning a no-name league in 2009 with FC Bunyodkor in Uzbekistan, to making a second trip back to Palmeiras in his homeland of Brazil. His first time in charge of them from 1999-2000, he only had a 47 percent winning percentage. Last year it was only 36 percent, not the most auspicious of returns.
He seems more hype than substance, as his much-hailed unveiling as Chelsea's coach for the 2008-09 season soon gave way to widespread criticism, as he seemed unable to ever adequately motivate the side, before being replaced by Guus Hiddink mid-season.
For a career his winning percentage is under 45 percent. For someone with nearly 30 years in the management field, perhaps it's time to find another occupation where mediocrity is a welcome attribute.
John Still: Dagenham & Redbridge
While John Still is the fifth-longest tenured manager in England at the moment, his last 17 years as a head coach have seen him crawl to a winning percentage of 37 percent.
He's spent most of his career on the hot seat of Dagenham and Redbridge, but after failing to remain in League One after finally winning a second promotion for his current contract, he could be on the way back out.
He is likely to never progress any higher in the managerial hierarchy and it is nearing time for him to take the long walk.
Steve Keane: Blackburn Rovers
Seriously, please just get it over for all of us. Last season the Rover's faithful had to endure 23 games under the former Coventry City assistant manager. In all honesty he was a dreadful replacement for Sam Allardyce as the "big walrus" finally had his side getting results.
However Keane almost led the team on a Lemming'd charge back to the Championship, as his time in charge saw the club fall to 10 defeats, seven draws and only 6 wins.
He also is the most recent manager to be banned from the roads after being convicted to operating a vehicle under the influence. I guess he is talking the taxi for the next 18 months.
Hopefully this spell with Rovers will end quickly, and his lack of tactical proficiency will cease to cast a pall over Blackburn.
Dario Gradi: Crewe Alexandra
Dario Gradi is a legend at Crewe Alexandra. He has streets and bands named in his honor. He is the oldest manager in the Football League, having recently turned 70.
However, despite being so highly praised, his club is a usual mid-table to bottom-feeder in the fourth tier of English football. With no real belief that they will see promotion again anytime soon, Gradi should start thinking of retirement.
In his career with Crewe, he has taken command of 1,345 matches, achieving 496 wins, 327 draws and 522 losses. Nothing for the history books, to be certain.
His combined winning percentage is 36.8 percent, but on the bright-side he did have an additional 24 percent chance of earning at least a point.
Its time to head out to pasture old friend.
Julian Dicks: Currently on the Lookout
Julian Dicks was a decent player, earning the majority of his accolades with West Ham. However, just because you played doesn't automatically make you a successful manager.
Dicks' first job saw him crawl to a 14 percent winning percentage over 21 games in the second half of Wivenhoe Town's 2008-09 season.
Somehow he managed to land another job—this time with Grays Athletic, where he was twice as efficient—all the way to 30 percent in the win column. After 92 games at the helm and nearly twice as many losses as wins he parted ways—via mutual consent of course.
You are 43 you still have time to go out and do something you are good at, besides managing. Which you are not good at. At all.
Bryan Robson: Recently Sacked
Most recently employed as Thiland's national team coach, Bryan Robson had a great playing career, but seems destined to add to the list of successful footballers-turned-mediocre managers.
His career winning percentage is only 34 percent. It's a figure that threatens to drop even lower, as his recent campaigns have seen him struggle for points.
Once again out of work, Robson might have to start in a new market to gain employment as the South Pacific has grown wise to his shortcomings as a manager. He might need to strike out for Africa at this rate. A new continent after every failure.
Ruud Gullit: Recently Sacked
Ruud Gullit started at the top with Chelsea, which meant he could only go down. The once-masterful player has failed to reach any semblance of the heights he once enjoyed.
His most recent sacking by Russian Premier League side FC Terek Grozny after only 11 games proves he just can not cut it at any country's top level.
Time to call it quits and stay behind the news anchor desk.
Vanderlei Luxemburgo: Flamengo
Vanderlei Luxemburgo's best days have come as a club-team manager in Brazil. He's never succeeded in winning any major silverware when he's ventured away from his homeland.
He and Luiz Felipe Scolari share an uncanny knack for bouncing around clubs with abandon. Luxemburgo has most recently returned to one of his former clubs, historic Brazilian side Flamengo.
He is a national icon in his homeland, and with his 60th birthday coming up, he would receive a hero's weapon were he to make a dash for retirement.
Mick Wadsworth: Hartlepool
Former striker Mick Wadsworth has done little in the way of earning appointments as manager, but somehow the chances keep on a' comin'.
With 16 different positions in 25 years, the Englishman has enjoyed a less-than-stellar career at the helm of clubs. However, he just joined Hartlepool on a permanent basis and will hope to make a last splash.
If this latest experiment goes south as expected, it'll be time for Wadsworth to take the long walk.
Sir Alex Ferguson: Manchester United
Just kidding. Despite his age or time on the sidelines the old Scot is as good as ever. He continues to redefine the meaning of what a great manager truly is.
His career has seen him oversee 2049 games with a record of 1184 wins, 474 draws and 391 losses for a winning percentage of 59.25 percent.
There is no way he should retire. I honestly believe he should at least stay until he wins his 1000th game at the helm of Manchester United, whom he has guided to the forefront of English football. Winner of 48 pieces of silverware during his career, which has spanned four clubs, Ferguson remains the most brilliant tactician in the world.
Even as a Liverpool fan, I can honestly tell you there is no other manager I have more respect for.