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The Toon Army might suggest he Ashley hang himself with that scarf.
It's daunting to come up with an explanation of how a self-made millionaire and business success like Mike Ashley could become the worst owner in world football.
While Newcastle wasn't exactly stable under flippant chairman Freddie Sheppard, Ashley's ownership has seen five managerial changes in barely six years.
Since 2003, Newcastle United as seen the arrival and departure eight managers: Robson, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce, Keegan, Kinnear, Shearer and Hughton. Continuing this ratty tradition of ill-timed change hasn't helped.
After having his life threatened and then trying to sell the club, Ashley decided last season to prolong his own tenure of toxic mediocrity at St James Park by resuming his helm and hiring Alan Pardew as the ninth boss in a decade. Ashley's next firing shouldn't be a surprise whenever it happens, nor should Newcastle's unfortunate relegation to the lower leagues.
Under Mike Ashley, Newcastle United has really become "Newcastle Untied," a fragile shell of its former self.
It is sad to say that this once world-class club has been reduced to a merry-go-round of bad management tactics, and a textbook case for students of sports business on how not to run a football club. Unless, of course, failure is your goal.