Manchester United Transfer Rumors: Is Ashley Young Transfer a Mistake?

Last September, the Glazers assured Wayne Rooney that £50million would be available for transfers this summer. That assurance, along with the minor incentive of a salary that would put the GDP of several minor nations to shame, was enough to commit Rooney to a 5-year contract.

And then Sir Alex Ferguson commented that “you cannot be sentimental in this job”. Naturally, the tabloids began to link United with a legion of players sizable enough to give the Chinese army a run for its money. Although if such an unlikely scenario were to materialize, it remains unclear which side would command the loyalties of United legend Dong Fangzhuo.

While some of the players linked with United merit the flattery, the rumours flatter the merits of the majority.

United fans will welcome those who fall in the former group, such as Wesley Sneijder, Alexis Sanchez and assassins willing to accept the Michael Carrick assignment. However, they are less than enthusiastic about the latter group including Spurs (one-hit) wonder kid Gareth Bale, David Vaughan's puppet at Blackpool—Charlie Adam—and the artist formerly known as Andrea Pirlo (unsurprisingly, we have the Daily Mail to thank for this rumour).

The one person who has split the terraces, however, is Ashley Young. So join us for a thorough examination of his off-webcam talents which should decide whether United, like Arsene Wenger, should buy Young (if you pardon the pun). Of course, what we think will hardly change Fergie's mind, but at least we will get an idea of the welcome that will greet Young when his transfer finally goes through.

Forever Young?

The England international is gifted with the agility to turn half the Chelsea defence inside out (not to be confused with John Terry, whose gift is the ability to turn half their wives inside out) and enough pace to rip a hole in the space-time continuum.

For Aston Villa, Young was the one shining constant in a season of relegation scares and French managerial nightmares. The winger displayed a consistency that belied his tender age, and then proceeded to display significantly more during an on-line date so raunchy that it earned him an England call-up.

He can operate on the left or right wing, cut in from both and provide an explosive finish on a par with any Michael Bay movie. Additionally, he can slot into an attacking midfielder role if needed, acting as a link between playmaker and front men. Finally, he can also partner Chicharito up front, providing another target for the cutting through ball from Wayne Rooney.

Without a doubt, Young is at his strongest during a counter-attack. He provides that essential outlet along the flank and seems to intuitively find the emerging gaps to pick up the return ball. Finally, the vicious curl on his shots may be the straw that breaks Nani's stronghold on the United left wing.

Or Never?

On the other hand, Young fulfills exactly the same role that Nani does on United's left flank. And the last time anyone checked, Nani's showing was not exactly bad. He had a thriller of a season and was always dangerous. All in all, you might say he was quite the smooth criminal with nine goals and 18 assists.

Unlike Antonio Valencia and the aforementioned Michael Jackson double, Young has no experience in the Champions League. Quite like Nani, however, Young carries a chip on his shoulder large enough to bankrupt the world bank of guacamole.

Nani has just as much pace as Young and, if possible, a bigger bag of tricks. He is also a year and a half younger than the Villa speedster, meaning that composure seen in the England international will soon emerge in his Portuguese counterpart. Of course, there is also his explosive goal celebration which may drive Sir Alex up the wall, but sure is great entertainment value.

The only aspects of his game that require work are his consistency, aerial threat and accuracy in front of goal. Nani relies far too much on that Ronaldo-esque thump that causes the ball to swerve unpredictably but comes with an inherent accuracy. If he can add that curling shot and a strong header to his portfolio, he renders the question of Ashley Young irrelevant.

Finally, on a personal note, the author strongly believes that Nani has come on in leaps and bounds and given the chance, will showcase a consistently brilliant array of talent this coming season. It is no exaggeration to say that his travails this past season won United the Premier League and he deserves the opportunity to go one better next season.

The Verdict

With that in mind, the £18million Sir Alex is rumoured to have earmarked for the Villa Park talent might be better spent on that much-needed central midfielder in the mold of Samir Nasri or Eden Hazard. It should also be noted that Antonio Valencia was not mentioned here because (like Park Ji Sung) he seems to be an iron-clad starter in important fixtures and nothing can change that.

Feel free to leave a comment if you agree, disagree or think the writer is such a thorough nutjob that he should serve time in a sanitarium—or "mi casa", as Diego Maradona calls it.

Disclaimer

Bleacher Report knows nothing about any assassination plots and/or transfer bids targeting Michael Carrick. While we completely understand the lack of the latter, the conspicuous absence of the former raises questions that shake the foundations of karmic justice.

Also, an official writ from Maradona's lawyers means Bleacher Report must retract any claims that El Diego lives at a mental institution. The writ also insists that Bleacher Report must mention that Diego Maradona likes women. He likes women, he is going out with Veronica who is blond, 31 years old and very pretty. Bleacher Report found this rather irrelevant, but for the life of us could not understand what would prompt this clause to be included in the writ.