''Scoring a goal is better than sex," according to beleaguered West Ham manager Avram Grant this week.
Just days earlier, Barcelona midfielder and World Cup winner Xavi had compared winning ''El Clasico'' to having an orgasm.
If football and scoring goals are such a rush, why don't more players celebrate by riding a human bicycle (pictured), by conducting a tribal dance around a team shirt or even with just a gentleman's handshake (both to come)?
In this wonderfully eclectic video and photo slideshow, I bring you 50 athletic, bizarre, funny and original goal celebrations from the last 30 years from around the world.
Last year, Icelandic football team F.C. Stjarnan hit the headlines in the international press for the eccentric and funny goal celebrations.
Here is the first of several efforts which make my Top 50, ''The Rambo."
After Facundo Sava scored his second goal for new club Fulham back in 2002, he proceded to bizarrely pull a Zorro mask from his sock. For his first goal, he had not yet had his collection of 250 masks shipped over from Argentina!
These Nigerian kids had a great time celebrating a goal for their national team recently, despite the larger boy's eye suggesting some more menacing event.
After scoring against Bolton in 1998, Newcastle and Georgia striker Temuri Ketsbaia vented his frustration at manager Ruud Gullit's lack of faith in his abilities by attacking the advertising boards in spectacular fashion.
When Carlos Tevez moved from one side of Manchester to the other, United fans were understandably upset.
However, the diminutive Argentine decided to let them know what he thought of the abuse he received with this ill-advised gesture towards them.
The second entry from our friends from Iceland sees the goalscorer take the pin out of his grenade and wait with his teammates for an explosion and spectacular fall back.
The saying goes that Bolton's Nigerian maestro was so good that they named him twice.
We also knew him for his funny celebrations, included this one (at 0:28) where he jerks his leg up behind his back continuously.
A brilliant and massive goal for African football, the first at this year's FIFA World Cup, was followed by a suitably joyful and exotic celebration led by scorer Siphiwe Tshabalala.
Gangly England and Spurs striker became a cult hero after he magically transformed himself into a maladroit, arthritic robot to celebrate a goal for his national team. He was soon dissuaded by the powers that be (and probably his mates).
Third entry for the ice-cool Icelanders. I'm not sure what Strictly Come Dancing judge Len Goodman would think of their elegance and poise...
African footballers are known for their dancing: the good, the bad and...the Eboue.
The Arsenal defender shows off his lack of skills 18 seconds into this clip in what can only be described as an attempt to mimic a constipated duck.
The goal that made a name for Diop, causing one of the greatest shocks in the history of the FIFA World Cup, the former Fulham midfielder celebrated by taking off his shirt, placing it on the floor and proceeding to conduct a tribal dance around it by the corner flag. Its meaning? Beats me...
One of the only white footballers with an athletic and coordinated goal celebration, Irishman Robbie Keane has perfected his handstand, flip and pump over the years.
A big goal and an original celebration, a memorable moment in South Korea's wonderful run in the 2002 FIFA World Cup came when Hwan scored dramatically late on against the US and celebrated by pretending to speed skate.
Reacting sarcastically to media stories that he had chased teammate John Arne Riise around with a goal club following an off-pitch argument, Craig Bellamy hit his critics into the rough with a mock golf swing.
Putting Robbie Keane to shame for years with a series of acrobatic flips, Lua Lua certainly knew how to celebrate his successes in English football.
It was all going so well for Cisse: He'd scored a goal and was heading towards his fans to celebrate, but then he went and blew it all by doing something stupid like an attempt at a backward flip (0:16 in the video). Ten out of 10, however, for his impressive recovery from an awkward and embarrassing stumble!
A flipping brilliant player, as proven by his wonderful goals and this highly athletic celebration.
Despite the clip's inappropriate music, you can still appreciate the Brazilian flare and rhythm which lit up the Bernabeu stadium on this night.
Despite heading into the twilight years of his career with diminishing skills and goalscoring ability, charismatic forward Ian Wright produced a weirdly memorable celebration after scoring for Celtic when he nosedived, kissed his hand and finally lifted his shirt above his head before running around blindly. A real gem!
David Pleat had reason to celebrate in 1983 when he miraculously led his team Luton Town to a remarkable turnaround to escape relegation.
His skipping and fist-pumping is legendary in English football.
What do you do when you score an important goal for your beloved team?
If you are Livorno's Cristiano Lucarelli, you take off your shirt and start humping it. Well, if it works for him...
Celebration Mk IV for F.C. Stjarnan sees the YouTube Allstars re-enact the opening of a bobsled run, much to the delight of their expectant fans.
How do you react when you score a goal against a team which sacked you for being a disruptive and violent influence? Why by play fighting, of course!
The second entry for Bafana Bafana sees three of their players pretending to ride what could only be pygmies or possibly large rabbits on the touchline. Where's Wally?