Biggest Pukers in Sports
Sports is sometimes refined. From the beauty of a 40-yard spiral completion to the majestic quality of a figure skater dancing around on ice, sports can be breathtaking.
Sports can also be one jumbled mess; fighting, turnovers, penalties, etc. I feel, though, there hasn't been enough time and energy dedicated to perhaps the messiest part of sports, puking.
The act can come at anytime, whether from a brutal hit taken on the gridiron or a bad clam eaten hours earlier. All I know is, you can't look away. Much like a NASCAR accident, you don't want to see it, but you sure as hell will not miss the chance to rewind and play it back ad nauseum.
Here are the best and brightest pukers in sports.
Honorable Mention: Michael Irvin
Okay, so Michael Irvin is not the one throwing up here. It's his contestants on his new show "4th and Long," who are taking it upon themselves to boot all over the field.
I have never coached football players, but I'm fairly certain they're not supposed to pop all over the field and sidelines. Mr. Irvin, you may be doing too much wrong here.
Honorable Mention: Wrestlers
Quick, what is more embarrassing than getting trounced in front of all your family and friends?
How about puking?
Yes, that would do it.
Honorable Mention: Riley Cooper
Don't you dare play that off, Riley Cooper.
We all saw you puke on the field.
Don't run away like we didn't see you do it.
10. Matt Ryan
Before he was "Matty Ice," he was simply Matt Ryan, and before this Boston College game, he must have eaten at Burritos Emporium.
The greatest part is the announcer espousing Ryan's gifts while he gets sick on national television. Imagine losing your lunch in the confined space of your bathroom as some analyst goes on and on about how great you are.
Doesn't quite fit does it?
9. Donovan McNabb
This actually might have been a perfect Campbell's Chunky Soup segue, but I won't do it.
I am above such jokes and easy targets.
No, I will not mention the Campbell's soup McNabb touted for so long or its chunky qualities.
8. Chris Mroz
Ah, the highest of highs to the lowest of lows—such is sports.
Aside from the annoying commentator on this video, my main problem is Mroz sees fit to puke all over the field.
Imagine being on the other team. "Thanks buddy, you know we intend on playing around here right?"
7. Phillies Fans
This is why I will never set foot into the city of Philadelphia. I will gladly have my cheese steaks delivered to the city border, thank you very much.
6. Cade McNown
Sometimes you just have to puke, and Cade McNown had the misfortune of doing it in front of thousands at the Rose Bowl.
My favorite part of the video is Brent Musburger, who tries to talk about anything but the extreme vomit video we are all witness to.
I may be dumb Brent, but I'm certainly not blind.
5. Pete Sampras
Have you ever been so exhausted from working out that you puked?
Me neither. Sampras did though, and it was marvelous.
4. Robert Ferguson
I had 21 shots of vodka once, and as you can imagine, the next morning was a whirlwind of excitement for those around me.
I wish I had been Robert Ferguson that day. Perhaps it might have been easier to have my back rubbed by an NFL coordinator as I chucked. It might have been a fantastic experience if hundreds of people cheered me on during it. Alas though, it was just me, a toilet and destiny.
The only thing missing from this is a coach holding Ferguson's hair back.
3. Alvin Gentry
When you puke, you usually want to be confined to a dark corner where no one can see you.
Alvin Gentry had the pleasure of puking in front of thousands, including Jack Nicholson and other celebrities, at the Staples Center.
Booting at your favorite dive bar doesn't seem so bad now, does it?
2. Jahvid Best
This video has it all.
It features a brutal hit, followed by running back Jahvid Best losing what I assume is lima bean soup all over the field.
I have been in a similar predicament, but a fifth of tequila was the culprit. Hooray, me!
1. David Beckham
Here is the sexiest man in the world losing his lunch.
Well, no one told you to run for 90 minutes straight. Just lay on the couch the rest of your life.