So I'm a huge football fan...real American football, not soccer. However like many various sports fans and regular ol' civilians across the world, I've caught World Cup fever. I watched at least five full length matches, and bits and pieces of nearly all of them.
I was really excited for the final World Cup match. Two brand new teams, bright orange uniforms, Tivo'ing the commercials...it was gonna be great. I'd even gotten in the mood by attending a Portland Timbers soccer game the night before.
And after that "hard fought" 1-0 match, I realized something.
That was by and far the worst sporting event I'd ever watched in my entire life. And there's but one person to blame for this: Howard Webb.
This man single-handedly killed my World Cup fever. Well, him and 11 cheating, utterly disgusting Spanish soccer players.
So I'd like to write a little something to show my gratitude for Mr. Webb.
Dear Howard Webb,
As you well know the World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world. It gives even American football fans like me the fever, and is known to unite countries together in a way that not even the Olympics can accomplish.
I rooted for the US until they were eliminated by Ghana. From then on any game I watched I just rooted for the underdog. The same was true in today's championship match between the Netherlands and Spain. I have no ties to either team, but it looked as if the Dutch were underdogs, so I went with them. Plus, their coffee is better.
You sir carded nine Dutch players throughout the match. Only two, TWO out of the nine were reasonable bookings. Mr. Webb—you are a bloody idiot who does not deserve to referee any World Cup event, much less my high school indoor soccer team.
You caused Spain to win the game. What was it? You hate orange? You're nationalistic?
Whatever the reason, you ruined the game. Several times you happened to "miss" fouls by Spanish players. I wasn't aware goalies knocking the ball out was rewarded in a goal kick, and that tackling players was somehow legal in soccer! Must be a Spain thing.
Mr. Webb I say again, you ruined the World Cup. I hated Spain five minutes in for starting that flopping crap, but you believed it!?! Every time that jackass with the long hair fell over, there you were, carding Dutch players like you're getting paid for it. Which I'm sure you were.
That was the worst officiating I've ever witnessed in any sporting event I've ever seen. Congratulations...I hope Spain paid you well.
With all sincerity,
Your biggest hater