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Stefan Kießling's biggest foes: opposing defenders, Joachim Löw  and Andre Schurrle.
Schurrle needs to facilitate, but he literally plays himself as a No. 9 (he does wear the number) despite being a wide forward.
He has less assists (5) than Stefan (7) and Andre's created shots per game (1.2) is significantly inferior to Bayer Leverkusen's actual centre forward (2.1).
If you haven't been following Andre this season, think Daniel Sturridge when the current Liverpool forward was forced to the wings at Chelsea.
Speaking of the Blues, they want to sign Schurrle (per Charles Perrin at The Express) in a deal that has so many holes in it.
1. £22 million plus Kevin De Bruyne (on loan) excessively favours Bayer.
72 players in Europe's top leagues have scored more (10+) than Andre.
95 players have accumulated more assists (6+) than Schurrle.
2. Why would Bayer take Kevin on loan when they can spend a chunk of the £22 million on a full-time replacement?
3. Assuming CFC don't feel De Bruyne is ready for first-team football, wouldn't it make more sense to loan him out to a Premier League team?
4. Let's say Leverkusen wanted £22 million and another Chelsea player—why KDB? Marko Marin, who has no future at the London club, would be a more logical target for Bayer 04.
 a reference to Joachim strangely dismissing Kießling as a viable forward for the national team.