New York Yankees: 10 New Phrases to Add to Your Bronx Bomber Home Run Alphabet

Scott MurphyContributor IIJune 22, 2011

New York Yankees: 10 New Phrases to Add to Your Bronx Bomber Home Run Alphabet

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    No sport’s big-play vernacular is more creative and fun than baseball’s home run calls. They range from signature sendoffs to local lexicon.  

    Whether you’re walloping a Wiffle ball in the backyard, vaporizing one in a video game, or watching a walk-off in Game 7 of the World Series, it’s always electric when someone goes yard, especially a Bronx Bomber.  It's probably not going too far to say George Herman invented screaming-dot swagger. 

    Yankee Nation deserves its own "Home Run Alphabet."  Here are 10 must-have pinstripe phrases for phat flights to help you liven up your longball lingo.

Home Run Alphabet #10

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    "Rides the Thrill Rides in Ruth Land"

    What's a Home Run Alphabet without the Sultan of Swat?  The Bambino downloaded 714 free souvenirs and turned repurposing pitches into a religion fit for The Cathedral.

Home Run Alphabet #9

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    "Smack My Pitch Up"

    Sure, it's a thinly-veiled reference to the more descriptive late-'90s song by The Prodigy, but pinstripe jackhammers are always launched with more swagger! 

Home Run Alphabet #8

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    "Omelet of Tasty Runs"

    An omelet is a dish made with beaten eggs.  Murderer's Row popularized beaten baseballs.

      According to U-Facts, the world's largest omelet was created by the Lung Association in Brockville Centre in Ontario, Canada, on May 22, 2002.  It weighed 2.95 tons (6,510 pounds).    

Home Run Alphabet #7

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    "Keys the Opposing Team's Bus"

    We know, MLB players don't travel by bus, but we couldn't resist the old-world charm of this one.  Besides, admit it, how many times have you mentally keyed the luxury ride of a Yankee opponent?

Home Run Alphabet #6

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    "Tree Ornaments"

    There's no proof that any of the Yankees are actually card-carrying members of any arbor society, but we've completed the paperwork for several of the New Yorkers to receive an honorary classification of "Certified Arborist." 

    To be a Certified Arborist, you need to have a minimum of three years of full-time experience working in the professional tree care industry.  Never mind the extensive examination, Curtis Granderson's 21 current sky kissers should prove sufficient to the society. 

Home Run Alphabet #5

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    "Earns Frequent Flyer Miles"

    According to frequentflyerservices.com, the world's frequent flyer programs boast more than 180 million members with almost 10 trillion outstanding miles.  The site estimates that more than 300,000 frequent flyers have earned at least 1 million miles in their programs.  There is no mention of how many of them are Yankees. 

    Throwing around all of these numbers in the millions brings to mind two things.  No. 1, A-Rod's salary.  No. 2, one proud New York fan's quote, "There are a million teams that play baseball, but only one team is baseball!" 

Home Run Alphabet #4

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    "Seat Pizza"

    Sure, we want to tell you that each year in the United States there are 3 billion pizzas sold.  You should also know that the U.S. has 61,269 pizza parlors and pizza is a $30 billion industry.  Also, the people of America eat around 350 slices of pizza each second, or 100 acres per day.  All of that according to homemade-pizza-made-easy.com. 

    We should also note that some people refer to sex as "pizza."  This seems to come from the idea that even when either one of them isn't the best, it is still pretty darn good.  

    Finally, since we went there with this entry, it's only natural that we are using Captain D's picture for it.  Try as we might to uncover it, there is no proof that No. 2's nickname for Minka is "pepperoni."     

Home Run Alphabet #3

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    "Aces Wood Shop"

    OK, given the text of the last entry, we are not going there with this one.  We also thought it was fun to include a pic of big C.C. launching the lumber.  There's never been a more productive wood shop than Yankee Stadium.  This one's dedicated to all of you that still have that foot stool or memo holder you spent way too long staining in wood shop back in the day. 

Home Run Alphabet #2

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    "Howitzer"

    Is there a more accurate term for goosing the upper deck than "howitzer?"  By definition, a howitzer is a type of artillery piece used to propel projectiles at high trajectories with a steep angle of descent.  We don't know if Abner Doubleday knew much about howitzers, so we're nominating Yankee Stadium's Roll Call bleacher creatures as our unofficial experts on the subject.   

DRUM ROLL, PLEASE. Home Run Alphabet #1

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    "Makes the Pretty Girls Wiggle"

    Our extremely unofficial research shows that homers in Yankee Stadium have made more pretty girls wiggle than any other venue, baseball or otherwise.  It may have first been fully recognized with the magnificent Marilyn, but the timeless tradition is alive and well.  Very well.  If you need us to do more research, just say the word, Yankee Nation! 

    Award-winning writer R. Scott Murphy offers a new entry for the Home Run Alphabet each day @MentalKickball on Twitter.  For even more Home Run Alphabet entries, get nearly 1,000 ways to portray these popular plays in Murphy's new baseball book "Ducks on the Pond."  R. Scott Murphy's official home on the web is www.officialmidnitewriter.com.

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