Getting Crazy with the NBA Trade Machine Ahead of 2016 Deadline
Friends don't let friends lose themselves in ESPN's NBA Trade Machine shenanigans.
Unless, of course, it's for the good of the Association's Feb. 18 trade deadline. Then it's OK.
All of the forthcoming deals are totally serious and completely feasible. (Aside: I'm lying. Some are serious, some aren't.) The images we've linked to have not been Photoshopped or altered in any way. (Update: Still lying.)
To the hypothetical trading table!
Four-Team Blockbuster for the Win
Atlanta Hawks Receive: PG Trey Burke, SG Alec Burks, PF David Lee and 2016 first-round pick (via Brooklyn Nets)
Boston Celtics Receive: PF Blake Griffin and SG Lance Stephenson
Los Angeles Clippers Receive: SG Avery Bradley, PF Paul Millsap, PF/C Kelly Olynyk and 2016 first-round pick (via Dallas Mavericks)
Utah Jazz Receive: PG Terry Rozier, SG Thabo Sefolosha and PG Jeff Teague
If you're scared, don't be.
Since Blake Griffin last played on Dec. 25, the Los Angeles Clippers are 15-3 and have posted the league's third-best net rating. Paul Millsap is a better fit for what the Clippers need (see: shooting and defense), while the Boston Celtics have enough talent to remain in the playoff picture until Griffin returns from a fractured right hand.
For the Atlanta Hawks' part, they need flexibility to re-sign Al Horford this summer and are already shopping Jeff Teague, according to the Vertical's Chris Mannix and Adrian Wojnarowski. The Brooklyn Nets' 2016 pick they get from Boston is a great consolation prize for hitting the quasi-reset button.
There should be zero qualms on the Utah Jazz's behalf. Teague has All-Star credentials and can find seams in the defense even when the Derrick Favors-Rudy Gobert duo is clogging the paint. Grabbing him for a couple of underachieving guards is awesome sauce, and Atlanta is unlikely to be scared away by Burks' injury, since he's still only 24 years old.
New Orleans Finally Takes the Hint
Memphis Grizzlies Receive: PF Ryan Anderson, C Omer Asik and SG Tyreke Evans
New Orleans Pelicans Receive: SG Jordan Adams, SG Vince Carter, SF/PF Jeff Green, SG Courtney Lee and PF Brandan Wright
It's possible the New Orleans Pelicans rebound from their cruddy start and make the playoffs. They are less than five games outside the West's bubble, but clinching an eighth-seeded playoff berth only guarantees a first-round exit against the Golden State Warriors.
Clearing the decks and drumming up the value of their first-round pick makes more sense than chasing that opening-round exodus. If the Pelicans can enter this summer with boatloads of cap space and a top-five selection, they're in business.
The Memphis Grizzlies, conversely, need to double down on their current model. Marc Gasol isn't getting any younger, and the team has no plans to let Mike Conley walk in free agency, per CBS Sports' Matt Moore. Maximizing this season's ceiling is a must.
Tyreke Evans is dealing with tendinitis in his surgically repaired right knee, but Pelicans head coach Alvin Gentry, per John Reid of the Times-Picayune, downplayed the severity of his injury.
Evans makes the Grizzlies more athletic and versatile; Ryan Anderson is frontcourt shooting Memphis can only dream about; and Omer Asik, while expensive, might look like an actual NBA player coming off the bench within the Grizzlies' slow-paced system.
#FreeHinkie
Philadelphia 76ers Receive: GM Ryan McDonough
Phoenix Suns Receive: GM Sam Hinkie
Sam Hinkie deserves a chance to see his tanking model through. And if the Philadelphia 76ers aren't going to give their general manager that opportunity, instead tethering him to Jerry Colangelo's expedited blueprint, another team should.
Ryan McDonough, general manager of the Phoenix Suns, isn't looking so hot right now. He has drafted OK and absolutely fleeced the Clippers in that Eric Bledsoe trade. But in the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately NBA, the past doesn't buy you much time.
Shoot, as the man most responsible for the Suns' implosive roster, you could argue, as Fox Sports' Brett Pollakoff did, that McDonough is only still employed because of a technicality:
In sum: Trading NBA GMs should be a thing.
Coach Pop Is Magic
Los Angeles Lakers Receive: PF Brandon Bass, SG Kobe Bryant, C Roy Hibbert, SG Lou Williams and SG/SF Nick Young
San Antonio Spurs Receive: PF LaMarcus Aldridge, PF/Tim Duncan, SG Manu Ginobili, SF Kawhi Leonard, PG Patty Mills and PG Tony Parker
Could San Antonio Spurs head honcho Gregg Popovich steer his incoming band of overpaid misfits and chuckers, and Kobe Bryant, to an NBA title this season?
Answer "Hell no" at your own peril.
Would Los Angeles Lakers head coach Byron Scott be able to salvage his job—which, per the Los Angeles Times' Mike Bresnahan is kind-of-sort-of on the line—with his fancy new roster?
Bellowing "No comment" is the only appropriate response.
Allen Crabbe as OKC's Savior
Oklahoma City Thunder Receive: SG Allen Crabbe and SG Luis Montero
Portland Trail Blazers: PG D.J. Augustin and PF Mitch McGary
According to ESPN.com's Zach Lowe, the Oklahoma City Thunder are in the market for a new wing.
OKC, meet your new wing.
Allen Crabbe is shooting better than 40 percent on spot-up triples, making him a tantalizing option behind Kevin Durant's and Russell Westbrook's drives. And because the Thunder don't need to hide him on defense, Crabbe is basically a low-key amalgam of Anthony Morrow and the injured Andre Roberson.
Mitch McGary would be just plain fun on the Portland Trail Blazers. He is pure energy and adds depth to Portland's thus far underwhelming power forward corps.
D.J. Augustin, meanwhile, is a backup point guard not named Tim Frazier. Even with C.J. McCollum vacillating between both backcourt spots, Augustin is a welcome sight for a Blazers team pursuing a surprise playoff berth.
Long Live Kristaps
Golden State Warriors Receive: SG Arron Afflalo, PG Jose Calderon, PF/C Kristaps Porzingis and PF Derrick Williams
New York Knicks Receive: SF/PF Harrison Barnes, SG Ian Clark, PG Stephen Curry and PF Draymond Green
How valuable is Kristaps Porzingis?
Incredibly valuable. According to our complexly calculated, not-at-all-random trade-machine gauge, the Warriors add 73 wins
Nikola Jokic Forever
Chicago Bulls Receive: C Nikola Jokic
Denver Nuggets Receive: SG 1990-91 Michael Jordan
Who says no?
Denver Nuggets head coach Mike Malone. As he told reporters, per BSNDenver.com's Harrison Wind, he wouldn't deal rookie Nikola Jokic for anyone:
Sure, the 1990-91 version of Michael Jordan was ridiculously good.
But, as Malone would say, he's no Nikola Jokic.
Stats courtesy of Basketball-Reference.com and NBA.com and are accurate leading into games on Feb. 2 unless otherwise cited. Draft pick commitments from RealGM.
Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter @danfavale.
