B/R Press Conference With French Open Winner Roger Federer (Satire)

A large group of Bleacher Report reporters were given an exclusive closed press conference with 2009 French Open champion Roger Federer. 

Federer arrived promptly at 4 p.m. local time to field questions from the B/R group. He opened up questions to the floor.

Federer: Good afternoon everyone. Thanks for coming out. I will be happy to take any questions about the French Open and the upcoming grass season.

After a brief pause, one reporter raised his hand.  

Federer: Yes?

Reporter 1:  I was wondering if you caught my article at www.bleacherreport.com/mypicksforwimbledon.com

Federer: Uh, no. I really don't have time to surf the net all that much. 

Another reporter raised his hand and asked a question.

Reporter 2:  Mr. Federer, I wrote an article on this very subject. I was wondering if you can check it out at www.bleacherreport.com/howmuchtimedoesfedererhavetosurfthenet.com

Federer:  Wow. But as I said, I am busy with these upcoming tournaments and that is what I would love to talk about. Yes, you in the back?

Reporter 3: I was hoping you could view my article, www.bleacherreport.com/willfederereverplayswissfootball.com

Federer: OK, let me just stop everyone here for a moment and say that I have not read any articles at the Bleacher Report.

Reporter 4:  Uh, Roger, I was wondering if you could check out my article at www.bleacherreport.com/bleacherreportnotgoodenoughforfederer.com

Federer:  ARGGHHH! I don't get on the Web that much. I don't even get on my own Web site very often. Stop plugging the damn articles! It is very annoying. Yes, you in the front with the laptop.

Reporter 5: I was wondering, Roger, what your chances are for Wimbledon?

Federer:  That is a great question. I believe that I am the man to beat and obviously coming off a French Open victory, I am feeling very confident to start the grass season. I—hey, what are you doing?

Reporter 5:  I am just dictating your response for my new article, www.bleacherreport.com/isfederergettingtoococky.com

Federer: Man, do you people do anything besides plug your own articles? Hold on a minute here. 

Federer reaches under the table and pulls out his own laptop. He starts typing.

Reporter 5:  What are you typing, Roger?

Federer: I am doing my own article about how annoying it is to constantly plug an article.  www.bleacherreport.com/getalifearticlepluggers.com

Reporter 6:  Wow, that is a great idea! You definitely will get my pick of the day!  However, if you want people to read it, you are going to have to plug it. Otherwise, no one will bother. 

Federer: OK, I will have to forgo the usual tennis practice so I can get this article out.  Any last questions before I leave.

All the reporters start to yell their articles addresses out hoping that Roger would hear them. 

Federer:  www.bleacherreport.com/iamsooutofhere.com