Philadelphia Eagles: Why No One Should Ever Trade with the Philadelphia Eagles

If you’re an NFL general manager and the Philadelphia Eagles call you up to discuss a trade, hang up the phone.  Immediately.  Don’t listen to what they have to say, don’t negotiate with them and absolutely don’t tell them you’re interested.  Hang up the phone, unplug it, throw it out the window, whatever it takes to end the discussion. 

It will end only with pain.

The Eagles have nothing to offer you.  Or if they do, they definitely aren’t trying to give it up.  If you think that the Philadelphia Eagles will ever allow you to make a fair trade with them, I have a bridge in Brooklyn that might also interest you.

They’ve shown their deception time and time again.  So why do teams constantly make the mistake of trading for their quarterbacks?  If the Eagles could draft worth anything, they would be dominating the NFL with all of the additional picks they’ve accumulated over the years. 

Let’s review some of the most egregious heists that they’ve pulled off.

A.J. Feeley

A.J. Feeley.  Just mentioning that name brings sly smirks to the faces of Eagles fans.  Once upon a time, A.J. Feeley won some games and put up some nice numbers in a wildly inflating Philadelphia aerial attack. 

He then went back to where a fifth-round quarterback typically does—the bench.

Then, almost a full year later, the Dolphins decided to give up a second-round draft pick for the right to have Feeley fail to beat out Jay Fiedler for the starting quarterback spot.  He threw more touchdowns than interceptions for his career.  That trade was larceny, but it doesn’t hold a candle to some of the others on this list.

Donovan McNabb

I like the Washington Redskins.  Honestly, I do.  But if a team in your own division calls you up and says that you can trade for their starting quarterback, and you don’t run away screaming, something is wrong with you. 

Yet, this is exactly what happened in 2010 when Washington forked over a second-round draft pick and a conditional third- or fourth-rounder for Donovan McNabb.

Shockingly, it didn’t work out in Washington, and McNabb went to Minnesota where he couldn’t start over Christian Ponder.  Thankfully for the rest of the league, the Eagles bungled that draft as well by taking Nate Allen, so no real damage was done.  Except to the Redskins.

Kevin Kolb

This one is seriously vomit-inducing.  This was abominable.

Kolb, just like Feeley, put up large passing numbers in Philadelphia’s “Let’s throw on five downs for all five quarters all 17 games” strategy.

Unlike Feeley, though, it wasn’t enough to only take Arizona’s second-round draft pick, no sir.  Instead, Philadelphia decided (because that’s what happened, there was obviously no negotiation by the Cardinals) that Arizona was going to throw in its best cornerback into the deal.

With that, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie made his way to Philadelphia.  The Eagles traded the pick away and didn’t exactly nail the draft anyway, but at this point it’s the principle of the thing that is bothering me.

So Leave Nick Foles Alone!

The moral of this story?

Do not, under any circumstances, trade for Nick Foles.  You will get burned.

Think about this, he is slated to back up either Dennis Dixon, who hasn’t played meaningful ball in years and didn’t look incredible when he did, or Michael Vick, who was a walking, talking turnover machine last season.

You really think that giving up anything of value for this guy is a good idea?  Give me a break.  Foles didn’t look amazing in Philadelphia’s pass-first offense to begin with.  Do not give Philadelphia, in this middle-heavy draft, anything to work with.  If Foles was any good at all, he would be starting over those guys.

Don’t tell me about systems, because I’m not buying it.  If Chip Kelly is such a genius, he can modify his spread so that Foles could run it until he finds an ideal quarterback. 

If the Eagles try to trade Nick Foles, it’s because they don’t think that he can play.  Like Feeley.  Like McNabb, at the end of his career.  Especially like Kevin Kolb. 

Stop giving them chances to make you all look foolish.  When they call you to ask about your interest in "a talented young quarterback," tell them that if he was so talented, the Eagles would want to hold onto him.

Tell them to forget it.