Marion Barber, Troy Polamalu, and Others: A Hairy Situation in the NFL

Would Bob Marley’s mug be plastered on countless dorm rooms if he were sans dreadlocks?

Possibly.

Would the Predators have been able to throw Arnold around and hunt the Aliens as though they were pheasants without the dreads?

Debatable.

Would Sampson have been able to slay an entire Philistine army with a donkey’s jawbone had he been without the flowing locks?

Certainly not.

As the NFL aims to eradicate the ever growing manes some players are sporting, what words would describe a clean shaven player such as Troy Polamalu? Standardized, homogeneous, conforming, bland.

For all you Madden gamers out there, how excited were you the first time you saw cyber Ricky Williams truly look like his real world counterpart, complete with flowing dreads?

For me, the Dolphins’ running back went from a generic character to the bruising power runner he once was. Cutting the dreads out of the NFL will mean that players will lose their individual flair.

Not only would a rule banning hair from flowing out of the helmet remove the spice and intimidation factor from some of the players, but it could also be discriminatory.

Dreadlocks are often worn as a religious symbol. Some US businesses have had to pay dearly for discrimination against such hairstyles.

In 2006, FedEx settled charges brought by seven couriers when they were fired because they would not cut their hair. These couriers claimed their dreadlocks were a religious statement protected under the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

Likewise, Greyhound had pay out $33,500 to a man dismissed for his dreadlocks in 2002.

Imagine if every player in the NFL wearing dreadlocks was paid $33,500 because of discrimination. You would see a baldy like Matt Hasselbeck stock up on Rogaine to take advantage of this particularly sweet deal.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits employers from discrimination based on such characteristics as race, religion, and national origin.

Some players in the NFL are of Pacific Island descent such as Troy Polamalu, Samson Satele, and Haloti Ngata. These hairstyles are reminiscent of those worn by the warriors of the region to demonstrate their masculinity.

When beauty pageants were first held in Samoa, the winner was determined by who had the longest hair. Taking away these players’ hairstyles is disrespectful to their culture.

Mandating short hairstyles in the NFL is another example of old, white owners getting together and dreaming up ways to remove the “thug” image from the game a la NBA with the dress code rules.

Sure they will call this a safety issue, but nothing is stopping players from cutting their own hair, like Ricky Williams and Edgerrin James. These two running backs grew tired of defensive players yanking them down by their hair.

Players with hairstyles that flow out of their helmet realize the risk and do not need curmudgeons to tell them how to manage their appearance.

Interestingly, the dreadlock style was incorporated in the Rastafarian religion in contrast to the hairstyles of whites. Even the word “dreadlocks” comes from the independence struggle in Kenya as the British who fought the rebels dreaded seeing the locks in battle.

Just as it must have been terrifying to be ambushed by dreadlocked Kenyan rebels, it must be frightening to try and tackle Marion Barber and his dreads, or stay in the pocket knowing a crazed Troy Polamalu is coming around the blindside at full speed.

These players’ hairstyles not only allow fans to recognize their favorite players, but it is also a fantastic intimidation technique.

More importantly, these hairstyles take years to grow and are an expression of culture, religion, and national origin.

The NFL would not be a better league without the crazy hair. In fact, the league would start to resemble the players at Wimbledon with their conforming, all-white tennis outfits.

Besides, the NFL has much larger issues to tackle than a little unruly hair such as concussions, caring for retired players, and of course, Pac-Man Jones.