10 Reasons Vuvuzelas Should Not Be Allowed at Brazil 2014

Ben Chodos@bchodosCorrespondent IIMarch 7, 2012

10 Reasons Vuvuzelas Should Not Be Allowed at Brazil 2014

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    The first step that FIFA needs to take to ensure a successful 2014 World Cup in Brazil is banning vuvuzelas. 

    The plastic horns that were a phenomenon at South Africa 2010 are annoying, unnecessary and potentially dangerous.

    They interfere with the game and could possibly cause legal problems if allowed at the upcoming tournament. 

    But most of all, they are insanely annoying. That point will be stressed throughout the article, and nine other reasons will support it.

10. They Are Unbearably Annoying

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    No adverb in the English language is capable of properly emphasizing the word "annoying" when discussing vuvuzelas.

    If you need to be reminded of the noise, watch the video above. If you would like to avoid having your ears violated, do not watch.

    It either sounds like the stadium is swarming with bees or everyone had three bowls of chili before the game. 

    The vuvuzelas allow people to make the hellish noise for hours on end, and this cannot be allowed at the next World Cup.  

9. The Players Hate Them

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    Fans want to see the highest quality soccer possible at Brazil 2014, and vuvuzelas will only hinder that.

    Per ESPN during the last World Cup, French captain Patrice Evra said:

    "We can't sleep at night and we can't hear one another out on the pitch."

    The French had much bigger problems than annoying fans to worry about in 2010, but other players in the tournament were in full agreement with Evra. Spain's Xabi Alonso said this about the hellish noisemakers per BBC.

    "I think they should be banned. They make it very difficult for the players to communicate with each other and to concentrate. They are a distraction and do nothing for the atmosphere." 

    For the sake of the athletes providing us with such fantastic entertainment, the vuvuzela must be banned.

8. They Pose a Risk for Ambush Marketing

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    Ambush marketing describes the act of capitalizing on an event without the proper licensing.

    For example, in the 2010 World Cup, 36 women were ejected from a game for wearing Leeuwenhosen. These are short orange dresses (pictured above) distributed by Bavaria Brewery, a Dutch beer company.  

    FIFA worries that unlicensed vendors will design vuvuzelas that have logos on them and leech onto the event to earn a profit.

    If beautiful women in skimpy dresses are not allowed into a soccer stadium because of this policy, than obnoxious pieces of plastics must be left at the gate too.

7. The World Cup Is Not in South Africa Again

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    The only reason to keep the vuvuzelas throughout the last World Cup is their connection to South African football culture. 

    Fans that attend the domestic Premier Soccer League matches sound the plastic horns frequently during their time in the stadium.

    If South Africans are desensitized to the maddening buzzing the instrument emits, then more power to them. But the rest of the world sill hates when the horns are part of their football-watching experience.

    Luckily, the tournament changes venues each time it is held, so the only argument preventing a vuvuzela ban is no longer valid.

6. They Spread Disease

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    To play the vuvuzela, one must simply spit into the smaller end of the instrument. Unfortunately for those near anyone attempting this, all that spit gets rocketed out the larger end.

    Ruth McTierney, a researcher at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine did a study that found vuvuzelas spray aerosal particles (spit) at a rate 571 times faster than shouting.

    Not only are these instruments capable of making aggravating noises, but they are a potential catalyst for infectious diseases. The plastic horns allow people to spread their phlegm onto dozens of people around them, which is a truly disgusting thing to consider.

    In the interest of proper sanitation, the unnecessary vuvuzelas must be axed.

5. No More Vuvuzela iPhone App

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    For those of you who did not have a friend that abused the vuvuzela iPhone app during the last Wolrd Cup, consider yourself lucky.

    One popular version was downloaded 3.5 million times before the tournament was halfway over.

    The only thing more annoying then listening to the incessant humming on the TV is also having to hear it com from your friends smart phone at the same time.

    If FIFA mercifully bans the plastic horns, this app will not be as popular come Brazil 2014.

4. Commentators Would Not Talk About Them Anymore

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    Pundits and broadcasters were just as annoyed and confused by the vuvuzelas as the fans were. 

    However, an inordinate amount of World Cup coverage was devoted to commentators discussing their feelings on the instruments.

    The plastic horns did not just hinder the players' performance, it made the announcers worse as well.

    Once the vuvuzelas are banned, people in the stands will not have to hear them, and people on television will not have to talk about them.

3. They Can Cause Permanent Hearing Loss

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    Scientific testing showed that no person within two meters of a vuvuzela should be subjected to its sound for more than a minute.

    This is to avoid a health risk, and one should not listen for more than a second if they wish to avoid a serious nuisance.

    Spectators who are too close to one of the plastic horns face severe risk of permanent hearing loss. 

    The vuvuzela is not just annoying, but also potentially very dangerous.

2. Other Fans Are Drowned out

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    The World Cup is a global event where 32 different countries get to display their pride and passion for their team.

    Tournament matches feature the most lively supporters in their most excited state. Displays of fanaticism are shown through both dress and song.

    But once the vuvuzelas are brought out, everything else is pushed aside. The incessant sound overpowers all other noise in the stadium and ruins the unique feeling supporters bring to each match.

    Out of respect for those who wish to cheer on their side, get rid of the plastic horns and let them watch the games in peace.

1. You Can't Dance the Samba to a Vuvuzela

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    Brazil is the birthplace of the Samba, one of the richest musical traditions in the world.

    The country's signature style of music intricately blends an array of string, brass, wind and percussion instruments into a groovy and energetic beat.

    The vuvuzela is in complete contrast to this beautiful genre and is the least melodic and pleasant instrument on the planet.

    The 2014 World Cup should celebrate everything that makes Brazil great, and vuvuzelas can only stand in the way of that goal.