Premier League Twitter: The EPL Starting XI Tweeting Twits
The Twittersphere can be a cruel world as Darron Gibson found out, only lasting several hours after receiving waves of abuse when he asked his followers to show him some love.
For others like Danny Gabbidon, it made the wallet lighter and the Welsh defender promptly closed his account.
Rather than work his socks off to get back into the Liverpool starting 11, Ryan Babel spent his time entertaining his followers on Twitter with some real classic tweets.
Sadly he's no longer a Premiership player following his move to Hoffenheim earlier in the year.
So who makes it into the EPL starting XI tweeting twits?
Goalkeeper: Wojciech Szczęsny
At least I didn't concede 10.
Alex Livesey/Getty Images
There are three things you should know about Wojciech Szczęsny.
- 1) The young Pole is Arsenal's promising goalkeeper.
- 2) No-one can pronounce or spell his name.
- 3) He's a candid and cheeky tweeter.
When Ashley Cole curled his penalty over the bar, Szczęsny tweeted:
"Is it a plane? Is it an aeroplane? No, its just ashley throwing chelsea out of the fa cup :)."
Defender: Phil Neville
Michael Regan/Getty Images
Aside from being the younger brother Gary Neville, and an under-appreciated member of the Fergie's Fledglings of 90s; did you know Phil Neville at one point was a trending topic in the Twittersphere?
After Gareth Bale humiliated Maicon, jokes about the modest Everton right-back keeping Bale at bay the week before went viral.
This is my personal favourite:
"Gareth Bale wasn’t running past Maicon, he was still running away from Phil Neville."
Defender: Rio Ferdinand
Rio Ferdinand may no longer be the king on the field, but he has some solace off the field with the 1.4+ million following his tweets.
A Google analysis tool found only 11 percent of Ferdinand's tweets were of immediate language.
Translation: Ferdinand's vocabulary isn't Shakespearean-esce.
But, he still laid a verbal uppercut to Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) with this tweet:
"If I wanted a grammar lesson I''d have gone to @stephenfry not a SACKED editor!!"
Defender: José Enrique
Liverpool FC/Getty Images
José Enrique makes the starting line-up because after being fined £100,000 for his Twitter rant, he closed his account only to then re-open it.
He was ranting about how unambitious Newcastle United had become.
One of his tweets was:
"The club is allowing all the major players of the team to go. Seriously, do you think it is the fault of the players? Andy [Carroll], nobby [Kevin Nolan] etc etc. This club will never again fight to be among the top six again with this policy."
It worked didn't it? He looks at home in a Liverpool shirt.
Midfielder: Séamus Coleman
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
What a fantasy choice Séamus Coleman was last season. Designated as a defender, yet he played 25 games in the Premier League as a right winger.
He's also become notorious on Twitter due to his banter with Everton teammate and captain Phil Neville (@fizzer18).
Here's a sample tweet of Coleman shutting up Neville:
"u enjoy going to the world cups with england or was that gary [Neville] AGAIN!? I’m sure u were proud to watch him!!"
Midfielder: Jack Wilshere
Lintao Zhang/Getty Images
At 19-years-old ,Jack Wilshere has established himself as an Arsenal starter, has represented England at senior level and carries the responsibility as a soon to be father.
He also has 843,000+ following his tweets.
With tweets like this:
"BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS: I have just moved from the sofa to my bed!!"
Rio Ferdinand watch your back!
Midfielder: Joey Barton
I'm coming for you Amir Khan
Chris Brunskill/Getty Images
Is that really you Joey Barton?
What happened to the uncouth thug most people perceive you to be?
Barton's philosophical tweets (a large majority not his own material) contrast sharply with his image as the man who bashed teammate Ousmane Dabo to a pulp.
It would seem Barton has undergone a Mike Tyson-esce transformation.
Sure enough it was displayed in his performance against Arsenal.
Rather than acquaint his fists to Gervinho's forehead, Barton dived to the floor hyperbolising the little contact he received.
As Tyson said in a Times interview, "This is not a tough guy's world, this is a smart man's world."
Try to decipher this Barton tweet:
"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors."
Forward: Kevin Davies
Clint Hughes/Getty Images
I wonder if Kevin Davies followed Jamie Oliver (@jamieoliver), because the Bolton Wanderers forward made it clear to the world that he had no future as a cook.
"Cannot believe I have burnt another Pop Tart!!"
"Says on the Pop Tart box to use lowest heat setting - who has a heat setting on a toaster!!?? My toaster just has a timer?!"
A few months back, Davies announced his "retirement" from Twitter, citing the abuse he and his wife were receiving.
Though it seems, much like his professional footballing career, he'll continue to solider on regardless of the haters by keeping his Twitter account open.
Forward: Wayne Rooney
Aside from letting the world know he wasn't going to be bald by age 30, Wayne Rooney has also shown his keyboard warrior side. Though I'm sure, unlike many, he can actually back up his words.
After some quite disgusting remarks from @sam-oldham-LFC, Rooney retaliated with:
"I’ll put you asleep within 10 seconds hope u turn up if u don’t gonna tell everyone ur scared u little nit. I’ll be waiting."
@sam-oldham-LFC replied by closing his account.
Forward: Michael Owen
Steve Dykes/Getty Images
These days Michael Owen is more prolific in tweeting than scoring goals for Manchester United.
With tweets like:
"Surprised to see Lampard not playing. Jones was tipped to start too and didn't even make the bench. Looks a decent enough team though."
"Forgot about QPR. Some top buys. Agree with some of you saying we have done best. The Boss [Sir Alex Ferguson] worked wonders doing all his business so early."
"I guess West Ham fans will be happy tonight. Losing Parker is a blow but they have brought some top players in."
Forward: Darren Bent
Ian Walton/Getty Images
If only Luka Modrić had Twitter.
To force his move away from Tottenham Hotspur, Darren Bent went tweeted:
"It's so frustrating hanging round doing jack s__t. Seriously getting p___ed off now."
"Do I wanna go Sunderland YES. So stop f_____g around, Levy."
Two seasons later, Bent submitted a transfer request at Sunderland, prompting his move to Aston Villa.
He's a hard man to please.