What the Manchester United Fan Thinks of Arsenal

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What the Manchester United Fan Thinks of Arsenal
Clive Mason/Getty Images
The glory days are there. No, there. Wait, there...

Oh, Arsenal, Arsenal, Arsenal. From where to where have thou fallen? Just last week, you spoke of an unprecedented quadruple.

Today, you lie in shambles and face an uphill task of overtaking those Red Devils in the league.

You promise of great things every year, you promise of trophies, glory and victory. You promise years and years of accolades and songs in your honor.

You promise us this every year. Your tape never stops and I love listening to you again and again.

Your lovely, lovely voice never ceases to amaze me.

But you mess up every year, Arsenal. Why? Don't you like sticking to your promises? Don't you like keeping us happy? Don't you like receiving praise? Don't you miss Henry?

Why, you tell us of your youngsters and glory days to come. But you told us this yesterday, and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that...

I'm becoming impatient now. You're beginning to hurt me.

Your over-pretentious squad seems to jabber on and on, but all they do is pass, pass and pass. Shots seem to be a thing of the old.

Speaking of the old, look at those Red Devils. All over-aged and wrinkly. A 40-year-old keeper? HA! His bones will have to be caught before the ball.

That old man on the wing. Thinks he's 19, trying to run away from this over-25 age. His tearing apart seems more beautiful now, not that violent sword slash it was.

And Darth Vader in the center. Oh, that blond punk. Tackles like a five-year-old. Passes with the efficiency of a hawk. But what is the point when you're 36, eh?

How is it that they keep winning? Why do they continue beating us? I guess, we wake up on the wrong side when we play them every time, that lucky old-age home.

Your bravado can shake the sheets of any team. After all, 90 percent of the game IS won on paper.

Your red jersey reminds your opposition of the bloodshed they're about to face.You not winning anything shocks and befuddles me.

You promise us of great things, and we wait. Waiting for it to come. Because we know it'll come. It is inevitable.

Maybe not this year, but the next. If not then, then surely the next.

The next, no?

 

Disclaimer: I'm a Manchester United fan. If you are hurt by any comments made by me with regards to another team, I don't care. Ta.

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