Before I move ahead with this article, I must let everyone know that I am one of Luis Suarez's biggest fans and staunchest advocates. Yet, I have come to a point where I do not want to give him another chance to prove his innocence in Liverpool colors.
The Reds snatched a point with the last kick of the game against a strong Chelsea side today. Still, I was not as happy as I was when something similar happened against Arsenal two seasons ago when Liverpool scored to equalize in the 100th minute or so; the reason was Suarez.
I felt very sad at the end of the game.
I wanted to jump in joy when the goal went in, but for some reason I did not. There was a strange feeling inside. Some sort of guilt was surrounding me. I guess that is what happens when you support something so passionately. And I did not want to support a club that had players such as Suarez.
Admittedly, this article may come out as a knee-jerk reaction. But we all are after all humans.
Suarez was accused during the game by Branislav Ivanovic of trying to bite the Chelsea player. When the commentators started discussing the incident with the frequency that they were, I was unperturbed. I did not for a minute think that my hero would do "it" again.
When replays partly confirmed the worst, I was almost tearing my hair out.
Why Luis? Why?
And this, when there has been controversy regarding his inclusion in the nominations for PFA Player of the Year on the basis of his behavior. Surely he had a chance to prove people wrong, but he just added to the flames.
Of course, nothing has been proven as yet. But you know what your eyes have seen. And it was certainly not pretty. Nor was it something that you could make a case in favor of Suarez with.
Things such as this incident make you wonder whether you were wrong all along. The amount of support that Suarez got from all of us in the Patrice Evra incident was because we believed that we were being wronged.
I am not saying this incident proves that Evra was right. But it certainly does not help.
I hate to say it, but I think that it would be best for both parties if Suarez left Liverpool. Juventus, Bayern Munich or Real Madrid can have him for any amount near to what the Reds got for Fernando Torres, and the cash can certainly be reinvested to strengthen the overall as a team.
All I know is that I wish to be celebrating as a Liverpool fan at the end of games such as today's, and I unfortunately did not get the chance because my emotions got the better of me. The amount I was disgusted by Suarez's antics more than offset my jubilation when the Reds equalized with the last kick of the game.
I wish Suarez can restore my faith to a level that made me write this in the past. I defended my hero even for what he did against Ghana because I always believed his innocence. Disturbed is an understatement to describe what I am feeling right now. If Suarez were to come out and say sorry within a few days and accept some sort of ban, I will be very happy and may still wish for him to stay.
Not that my opinion should matter too much.