WWE: Why the Annual Slammy Awards Should Come to An End

In 2008, the WWE hosted its annual Slammy Awards for the first time since 1997. 

But the company should have just forgotten all about the Slammys because they’ve turned into nothing but an absolute joke. 

The name Slammy Awards is obviously a play on music’s Grammy Awards, and someone needs to remind the WWE what those awards are meant for. The Grammys are supposed to honor the best that music has to offer, just like the Slammys are supposed to honor the best that the WWE has to offer: 

The key phrase there is “supposed to.” 

The Slammy Awards are supposed to do a lot of things, but the primary thing that they did this year is further WWE storylines rather than actually awarding wrestlers for what they accomplished throughout 2011. 

Let’s just take a look back at Monday’s 2011 Slammy Award winners and what segments they led to:

“Tell Me I Did Not Just See That” Award: Jim Ross for dancing during the “Michael Cole Challenge” 

Of course, this led to an absolutely brutal rapping segment in which Cole set rapping back 25 years and J.R. completely forgot his lines. 

What was accomplished here? Furthering a feud between two announcers who don’t wrestle, one of which doesn’t even really appear on TV anymore.

Holy $#@% Moment of the Year: Mark Henry superplexes The Big Show at Vengeance 

This was probably the right choice here, but Mark Henry didn’t appear to accept the award, and all this did was set up a match between Show and Wade Barrett that only got a few minutes because neither guy was going to take a clean loss.

Pipe Bomb of the Year: CM Punk 

I’m not sure if this was given for one specific moment or just one specific person, but given that it was named after CM Punk for crying out loud, I think the WWE spoiled the outcome. 

What came after was a video package with Punk mocking John Laurinaitis. Again, the WWE was simply furthering the storyline between Punk and Laurinaitis here.

Divalicious Moment of the Year: Kelly Kelly Wins the Divas Championship 

Whatever. Who cares? 

This was the WWE’s way of getting the Divas on TV without having to do the unthinkable and actually put them in a match.

OMG Moment of The Year: The Undertaker kicks out of the Tombstone at Wrestlemania 28 

How exactly is this different from the “Holy $#@%” moment of the year? 

I guess this was the WWE’s way of having Triple H return, call out The Undertaker and foreshadow a WrestleMania match that is four freaking months away.

Trending Star of the Year: Zack Ryder 

Dumbest award ever. 

Cody Rhodes doesn’t even have a Twitter, yet he was involved in this match that was basically the WWE’s way of saying “Hey, these are four mid-carders who are going to be big deals in 2012, so let’s just throw them all in one match.” 

In the end, Ryder won the award and got hit with the Zig Zag by Dolph Ziggler. Once again, a storyline was furthered.

Game Changer of the Year: The announcement of The Rock vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania 28 

So, the game changer of the year was an announcement? Must have been a weak 2011 for the WWE. 

Once again, John Cena came out and cut his little promo on The Rock that did nothing to make me want to see this match anymore than I already do.

A-Lister of the Year: Snooki 

Moving on.

Superstar of the Year: CM Punk 

Punk couldn’t accept the award because of an assault by The Miz and Alberto Del Rio, so Laurinaitis accepted it for him. 

Way to go, WWE. Though Punk was the right choice, this was yet another angle used to further the tension between Punk and Laurinaitis.

OK, so does anyone else see what I mean here? 

Although the WWE gave these awards to the correct wrestlers on a couple of occasions, the Slammys still ended up being a complete waste of my time.

The company created some bogus awards—“Trending Star of the Year?” Really?—all to revolve around specific angles rather than things that happened through the first 11-and-a-half months of 2011. 

We got a bunch of ridiculous award names and highlight video packages, but the WWE left out a boatload of legitimate awards that we, the fans, would actually care about. 

No one gives a crap about Snooki being the WWE’s top “A-lister” (especially when she’s a D-lister) or the never-ending feud between Cole and J.R. 

What we do care about, however, are awards such as these: Diva of the Year (Divalicious moment was weak), Match of the Year, Rivalry of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, etc. 

If the WWE is going to stick with these storyline awards instead of legitimate ones, then it’s time to just drop the Slammys altogether. 

After all, if the WWE is going to host a three-hour Slammy Awards show that features dumb awards and hardly any wrestling, then what makes us think that’s going to change anytime soon?