WWE Survivor Series Results: CM Punk Wins Championship, but Does It Matter?

Love him or hate him, CM Punk is once again the WWE Champion after forcing Alberto Del Rio into submission with an Anaconda Vice at the 2011 Survivor Series at Madison Square Garden.

My first follow-up question: so what? Not that I think someone else is more deserving of that big plastic belt or that I have anything against the "straight edge" strongman from Chicago.

Rather, I have no respect or concern for who is declared the ultimate victor in a "sport" that's almost entirely staged. If the belt says "Best Actor" on it, then by all means, give it to him. He's been spot-on with all of his backstage confrontations and ringside tirades, expressing his anger and hubris with the sort of realistic emotion that would have William Shakespeare himself standing in applause.

But, please, don't tell me that one wrestler or another is "more deserving" of being crowned the champion on the merits of his "athletic" accomplishments because (sorry to spoil it for you, folks), it's all staged.

Sorting out the cream of the crop in the WWE has much less to do with one's actual fighting abilities or what percentage of one's body mass is tainted with steroids (though the more, the merrier) and much more to do with one's credentials as a beefcake thespian who can garner the biggest fan following for himself and, in turn, the organization as a whole.

It's all a big popularity contest pushed by entertainment guru Vince McMahon to stir controversy with arbitrary decisions and grow the bottom line of his lucrative business.

And why not? If anything, McMahon deserves some sort of recognition, other than a fat bank account, for keeping millions of followers hoodwinked for so long, thinking that what they're watching is "real," that the feuds are genuine and that the winners and losers haven't already been decided.

Perhaps, that's why McMahon decided to stage his latest farce at the Garden—so he could take a bow for his production while still within shouting distance of Broadway. After all, he's spent his entire adult life stewarding the most successful national theater company in history to new heights.

Heck, he even managed to send The Rock out to Hollywood for seven years to take acting lessons and pursue a more transparently fraudulent career before bringing him back into the fold on Sunday, dragging Dwayne Johnson lovers along with him to their TV sets.

The very fact that he and John Cena were billed not as the best tag team or the most dominant tag team, but rather as "The Most Charismatic Tag Team of All Time" is telling enough that success or failure in the WWE is contingent on persona rather than sporting prowess.

True, McMahon has never been shy to admit that WWE is more entertainment than sport, more Hollywood sideshow than athletic endeavor, and he's right to suggest that all of it is simply entertainment.

Because, ultimately, that's what sports are all about—entertainment and the business opportunity that accompanies it.

The big difference, of course, is that real sports aren't entirely rigged, and real athletes aren't simply acting when they step into the arena of competition to put their bodies on the line. All the sports world may be a stage, but only some of the actors make their livelihoods from faking it like reality TV stars.

CM Punk has every right to be the champion of the WWE. He's the most polarizing, charismatic and (most importantly) popular figure in the theater company today and deserves to be recognized as such.

Just, please, don't pretend like it really matters, like him lifting that belt should be revered as some sort of athletic accomplishment.

Unless, of course, your goal is to get into professional wrestling, and you're trying to brush up on your acting.