WWE Survivor Series 2011: Inconsistent Cooking Makes This Turkey Terrible

The WWE bills Survivor Series as the "Thankgiving Tradition." Along the lines of cooked turkey and my uncle slamming Wild Turkey, it's an excuse to overindulge our passions in some form.

However, an issue with haphazard booking has killed whatever taste the upcoming pay-per-view might have possessed. On its face, the skin is tasty, crisp and brown. But underneath, some of the storyline builds were so bad or rushed that the end result might give the audience worms.

Let's begin with the most obvious one: the United States title match between Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison. For months, Morrison has been jobbing to everyone and their mother. Taking pins from Mark Henry on down to Drew McIntyre has destroyed whatever credibility MoJo once possessed. The simple fact is he's been on his back more then his feet.

He gained one role-up victory (on a distraction) against Dolph Ziggler, and he gains a title shot? Keep in mind that this is the guy who took a clean pin from WWE Superstars-fixture Drew McIntyre, and you begin to see the myriad of problems this brings.

Most folks thought Zack Ryder would be getting the match. They wrapped an online petition and built a storyline around the idea. Ryder has been on a tear as of late, pinning McIntyre last month, defeating Dolph numerous times and becoming a fairly prominent fixture on Raw and SmackDown.

Now, I understand the WWE giving Morrison a bit of a push to entice him to renew his contract. However, storyline-wise, this makes no sense. The fact that Ryder needed to pin Ziggler multiple times to get a title shot while Morrison only needed one is a hard pill to swallow.

Let's move on to everyone's favorite drumstick, Alberto Del Rio. The current WWE champion is in the midst of an intriguing feud with CM Punk, and I'm excited for the match because I know what the two men can do. 

But looking at his current matches, why is Del Rio the WWE champion? The inconsistent booking he  gets kills whatever credibility the Aristocrat has developed. He destroyed Kofi and had great matches with Morrison, Sheamus and Cena as of late. But he can't be booked to defeat the Big Show or even look good in defeat?

On top of that, the only consistent thing with him is his one-dimensional nature. Everything he has done is his "destiny." Why am I supposed a hate a guy who believes in himself? Because he breaks out the "Scarf of Doom" and beats down the good guy? That's nothing original.

Mark Henry is a vastly superior heel to Del Rio due to the fact that he has character depth. He destroys everything in his path but chooses his battles. There is almost a sympathetic heel to him because he finally got the big victory after 15 years.

Del Rio? Not so much. I'll give Del Rio credit. He is a hell of an in-ring talent, and his match against Cena at Vengeance was a "Top 10" of the year in my opinion. But lack of consistency keeps spoiling his storylines and character.

Finally, let's move to the fat of the matter with John Cena and the Rock. I would mention Awesome Truth in passing, but I nearly forgot they were in the match this Sunday. That is how badly they've been booked.

The WWE has been building this match on the premise that John Cena and the Rock cannot coexist. Why not?  Is it due to egos? The Rock's unrelenting hatred of breakfast cereals? The fact Cena needs to re-certify his degree in Thuganomics?

Last Monday, we all anticipated some hatred between the men, but this was never adequately demonstrated. They failed two times in this matter, during Cena's "This Is Your Life" segment and the end segment with Rock and Cena riffing on each other.

Verbal quips notwithstanding, the build for this match has been brutal. There is no intrigue and no dilemma that will be solved on Sunday. It doesn't change the fact that the both men will still face each other at WrestleMania 28 or that the Rock has another movie scheduled after this. Awesome Truth is no threat to either Cena or the Rock.

Ultimately, what it comes down is paying $45 to relive the nostalgia of the Rock wrestling in a match that might not even be watchable. For me, the answer is no.

There are some saving graces for the pay-per-view. Overall, the card looks adequate, and there are some intriguing match ups.

But from a storyline standpoint, Survivor Series is an undercooked turkey. It's nice to look at and might smell pretty good due to the Rock's cooking. But it's simply not palatable.