The Ultimate College Football Week 6 Watchability Scale

Going into last Saturday, it appeared that we were in for a day of mediocre matchups (with occasional intrigue) serving as an undercard for two particularly meaningful night games. Lucky for those of us anchored to a couch all day, the slate actually peaked with the earlier games and we were given maybe a half’s worth of genuine football entertainment* from the two big national games.

(*Unless you define entertainment as the rapid decomposition of John Brantley and Taylor Martinez, both physical and otherwise, then it was a full night of fun.)

Anyway, because I will never believe a Saturday of college football will actually be boring, I’ve taken the liberty to precisely (read: haphazardly) rank the Week 6 action in terms of how watchable and/or how much of an effort you should make to find the channel a game is on. I’m looking at you, Versus.

The Can’t Miss

1. (3) Oklahoma vs. (11) Texas

Once you get past the annual broadcaster references to the fried dolphin soul or whatever it is they’re dunking in oil this year on the fairgrounds at the Texas State Fair, the Sooners have more quality receivers (four) than they know what to do with and Texas has more quarterbacks (two) throwing passes than they probably should.

The Longhorns are more convincing each week, but in a limited schedule, only so much value can be placed on their defense and special teams giving a still-developing offense short fields. Sooners by 4.

2. Minnesota at Purdue

This was to make sure you were paying attention. Actually, I already have your click; you can do what you want.

2. (17) Florida at (1) LSU

As he begins his career on the road in Tiger Stadium, everything points to LSU potentially giving new Gator starting QB (and true freshman) Jeff Driskel reason to flinch any time anyone utters the word “Louisiana” within earshot.

Part of me, though, thinks that, despite the obvious one-dimensional nature of Florida’s offense with a true freshman under center, Florida could potentially slop this one up a bit and make it a game through an untimely LSU defensive lapse or the defense creating short fields through some vintage Jarrett Lee-ing.

Another part of me just hit the original part of me and told me to FEAR THE HONEY BADGER. So I’m going to do that. LSU by 16.  

3. (15) Auburn at (10) Arkansas

Arkansas is as brutally efficient throwing the ball as they are, well, just plain brutal trying to stop the run. For this reason and this reason alone, it’ll be an entertaining game. Also, “Dyer up the sideline!” will probably be said at some point. Arkansas by 7.

The Try not to Miss, but Whatever

4.  Ohio St. at (14) Nebraska

The odds of neither team getting to 20 points increase every time I think about this game. And I’ve thought about this game two, maybe even three times.

The Buckeye defense has been reasonably grumpy against the run (15^th nationally yards per carry) and Taylor Martinez is responsible for making wise decisions against this particular grumpy defense. I can’t justify any of what Ohio State’s done on offense, but I do know that there’s a drinking game to be invented as it relates to Buckeye QBs and a completion percentage below 50 percent. Huskers by 7.

5. (12) Michigan at Northwestern

This might be a stretch, but Michigan hasn’t played a game on the road and people seem a little too happy to declare that Michigan’s defensive woes are a thing of the past. Northwestern QB Dan Persa will continue to become a bigger part of the offense and the Wildcats should be able to spread the Wolverine defense out enough to keep the game relatively close in Evanston. Feels like it’ll be a game into the fourth quarter. Michigan by 10.

6. Cal at (9) Oregon

When the Bears have NFL-caliber players up front, they’re able to compete with nearly everyone in the conference, especially an Oregon team that has struggled against an experienced, disciplined defense. This year Cal has fewer NFL-caliber players and more of the Cal-caliber players. This seems rather unfortunate against the nation’s leading rusher. Oregon by 26. 

The If Nothing Else is Close

7. Missouri at (20) Kansas State

Kansas State coach Bill Snyder likes many things—decidedly inferior September opponents, well-sized glasses and running the ball. Missouri’s had a week off, a consistently improving quarterback with worthwhile road experience and performance, and five straight wins over Kansas State (with or without the solidly bespectacled Snyder). Tigers by 4.

8. Iowa at Penn State

Typically, this game would feature at least one of the teams having a parenthetical number before their name in the title, but thanks to a triple OT loss to a lesser rival and Penn State’s offense (just in general), the game has been demoted to the levels of “temporary boredom cure before you realize that it’s only adding to the boredom.” Marcus Coker is the relatively competent attraction here. Relatively competent, I say! Iowa by 3.

9. Georgia at Tennessee

Tennessee is 94^th in the country against the run. Georgia RB Isaiah Crowell should be perfectly content to drop that number to around 97^th in Knoxville. Tennessee QB Tyler Bray is throwing into a secondary that very much wishes Mark Richt continues his employment in Athens. Good for them. Georgia by 4.

10. Air Force at Notre Dame

In my experience, Notre Dame has typically handled service academies running the option rather well. Also, my experience is built on a bed of lies. Irish by 10. 

11. Miami at (21) Virginia Tech

I still remember the simpler times of August 2011 when this game appeared to be one to circle on the ACC schedule. Miami QB Jacory Harris is clearly the better quarterback, which is something I wanted to type just because I don’t get to that much. The Hokies should be able to impose enough will to win it close ‘n ugly. Actually, I’d like to humbly submit “Close ‘n Ugly Saturday” to ESPN producers to use during their wrap-up shows Saturday night. You’re welcome. Virginia Tech by 4.

12. Kansas at Oklahoma State

Did you remember to activate your Cowboy starters on your fantasy team after last week’s bye week. Please remember to activate them. Pretty please. Oklahoma State by 33. 

13. (24) Texas A&M at Texas Tech

The Aggies are still ranked. They’ll probably justify this against a Texas Tech that’s pretty clearly a team that peaks out around “average.” Your New Mexico stats can’t help you where we’re going, Techies. A&M by 13.

The If There’s a Zombie Apocalypse Outside 

47. Arizona at Oregon State

Actually, just face the zombies and enthusiastically submit your brains. Wildcats by 20.

Dan Rubenstein co-hosts The Solid Verbal college football podcast and can be followed on Twitter here.