Solving the Mysteries of College Football's Third Week

If you’re young enough to be able to use the Internet and still old enough to remember what books were like before they were on screens (and sold in actual stores with shelves), there’s a pretty good shot you came across some sort of combination of The Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew (or even The Boxcar Children if you’re one of those fringe types) during your formative years.

All were decent enough early reading, but anyone that knew anything got on the Encyclopedia Brown bandwagon and never looked back—E.B.’s ten, has a sweet nickname, a rock-solid connect (dad’s the police chief) and each case is presented and solved in two minutes' worth of reading.

My only real problem with the series was that a couple minutes was still way too long for me to gather the facts and (never) solve the mystery correctly. My shot at redemption took awhile, but it’s finally here after about 20 years.

Week 3’s mysterious college football outcomes…SOLVED!

The Case of the Missing First Half (West Virginia @ Maryland)

It’s not clear if a West Virginia first-half offense even exists, but it will continue to lurk in the shadows, and this time against a more worrisome opponent in Maryland. Lucky for the Mountaineers, they’ll still enjoy the trip to College Park. WVU by 8.

What makes me so sure? Find out below!

The speed of West Virginia’s defense matches up well with the Terps and the offense will poke enough holes in Maryland’s defense to again give Dana Holgorsen enough to put the game away early in the fourth quarter. The Mountaineers run game is still unsolved… 

The Case of the Confusing Tigers (Auburn @ Clemson)

Both teams have underwhelmed early on, but Auburn’s run game, especially when Michael Dyer has the ball, is the single most dangerous weapon in the game. This will be enough to mask Barrett Trotter’s unfortunate first road game as a starter. Auburn by 4.

What gave it away? Find out below!

Clemson’s run defense, while fairly stout these past few years, has taken a step back working new players into an inexperienced front seven. The way anyone controls a tough road crowd is extended drives on the ground. This will be the story of the game.

The Case of the Missing Kittens (Coastal Carolina, in general)

Actually, case closed.

The Case of the Bullet-Riddled Cleats (Michigan St @ Notre Dame)

For the first time this season, Notre Dame won’t shoot itself in the feet by turning the ball over after controlling drives or letting comfortable leads slip away…it’ll just get outplayed by a more balanced, more efficient team. Spartans by 3.

How could that be? Find out below!

While we actually know much more about Notre Dame because of who they’ve played, the facts about Michigan State are thus: it can win passing, running and with stifling defense. It is also far more trustworthy in close games with Kirk Cousins wearing MSU's pro combat whatever uniforms.

The Case of the Inked Ball Thrower (Tennessee @ Florida)

The early story will be Vols QB Tyler Bray, back tat and all, going into Gainesville and appearing to be well on his way to reversing the recent trend in this matchup (read: Tennessee finishing in second). To everyone’s surprise, though, John Brantley will connect on a big early pass that will eventually be paced by a Gator rushing attack and his teammates of the other side of the ball. Florida by 11.

Where’s the smoking gun? Find out below!

The fun thing about Tennessee is that it scores points in bunches and has exciting skill position players. The not-so-fun thing is that tit has given up too many yards and doesn’t turn the ball over to counteract defensive holes. It’ll win more than it’ll lose, but this week, Florida’s backfield will be too fast to keep up with.

The Case of the Case (Texas @ UCLA)

Texas and UCLA are neck and neck to see who can be less fun to watch with an abundance of talent on the roster. This weekend, in front of dozens of thousands of people, UCLA will beat Texas with a yards-per-rush number that’s generally associated with the phrase “cloud of dust.” People will like football a little less after this game. Bruins by 6.

What’s the giveaway? Find out below!

The Longhorns will be starting an inexperienced QB in Case McCoy on the road for an offense that’s still not entirely comfortable doing anything outside of watching freshman RB Malcom Brown wreak havoc. UCLA’s contractually due for an early inexplicable win to create a false sense of security resulting in an uncomfortable post-game Rick Neuheisel moment with an on-field PA system.

The Case of the Angry Desert Man (Arizona St @ Illinois)

Arizona State, still high from a big win over one pretty good Midwestern team, immediately falls behind to another before finding success on the ground and in the screen game against the Illini. The second half is a shootout, but untimely penalties will undo the Devils after multiple Illinois scoring drives propelled by QB Nathan Scheelhaase and an uncharacteristic air attack. Illini by 7.

Where did the Devils go wrong? Find out below!

A team can only commit so many penalties before it reflects directly in the loss column against a decent enough team. ASU has extraordinary talent on both sides of the ball, but the Illini will simply be coached well enough (you read that correctly) to know to pick their own spots and let LB Vontaze Burfict and his ASU teammates beat themselves.

The Case of the Night Terrors (Oklahoma @ Florida St)

Oklahoma and Florida State will exchange exciting scoring drives before the Seminoles and man-freshman RB James Wilder find the offensive balance that’s eluded them at times against top teams in big games. Oklahoma’s success through the air is limited as the young Florida State secondary becomes increasingly comfortable matching up against the Sooners’ skill players. ‘Noles by 4.

What are the clues? Find out below!

For all of Oklahoma’s offensive pyrotechnics, it can still be had defensively on the ground (to an extent). Florida State won’t punish a still-decent Sooners defensive front, but it’ll repeatedly find itself with advantageous third-down distances and thus prolong drives. Oklahoma thrives when its offense dictates pace and rhythm, but Florida State should be disciplined enough to accept shorter gains to keep the Sooners offense off the field. Also, we’re leaving out the biggest clue— Bob Stoops is taking an Oklahoma team on the road to play a big national game at night.

Case closed.

Dan Rubenstein co-hosts The Solid Verbal college football podcast and can be followed on Twitter here.