The Philadelphia Phillies Football Team

The Philadelphia Phillies are the best team in baseball. They have great speed, power, hitting, defense, and coaching. However, when I look at the 2008 world champions, I see not a baseball team, but a football team. Here is a list of each position on the Philadelphia Phillies football team, with almost every position player and the majority of the pitchers represented.

OFFENSE:

Quarterback: Cole Hamels. The tall, young lefty has the best arm on the team. He displays charisma, poise, and confidence. He is clutch under pressure. And he has that whole rock-star/pretty boy persona like a lot of quarterbacks. He also happens to be married to one of the most gorgeous women in the world, Survivor's Heidi Strobel.

Running Back: Jimmy Rollins. I actually look at Jimmy Rollins and see a lot of Brian Westbrook in him. They're both 5-8. They were born just one year apart. And each could be considered the most important player on his team. Rollins is a natural-born leader, doesn't seem to be afraid to take hits, and is blazing fast. JRoll couldn't handle 30 carries but 15 carries and seven receptions would be just fine.

Running Back (Third-Down): Greg Dobbs.The third-down running back is clutch and can be called on for short gains in important situations. Dobbs is the best pinch-hitter in baseball. He always comes through in the clutch and would be a perfect fit for third-and-goal from the one-yard line.

Fullback: Chris Coste. Coste would do whatever it took to make the team, even if it meany playing one of the most underappreciated positions on the team. His size and experience as a catcher should help him block bigger defenders. Coste has good hands from blocking balls in the dirt and could contribute with short catches on first or second down.

Wide Receivers: Jayson Werth and Shane Victorino. Werth is tall, big, and fast. In fact, he is the fastest Phillie besides Greg Golson, Victorino, and Rollins. He has good hands and wouldn't be afraid to take a big hit. He reminds me a of a white Hank Baskett, except better. Much better.

Shane Victorino doesn't have height but is extremely fast and would be willing to take a hit. He would talk-the-talk like Freddie Mitchell but would have the ability to back it up. Teams would hate having to cover these guys.

Tight End: Chase Utley. The tight end of a team must be able to successfully block and catch passes. I think Utley could do both of these. He is hard-nosed and tough and wouldn't be afraid to take a hit or block a bigger linebacker. He also has good hands, with a knack for making spectacular plays. I think he would be a reliable option on third down or in the red zone. He reminds me of, as much as I hate to say it, a Jason Witten or Chris Cooley type.

Tackles: Geoff Jenkins and Joe Blanton. Jenkins would be a stretch at tackle, but the Phillies don't have an assortment of big players. It actually makes me wish for the days of players like Antonio Alfonseca and Jose Mesa. Just kidding. Jenkins weighs only 215 poundsand would be put at left tackle, because he is not big or talented enough to block Cole's blind side. He is the fastest offensive linemen and would be trusted to keep up with the quicker defensive ends.

Joe Blanton weighs 258 pounds, tied for the heaviest on the team. He would help Howard protect Cole's blind side and would use his size to overpower smaller defensive ends.

Guards: Matt Stairs and Ryan Howard. Stairs is listed at only 210 pounds but appears to be much heavier. He would play left guard, next to Jenkins. Howard stands at 6-4 and 258 pounds, putting the two biggest Phillies players right next to each other on the line. His job is to protect Hamels from his blind side, as well as clearing holes for Rollins to run.

Center: Carlos Ruiz. Ruiz is used to physical, dirty work. He would begin every play and then stop gigantic defensive linemen from decapitating Cole Hamels. He isn't very big or powerful, but Ruiz has heart and is tougher than most have realized. If he struggled at center, he would switch positions with Coste at fullback.

DEFENSE

Defensive Tackles: Ryan Howard and Joe Blanton. Howard and Blanton, the two biggest players on the Phillies team, have the unfortunate task of playing both ways on the line. Neither Howard or Blanton is quick, but both are strong and can hopefully overpower their opposing guard. They will also know all of the blocking techniques for guards, since they play offense and defense.

Relief pitchers Clay Condrey and Scott Eyre will help to form a rotation at defensive tackle for the Phillies. Neither Condrey or Eyre is huge, but they are used to having the spotlight on them for short periods of time.

Defensive Ends: Pat Burrell and Ryan Madson. Burrell could essentially play tight end on offense and will be playing a different type of end on defense. He is slow but his frame should help him overpower the defender and get to the quarterback frequently.

Madson is a surprise pick at defensive end. Memo to Madson: You're 6'6. Start lifting weights and develop your upper frame, and you should be able to get the job done. He reminds me of a Ted Hendricks type, the former Oakland Raider who used his enormous wingspan and height to block many kicks.

Chad Durbin and J.C. Romero will also hit the weight room and add 'relief' to the defensive end position.

Linebackers: Carlos Ruiz, Chase Utley, and Brett Myers. Again, Ruiz enjoys dirty work and is quicker and stronger than most people realize. He has good hands and should be able to play in pass-coverage or blitz the quarterback at outside linebacker.

Utley, playing middle linebacker, will be the emotional leader of the defense. He will be the one providing the big hits and sparking the team when a big goal-line stand is needed. Brett Myers enjoys hitting people (just ask his wife) and will use his 6'4", 238-pound frame at outside linebacker. He doesn't have much speed but should be able to help cover the tight end or blitz the quarterback.

Cornerbacks: Jayson Werth and So Taguchi. Werth would be a dream-come-true for Eagles phans, a big, physical cornerback who is able to successfully jam wide receivers at the line of scrimmage. He would be primarily expected to cover Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress, and Santana Moss in divisional games. Werth would have speed and agility, and hopefully exceptional instincts. He is an intelligent player and would be able to read the quarterback.

So Taguchi is only 5'10" and 170 pounds and would struggle against the bigger receivers in the league. He has speed to keep up with even the fastest wide receivers but wouldn't be very successful in open-field tackling or shredding blockers. His hands should come in handy and he would likely do a decent job in man-to-man coverage.

Greg Golson would be the Eagles' nickel back. The fastest player on the team, Golson's primary job would be to follow the ball in midair and attempt to intercept the quarterback. He would make up for his limited skills in coverage by possessing one of the smartest defensive minds on the team. He would be used to break up passes on third-and-18 situations.

Safeties: Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins. Defenses would struggle against this secondary, led by Victorino and Rollins. Known for their brash temperments and fiery personalities, Victorino and Rollins would make defenses pay for sending receivers across the middle. They would be running their mouths like crazy and even starting fights, but they would back up their words with their actions.

Victorino would play free safety. Free safety and center field are more similar than any other positions. His speed and prior knowledge of the game (he was a Division 3-A football player) would result in multiple interceptions for the Flyin' Hawaiian'.

Rollins would play strong safety and would use his speed to chase down blown coverage by the cornerbacks. He would excel in open-field tackling. Although only 5'9" and 5'8", neither Victorino or Rollins would back down to any player in football. The secondary, led by its safeties, would be the nucleus of the defense.

SPECIAL TEAMS:

Kicker/punter: Brad Lidge. The role of the kicker is similar to the role of the closer. Both provide short-term relief for the team. The kicker "saves" the team, as he gives the offense three points when they were unable to provide six. Lidge would essentially be perfect in this role and would play a large role in the success of the Eagles.

Kick/punt returner: Greg Golson. This position would be occupied by Rollins, Victorino, or Werth, but all three are already playing both ways. So why not give the position to the little-known 23-year-old who is actually the fastest player on the team? Golson runs a 4.28 40-yard dash, a speed that would make most defenders cry. Primarily a pinch-runner in the major leagues, Golson would use his speed and elusiveness to outjuke and then outrun defenders on kick and punt returns.

COACHING:

Head Coach: Jamie Moyer. Nobody knows the game better than 45-year-old Jamie Moyer, who might be the smartest player in the game today. He is extremely well-liked by his teammates and would have no problem effectively commuinicating with his players. He would demand respect and would be given respect. He knows the game inside and out, simply from personal experience.

The Eagles haven't won a Super Bowl in 48 years. The Phillies just won a World Series three days ago. Why don't we see if we can employ this team and capture Philly's second consecutive title? It can't hurt.

At least replace Akers with Lidge.